Blue Witch

Remote Witch Down Under: Day 3

Location: Sydney

Tired feet so did Botanical Garden on kiddie train. Saw bats. DYK Opera House is made of small tiles - rough stone coloured & white glazed that catch the sun, so it looks diff in diff lights.

Remote Witch Down Under: Day 3

Location: Manly

Here at the sardine can there is a surf lifeguard mincing up & down in a pair of tight navy speedos with 'MANLY' across the back ;)

Remote Witch Down Under: Day 3

Location: Sydney

Just been under the Harbour Bridge, now standing on the Opera House steps, about to get the ferry to Manly - have talked Mr BW out of the Bridge walk. 30 deg today.

Remote Witch Down Under: Day 2

Location: Sydney

Pointy hat's squashed & Orion's upside down. 120km tour of Sydney with expat friend today. Bondi Beach is like Sarfend - but 30 deg, 22 in sea. Seafood & fruit amazing!

Remote Geezer On Tour

My turn to go travelling, although sadly nowhere near as far as BW. I'm only going just outside the M25, but I'll be unbloggable until tomorrow evening (bloody residential team-building exercise).

As you'll have read, BW is now in flight from Hong Kong to "warmer climes" on the second leg of her Grand Tour. Maybe she'll sneak back onto the internet and write some more when she lands (but I suspect not...)

If any of you receive a text message from down under in the next couple of days, do post it in the comments box won't you? And, if I get any, you'll be able to read the latest from New South Wales just as soon as I get back.

Remote Witch In Transit

Location: dashing towards the exit gate

Got told off for being late boarding & no time to proof read my post or read the comments!

BW in airport

Got up at 04.30, checked in our bags in-town at Kowloon (no queue at all), then got the airport train to the airport, got exit row seats, and, thanks to MrBW's old silver exec club card and a check-in clerk who hadn't woken up, an entry to the lounge at the world's newest (?) airport.

BW: sends latest TM to DG.

BW: Would you like me to make you some toast Mr BW?
Mr BW: Yumm, nice, yes please BW.
BW walks towards toast making counter. On way spies free internet conenction. Quickly runs back to Mr BW to retrieve log-in details from Palm in bag.
BW: You can make your own friggin' toast Mr BW, I'm going to go and write more than 160 characters of update...
Mr BW: *scowls*

This whole city truly puts the rest of the world to shame. Spotless everywhere (our ex-pat friend says, thanks to SARS last year), exceptional service (without the ''attitude'' you get in most of the rest of the world), cheap, Value, friendly, helpful people. Calm atmosphere everywhere. Most tourist attractions free.

We will return.
And I could live here.
Easily.
And the technology is amazing.
And they've just put out the second call for our flight, so I must fly...

Thanks to DG for doing an excellent job so far :)
Might be able to find a picture message carrier and get some photos up from Oz (coudn't find the right network in HK) :)

Remote Witch On Tour: Day 5

Location: Hong Kong Airport

Giants now leaving the city of OCD cleanliness & surgically implanted mobile phones. Coldest day of winter yesterday; now off to warmer climes & fewer climbs. Got exit row seats :)

Remote Witch On Tour: Day 4

Location: Hong Kong

Champagne luncheon at the swanky China Club with an expat friend. "Hong Kong Garden" (well, Park-Conservatory, Aviary www.lcsd.gov.hk), Peak Tram & city view, shopping the locals way.

Remote Witch On Tour: Day 3

Location: Hong Kong

Roller coaster ride to/from Stanley. Brassy & not very spiritual up the big Buddah. All locals act as tour guides. Too many photo opps: Mr BW keeps deleting my pics!

More BW text messages in the comments box (via Elsie)

Remote Witch On Tour: Day 3

Location: Hong Kong

Have map and Octopus Card will travel. Doing Alan's mystery tour now. Peak View this afternoon. They have TV on buses.

Remote Witch On Tour: Day 2

Location: Hong Kong

Arrived eventfully in HK - the first city ever to surpass all BW's standards. 360 city panorama from hotel roof pool. Excellent meal in Causeway Bay Tai Woo's.

Remote Witch On Tour: Day 1

So, BW and Mr BW are heading off to the other side of the planet, and I've been left in charge until they get back. My job is merely to pass on a series of occasional text messages from far-flung locations as BW flies the world. Your job is merely to read, feel vaguely jealous and then pass comment, as and when appropriate. Fingers crossed there'll be phone reception in the various places the blue broomstick will be touching down.

Just arrived - the first of (hopefully) many virtual postcards from mobile Witch:

Location: departure lounge, London Heathrow Airport

Value Witch taken to airport by taxi firm owner so saved £5 tip. Managed to get marine housing for new digital camera duty free at airport. Happy Witch :)

Don't know about you, but I'm impressed how much BW can cram into 156 characters whilst still maintaining correct grammar and punctuation. Long flight ahead...

To be precis(e)

Here are the rules of the Remote Witch Game:

I write it, he posts it.

As I only have 160 characters (my god, how will Verbose Witch cope? :)), you will have to fill in the gaps in the comments (MrBW won't like it if I spend all day looking for internet cafes, and text from the Far East and Australasia is bloody expensive; I'm Value Witch remember :))

Others who have been stupid kind enough to give me their mobile phone numbers might receive additional details that they might care to share via the comments.

And I'll drop by from time to time if I am allowed. I'll have to be nice to MrBW, won't I? :)

Clear?

Let's hope the technology doesn't let us down... :)

We'll be out of here this time tomorrow, but my PC is about to be wrested from me by Little Computer Man who is going to turn it into Turbo BW PC in my absence. I pulled the first semi-all nighter last night that I've had to do for years to get everything done, but I haven't been so up-to-date/in advance of everything for ages. It feels good! Bed at 3.30am, up again at 8.15am this morning. Hopefully it will catch up with me on the plane tomorrow.

Remote Witch

Always pushing the boundaries of blogging, me.
Bit like my life really.
Always pushing the boundaries.
It works best if you do, see, I've concluded.

Although I think that I should be able to last for over 3 weeks without blogging, I know I shan't be able to.

So, I've come up with a cunning plan, which, technology and kangaroos willing, should mean that you can follow my epic travels. Watch this space.

(Have you noticed, Haloscan keep putting 'Blue Hole' as a text ad in the comments boxes? That's where I'm off to, of course, I'm imploding from over-blogging, I'm not really going away at all.)

The 40th Weekly Make Blue Witch Laugh Award

How did we get to 40? Good grief!

This pissed me off last night. Packing requirements have had to change. Considering that the shops in Oxford Street and High Street Kensington had almost no summer clothes when I went to raid them on Thursday (compared with the same week a year ago when I had no trouble buying summer clothes), I'm going to be a Witch in woolly jumpers in Australia. Or a Nude Witch. One or the other.

I'm going to lose my PC early this afternoon (Litttle Computer Man is coming to take it away, haha, for it's mega rebuild. It will be able to fly nearly as fast as my broomstick by the time I get home, hopefully). So, for today and today only, I'm going to post the winner now. Shock horror.

This week there are 6 contenders.

Contender 1: Ian:

I think it's about time I gave SimeWorld a kick up the arse. It's never going to be a contender to Diamond Geezer in terms of quantity of content (is he sponsored by the number of links he has on his page, or does he have some kind of link-related medical condition - like Tourettes syndrome but with Anchor tags ?).

This is the same Ian, by the way, who appears in your comments boxes demanding, nay, taking, free blogvertising. Ron has even given him a click-through banner from RW3 (highly amusing and very flash) and is threatening to charge per click. Still, his site (or should that be cite or sight? :)) redesign does include a lot more blue, so obviously he too is succumbing to my spells :)

Contender 2: Elsie. Here's part of her 'Letter from Italy', in case you missed it (transient posts, our Elsie):

Thursday: Polt in mood. Elsie oblivious. Drive to Milan. Lunch near Duomo. Risotto. Wine. Beer. Liquors. Stagger around Cathedral. Elsie moved to pray. Elsie apologise to God for forgetting the Lord's Prayer. Lights candle in a chapel. Sees the other chapel and wants to move candle. Is forced to put candle back.

I understand that as soon as Elsie gets paid, you're getting a picture of BW. Posted somewhere on the internet. Don't all die of anticipation, will you now? :)

Contender 3: Nigel. Bearing in mind my current predicament, I nearly didn't read to the end of this...

Hands That Do

Health and Safety turned up today to give me a work-station assessment. I was touched by their concern, until I realised they're only covering themselves should I get struck down with RSI and decide to sue.

However, I'm pleased to report my posture is perfect (those nights spent down at Love Muscle balanced precariously on some Mary's shoulders not in vain then); and, hard as it is to believe, I sit at my desk with both feet planted firmly on the ground. The most favourable comments, however, were passed on my keyboard technique, and especially the lack of any rigidity or stiffness in my hands as my fingers fly fluently over the keys.

You know, this is probably the very first time in my life that I have ever received official approval for being limp-wristed.

Contender 4: Alan (no, not the one where he replied to the starter for ten, "I secretly...", with "deleted your March archive." Because it wasn't funny and it took me all night to magic it back :)

When you're a kid, you throw up all the time. You down your juice too fast, then you go really really fast on the roundabout and all of a sudden four or five of your best friends need to be dry cleaned. Throwing up is really cool because sometimes you can discern what it is you've been eating, and it is incredibly embarrassing for your parent, guardian, or whoever pays the cleaning bill.

If you're a bit older, throwing up is usually caused by viral infections, but can also be self-induced either through alcohol poisoning or through sticking two fingers down one's throat in the mistaken belief that looking like a stick is superior to looking healthy.

A man after my own heart. Figuratively speaking, of course :)

Contender 5: Hmmm. Ron sums it up nicely, "I thoroughly refute the vicious rumours that I'm mounting an offensive to win the MBWLA award for the next three weeks. Regulars will know that I do not write for MBWLA points because to be funny you have to be miserable (or harassed or cyber-stalked) and I don't want to be those things. If BW is sophisticated enough to pick up on the sarcasm and wit imbued into every word I write, well I can hardly be called to account for that.:-)" However, let's just say that things got 'rather enthusiastic' in the RW3 Chatroom one day this week when I was out. This resulted in Ron's 20 point report following what he euphemistically calls 'Black Wednesday', when apparently hair colour and breast size overtook gay porn, mooncups and other matters pertaining to ladies in the offensiveness stakes. This resulted in The Rules, which, for that sake of posterity, and humour, I shall publish in full as Ron will no doubt delete them from his archive next week

The Ron Report

After due consideration and a fairly rushed half-assed review of the comment thread, Ron has decided he can't be arsed to write a report.

The salient points of todays events, and recent commenting behaviour, as defined in Rons head, are as follows.

1. The level, topic and personal nature of the comments threads has become markedly more 'adult' recently.
   
2. There has been a subtle yet noticeable shift in the nature of topics discussed to be ruder, more salacious and increasingly pushing the boundaries of what the webmaster finds acceptable, it having been established that he is a pretty broad-minded chap.
   
3. This has got to the point where no real consideration is given to casual passers by or people who may find some of the topics offensive, in an attempt to achieve the best 'gross out' possible.
   
4. Implied in this is a lack of respect for the wishes of the webmaster or due consideration for other Internet users, given that it is a public unrestricted access website.
   
5. There is a paradox generated within comments, insofar as people who tend not to know one another personally also tend to take comments from each other *more* personally than from people they do know in real life.
   
6. Moreover there is a presumption that controversial comments are *intended* to be offensive and personal, even though all evidence points to the contrary being the case.
   
7. Comments, definitely on the part of the webmaster and probably on the part of others, are often controlled and influenced by communications and knowledge outside the thread and not generally known.
   
8. There is no point 8.
   
9. On this particular thread two evocative and personal topics, as far as girls are concerned, came up, hair colour and breast size.
   
10. It is not considered by this board to be a constructive exercise to apportion blame on an individual basis.
    
11. Comments were made by several parties which would almost certainly not be made in a face to face situation, and opinions proffered that gave no consideration to the circumstances of any individual. This produced anger on the part of at least one individual whom became defensive and abusive as a result.
    
12. There is no requirement for, nor defence for the use of abusive language. Strong opinions are best served by cold dispassionate logic. Such abuse must be condemned.
    
13. I'm starting to bore myself with this, but I'm on a roll.
    
14. Despite repeated warnings for a ceasefire, the abuse continued, based on points 5 and 6 in the view of the board, and there was no alternative but to deactivate the thread.
    
15. The board hopes that today has been a learning experience for all, and that in future commenters will follow the following guidelines.
    
16. The board was unanimous that Carol Smilie has exceptionally white teeth, which the board would like to touch.
    
17. On topics that may be controversial - which could be anything given the range of people whom might be reading - stop and think about what you are about to post before you post it. If it is personal, or abusive, then DON'T POST IT. You will inevitably gain the moral high ground and support of the thread if you instead state that you do not wish to follow that road. Consider whether yoy would make the comment to the person face to face, or whether you are merely taking advantage of the anonymity of the web for a cheap hit.
    
18. When reading posts from others, try to give as much leeway, and the best possible interpretation to what they have said. If it is still offensive, then respond by all means but FOLLOW POINT 16.
    
19. As a second front, from now on Fabio's comments (with the exception of those directed at or discussing the webmaster - he is my brother after all), will go UNCENSORED. Fabio is a person of no conscience and no scruples and he will offend you if he sees fit.
    
20. Furthermore the webmaster will not hesitate to edit or delete as he sees fit all posts and/or ban posters who are continually abusive.
    
21. At this time however, so long as commenters agree to show restraint and follow the guidelines, the board see's no reason to close the comments thread.
    

Do you think I'm a bit anal then?

And may your god help you all, as Dave Allen would say, because as Ron says in his pissed post last night (which - in case he sobers up and removes it, so that everyone knows, included the phrase, "I want to line all you naughty girls up in a row and spank your bare botties! And yes, that includes BW! (it goes without saying that there is no disrespect to Mr BW, I'm not that brave, even when I'm drunk!)") "Weekend RW3 coming up. What did I do last weekend? Oh yeah, 'Offend entire Internet', it says here."

I'm just glad my computer's being wrested from me mid-afternoon and I'm leaving the country tomorrow :) Around 00:45 this morning, me and e tricked Ron into revealing himself. We know his secret. So might you if you get over there before he wakes up, sees, then deletes the comments :)

Contender 6: dave whose comments I have really appreciated this week. Even if I haven't laughed aloud, I've often smiled. I've somehow got through a mountain of report writing and other paperwork (suffice it to say that I have used an entire black ink cartridge, and a 500 sheet pack of A4), and, in my current SAD and stressed state it's only the things in blogland that have made me smile that have kept me going.

turtle cove is nice too, bit further up the coast. they were shooting a porno on turtle coves private beach the day i visited. they asked me to be in it but i just didnt have the time.

As I shan't be around to dish out any points for the next couple of weeks (Mr BW sighs with relief and goes back to counting the remnants of the Honey Store), and because I am in a generous mood (sorry, I can't take you all with me but I can give you points), you can all have two points this week, and you can all have a trophy on your blog for three weeks. Can't say fairer than that, eh?

Thought for the day

Now, where is that time manufacturing spell...

Foreign exchange

*Looks lovingly at Australian dollars collected from bank yesterday*

They really are too pretty to spend. Plastic see-through watermarks. Almost as nice as the Dutch notes used to be before the Euro. Excellent Value Witch tip. Live in Australia then you won't want want to spend any money. But, I would like to know why it has been suggested to me that I might want to try scrunching one up? It's probably illegal... or maybe they're indestructible?

Blogland is wonderful sometimes. There's always someone who knows something about whatever you need to know about. I've had some super advice behind the scenes from NiC on digital cameras, from Alan on restaurants and shopping and from dave on restaurants and diving. Excellent. Thank you all.

Now, does anyone else have any tips or ideas on anything to do with anywhere on our itinerary: Hong Kong, Sydney, Blue Mountains, Ayers Rock, Cairns and Barrier Reef environs, Singapore? Mr BW has been planning this trip for months in his lunchtimes, bless him, and I've had very little to do with it. It wasn't until I started looking at a couple of websites dave directed me to last night, that I actually got excited. 29 degrees C in the water up on the Barrier Reef :)

Right off to Town to get some suitable new attire for the trip (I told Mr BW not to make me throw out so much in the Great christmas Wardrobe Clear Out, but, he did insist, so now he reaps the rewards. Or rather, I do :)). And some new bras. And, tra la la la la, I'm having lunch with her and dinner with him. Who's a lucky Witch? :)

Thought for the day

Trouble - The supply exceeds the demand.

Only I'm allowed to be SAD

Lets all try and cheer up a bit shall we?!
Everyone seems to be sad.
Everyone seems to be arguing, or being depressed.
Right, Witchy's not having it. No time for a spell to cheer us all up, so let's try another one of those sentences that need endings, like we did yesterday.

This time (highlight, read, put the first thing that comes into your head in the comments box):

I secretly...

Running on Empty

Jackson Browne. They don't write songs like this any more. I'm going to cut this down just a bit for my own purposes.

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
Looking back at the years gone by like so many summer fields
I don't know where I'm running now, I'm just running on

Running on - running on empty
Running on - running blind
Running on - running into the sun
But I'm running behind

Gotta do what you can just to keep your love alive
Trying not to confuse it with what you do to survive
In sixty-nine I was twenty-one and I called the road my own
I don't know when that road turned onto the road I'm on

Running on - running on empty
Running on - running blind
Running on - running into the sun
But I'm running behind

Everyone I know, everywhere I go
People need some reason to believe
I don't know about anyone but me

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels
I look around for the friends that I used to turn to to pull me through
Looking into their eyes I see them running too

Running on - running on empty
Running on - running blind
Running on - running into the sun
But I'm running behind

I'd love to stick around but I'm running behind
You know I don't even know what I'm hoping to find
Running into the sun but I'm running behind

I've been running on empty for over two weeks now.
I always get like that this time of year.
This Winter I really felt that I had finally beaten the SAD.
It didn't kick in until the New Year, but now it's really got me.

Everything has piled up, I feel physically wrecked, I'm drowning in paperwork (so having to spend 12 hours a day sat at my PC working), my usual meticulous shopping habits have slipped and we are fast running out of essential items. I even nearly let the blue broomstick run out of fuel the other day - when you fit over 51 litres in a 50 litre tank you know you've been running on vapour for miles... (I did get Value from that episode though, because I had a Sainsbury's 4p per litre off coupon :))

Luckily, Mr BW knows how to handle this, hence us taking our 10th anniversary trip a couple of months early. What's the point of going to warmer climes in the Spring or Summer anyway, particularly when you have a garden and livestock to look after?

As Meatloaf says,

"Will you raise me up, will you help me down?
Will you get me right out of this Godforsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?"

I went past the scene of the near-catastrophe-on-the-ice-on-Saturday again this morning. My tyre marks were very clear in the mud, and just looking at where they stopped in relation to the telegraph pole makes me realise that someone was on my side there. I tried to take some photos of the scene with my camera phone, and the pictures seemed okay at the time. However on looking at them now, they have all gone dark and one of them has really weird blurs across it. Almost like someone doesn't want me to have a representation to study. Very disconcerting though.

3 more days to get through...
And when we come back all the Spring bulbs will be out and the buds on the trees will be breaking.

Thought for the day

Now... it isn't that I want to be alone,
But that everyone's alone - or so it seems to me.
They make noises, and think they are talking to each other;
They make faces, and think they understand each other.
And I'm sure they don't. Is that a delusion?

- Celia, in The Cocktail Party by T S Eliot

Sex and Calories

Gert had this up yesterday. If you'll pardon the expression ;)

Quote of the day

"I think I'm going have to close RW3 under the Obscene Publications Act at this rate..of late it's just gone so much beyond the grandma test...why don't other peoples sites do this?"

Anyone know the answer? ;)

Sentence Completion Test

I often use a sheet of 40 beginnings of sentences requiring finishing off for calculating the writing speed of a student (time how long it takes to complete the test, count number of words written, divide one into the other, make non-scientific adjustment for use of particularly long or short words).

It's not a projective test at all, just a way of giving them something to write about, and I always stress that answers to questions do not have to be true, and should be simply the first thing that comes into their mind.

Nevertheless, I chuckle at some of the answers that are written down.

One of the best ones for generating amusing answers is written in magic print below. When you are ready, highlight the white space, take the first thought that comes into your head, and put it in the comments box below.

I can't.......

Later I'll add some of the funniest answers I've seen.

Later: I'm not sure that mine as as funny as some of those in the comment box, actually. Well done to all of you! FWIW:

- help staring at women in short skirts
- always get it up when I'm drunk
- write what I thought of here

Spooky coincidences

Mr BW likes Dilbert. Every year I buy him a Dilbert calendar for his desk, and as part of this you can now get a daily Dilbert e-mailed to you. Today's was:

Error, error...

The only drawback to voice recognition software seems to be that the errors it inserts are quite subtle, and difficult to pick up. Mr BW usually proof-reads reports and documents for me before I send them out, but, as some of the things that I write are quite bizarre (tis the nature of the beast), quite a few errors are getting through at present.

Despite repeated training on individual words, it still persists in a few mistakes:

'Bart' for 'but'
'wrong' for 'Ron'
'blocking' for 'blogging'

I make no comment :)

Other than to say that it reminds me of when I was doing my Master's thesis in 1989. It was an LEA-commissioned project looking at improving administrative systems in special schools, and I was working with 13 different headteachers, several of whom were extremely prickly and felt very challenged by the work I had been asked to do. My Amstrad PCW 9512 (who remembers them?) ran Locoscript (I loved Locoscript) which repeatedly insisted on replacing 'headteachers' with 'heartaches'. I still chuckle about that one. It was so appropriate, given the milieu in which I was working.

Probably the best recent error to nearly get through, had it not been for Mr BW's eagle eye, was a sentence in a report about a student with ME.

I was quoting from a specialist assessor's report. It came out as,

"A wheeled book trolley to minimise journey to tea,"

whereas it should have said,

"A wheeled book trolley to minimise journey fatigue."

(and yes, she does travel through London, so all those of you in the Anti-Wheelie Brigade have now got another to contend with. Sorry, not my fault.)

Thought for the day

Today's update will someday be your own back story.

- Mark Bernstein

Social history left in a very tangible way for your grandchildren...

Random bits

Weird vibes and goings-on out and about in blogland at the moment. Very spooky and unsettling. Must be the time of year. Glad we're getting out of this depressing January weather soon. Although the nice bowls of hyacinths that we planted last November are cheering us up in the interim.

Make Ron happy (he's miserable cos people have made him think and he's refusing to post all week. Again. Ho hum), use [del] and [/del] instead of [s] and [/s] for strikethrough. Although in witches' hats, of course. [s] tag is deprecated apparently. Unlike RW3, which is just plain depraved of late. Interesting social anthropology going on round there though. And it's the social anthropological aspects of blogging that appeal to/fascinate me the most. Just think, I even offered Ron sale of some *coughs* interesting film footage. What was I thinking of? ;)

Haven't had much time to write about anything of consequence just recently. There just aren't enough hours in the day at the moment. It takes time to run 0% balance transfer scams (legal ones, I hasten to add, just working the system in a Value Witch way :)) against your offset mortgage in the way that I do, and I need to get a month ahead of myself with all the latest ones before we go away. One day out and I lose all the financial advantage. When you play with £60-70,000 of bank money at 0%, you don't want to be making too many mistakes.

Elsie's threatened to start publically blogging again if I motivate her with a MBWLA. If anyone sees anything remotely funny that she writes, do let me know, won't you? :)

Couple of bits for the "So I don't lose them pile" - nice article entitled "10 Tips on Writing the Living Web" mentioned by Commentator Ted earlier, and I like the thingy that Harriet has right down the bottom of her sidebar too.

And - what's all this about the EU trying to get rid of our "Made in Britain" marks on British products?

And another 'thought that occurred to me this afternoon'. What are the ethical dilemmas for a vegetarian of sperm? Amazing what occupies the processing space that passes for a brain in my head sometimes ;)

Airline Food

Do you know, there's even a website dedicated to photographs of airline meals. The Qantas ones look pretty good actually, as airline food goes. Now I wonder how many of the six flights we're going on will manage to have the pre-ordered vegetarian meals (that we will also check at check-in and at the gate) on board?

Horror stories of airline food anyone?

Thought for the day

"Excess accountability and loss of self-determination often lead to unhappiness."

"If you neglect your "me-time", if accountability takes over your life, if you feel that everyone owes you because you've been a good boy or girl, then practically everyone will fall short in your eyes. Because nobody really owes you anything. We are all responsible for living our own lives. If we want happiness, it is up to each of us to identify and engineer the circumstances in which our happiness can flourish. We are not indebted to anyone and no-one is indebted to us. So we should not expect anything from anyone, not even our nearest and dearest."

- Purple Pen e

Handedness Survey

Finally found half an hour to collate the results of last Monday's handedness survey. Been a bit busy. Have been report writing all weekend to try to get ahead of myself before going away, and was interrupted for a couple of hours at lunchtime by Mrs Good Friend Blue Witches popping in on her way from the South West to Cambridge to see her daughter, and talking about the trials and tribulations of being a beauty therapist, particularly in the area of *ahem*, intimate waxing (she made MrBW blush, she did :), not to mention me squirm - why do people do it to themselves? What's wrong with razors?)

Thank you to all 48 survey participants. If only there'd been two more, it would have made the percentages so much easier, wouldn't it? Well, I'll add me in, then it'll be 49. Except that I have to take out the 2 non-bloggers, so we're then back to 47.

*Gross over-simplification alert*

*Professional interest declared* (so don't start on at me, OK? :))

Generally, in Western cultures, the majority of people are right handed and straight-armed for handwriting. It is also usual for the paper to be rotated through an angle varying between 0° degrees and 45° to the body.

Between 2 to 30 percent of any human population is left-handed or ambidextrous, with most estimates for left-handedness in Western cultures hovering around 10%, depending upon the criteria used to assess handedness.

Issues of cross laterality or mixed dominance make the whole subject area a minefield, and I am therefore only going to consider writing handedness, as it applies to bloggers in this survey.

For a long time I have felt that most bloggers, with one or two exceptions, were likely to be right handed (therefore left-hemisphere / speech and language dominant), due to their chosen (written/verbal) medium of communication. My 'one or two exceptions' were those bloggers who use a lot of photos or other visual images on their blogs. Those that particularly came to mind (within my regular blog-reading-sphere), and who I wrote down on my list, were NiC, Daisy, Terreus and Somewhat Muchly (she's sort-of-back, my spells have sort-of worked, don't all rush at once).

My hypothesis was proved to be correct in the case of NiC, partially correct (but see below) in the case of Daisy, incorrect in the case of Terreus (he probably only saw the poll because I went and prodded him into responding - ever wish you hadn't bothered to do something? :)), and unconfirmed in the case of Dino Features.

Of the 47 respondents with blogs, 43 (91.5%) were right handed and straight armed, 2 (4.3%) were left-handed and straight armed, 1 (2.1%) was right handed and hooked and 1 (2.1%) was left-handed and hooked.

Given that those who write with a hooked grip are generally considered to have their handwriting controlled by the same brain hemisphere as their writing hand (whereas those who write with a straight arm generally have their motor control of handwriting controlled by their opposite brain hemisphere), overall this survey has found that a smaller-than-average proportion of bloggers surveyed are left handed for writing (6.38% in this population cf 10% in the wider population).

This is unlikely to be statistically significant, reliable, or valid (due to the small sample size), but interesting (at least to me) in terms of preferred modality of communication and hemispheric specialisation of function. Is anyone still reading? :)

For further information, pick from here.

Paperclip Poll

36 votes (is that all, what's wrong with you? :)) had been cast by close-of-poll at 9am today.

The Official Returning Officer (ie me) can report that the preferred alternative uses for paperclips are as follows:

holding clothes together (3) 8%

makeshift repair tool (7) 19%

makeshift repair part (2) 6%

jewellery (0) 0%

cotton bud (2) 6%

hook (1) 3%

magically slicing bananas (15) 42%

visual aid for scientific concepts (0) 0%

other 'scientific uses' (3) 8%

picking locks (3)

So, you've decided, billy wins.
What colourway zebra paperclip would you like as your prize billy?
Please reply on a £10 note, enclosing a stamped, self-addressed, jiffy bag :)

In case there is anyone who doesn't know how this particular piece of magic works, here is billy's explanation:

"...get an unpeeled banana and 'undo' a paperclip...pick one side of the banana and 3cm down insert paperclip through the skin...move the paperclip from side to side and then withdraw...down another 3cm and insert paperclip again and do the "side to side" thing again...keep doing this down the length of the banana...then find person to impress - tell person that you have laser eyesight and will now cut banana through the skin...stare at banana...offer banana to person and ask them to peel the banana - hey presto, one sliced banana is revealed :^)...
...might not have explained this very well but the 'reveal' does mean that you can convince a classroom of kids that you can see through walls :^)..."

Thought for the day

Good humour costs little; in fact, it's free and it has one of the best pay-offs possible.

The 39th Weekly Make Blue Witch Laugh Award

I went out really early to get seville oranges for marmalade from the market while they still had some (they are only available for two weeks of the year), and to get the last few bits we need for the holiday before the town got busy.

The roads were sheet ice as the council hadn't gritted them, as usual, and, coming back through a small country lane, but at a very moderate speed, I hit a patch of ice and nearly redesigned the blue broomstick. Fortunately skid-pan training many years ago kicked in and I ended up in a hedge on the opposite side of the road, with my nearside 1 inch (no exaggerating), from a telegraph pole and my front wheels 6 inches from a deep ditch. Managed to reverse out of that one, fortunately (and goodness knows how) no damage at all, and was just counting my lucky stars when, half a mile down the road a car was coming towards me on the wrong side of the road also having slid on the ice and out of control. Somehow he avoided me too. So, I'm shaking, about to have a sit down and cup of tea, then I'll put up the MBWLA contenders.

I hope that's a good enough excuse for the slightly delayed posting this morning for the impatient amongst you. You know who you are, Ron :) And, needless to say, I shan't be going out again today. Getting away with it twice is enough of a miracle, let's not tempt fate.

This week there are 4 contenders. I've been very busy and haven't had much time to be out and about in blogland this week. There were probably more. I missed them. Sorry.

Contender 1: On Tuesday night I nearly lost my voice. So then I had RSI and no voice. drD commented:

Mmm - could we be heading for a new syndrome RVI ? You're so leading edge witchy.

Contender 2: "I'm not funny any more and don't want any more of your BW Points anyway" (only slightly paraphrased :) Ron:

I was just thinking before, how if my body was the Starship Enterprise, there was a little mini-Scottie on the intercom to my head-Kirk before as I did my hour and 15, shouting 'Captain, Knee operating at Warp 2, we're at 75% on the engines, I cannae push it any further!', with my head replying 'Scottie I need Warp 9 on the knee or I'll never hit 800 calories in time!'. You'd be amazed some of the crap that pops into my mind. Very right-sided brain you see. Creative.

The task now is to stop myself twisting my knee again. I have deduced I must do this in bed in my sleep. Probably whilst I'm fighting Orcs, Germans and French people in my dreams. I may resort to simply restraining myself, a bit like a patient in a mental hospital. I'll be much less scared that way when they eventually do come to take me away.

Right, well we had a dash of 24 hour commenting yesterday, as people joined hands across the globe to unite in taking the piss out of me.

Contender 3: Bearing in mind my paranoia about the aircraft arrangements for our upcoming trip to warmer climes, and my dislike of the way The Shrub is attempting world domination, DG made me laugh with his bit on lunar emigration:

When your next lunar mission is finally ready to embark, please ensure that no sharp implements are packed in your astronauts' hand luggage. We also ask that astronauts refrain from queueing by the anti-grav lavatories while in transit, no matter how desperate they might be after 72 hours in space. On arrival at 'Sea of Tranquility Interplanetary Spaceport' our admissibility personnel will check individual surnames against a list of known terrorists. Our most wanted list is headed by the notorious Apollo moonrock thieves 'Armstrong' and 'Aldrin'. Never doubt our unfliching resolve to avenge the unprovoked geological attacks of 1969.

The Lunar Government looks forward to greeting your future ambassadors, assuming that this latest announcement of yours isn't merely a cynical election year pipedream. However, we regret to inform you that Lunar citizens are no longer making plans to visit your nation. America's latest paranoid security arrangements have been the last straw for potential alien tourists, and we can't be bothered to come visiting any more. Shame, because we used to enjoy buzzing flying saucers over the more remote parts of your Arizona desert. Your ridiculous new border controls border on madness, and we refuse to demean ourselves by submitting to your arrogant, petty-minded demands. So George, sorry, but that's the way it is. It's lunar, see.

Contender 4: Moi, who's going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment:

Children.

I love my kids.
But.

I don't love teenagers.

I have three teenagers living in my house and the youngest two are driving me to distraction.

More than anything I want to see my children grown up, settled in good jobs and happy.

The only problem is that right at this moment I can't guarantee they'll live that long.

Hope things improve soon Moi, but at least you're still laughing :)

Ah, just looked out of the window. The D'Oves are playing in the wind. They like being kites. It must be great to wind surf like they do.

Winner: Ip, dip, sky blue, who's it.... hmmm.... very, very difficult choice this week. Let's see... Hmmm... I think that Ron just has it. But only because I want you all to go and give him some grief over the post he has doctored from last night (when it was outline headings and OK) put up today. Really Ron, I'm not sure what you're trying to achieve, but.... well, have 2 points and The Trophy for the week to reward your bad behaviour. Ooops, done that wrong haven't I? :) (btw, to comment on that post, you'll need to go in through the front weblog page as the permalink doesn't include the comments in it. So much for being a cutting edge web designer :) Update - 5 minutes later - apparently he has responded to Witchly Correction and there are now comments on the permalink page. And he is eagerly awaiting your visits... :)

(And, Handedness Survey and Paperclip Poll results coming tomorrow - still time to complete them if you haven't already - scroll down a bit)

Paperclip Poll: You Decide, Who Wins?

Yesterday I offered readers (*thinks* is there a special word for 'blog readers' for the Dictionary of Blogspeak that lives in the sidebar (albeit in a needs-to-be-tidied-up form)?) the chance to "Win a special BW zebra paper clip in the colourway of your choice", by sharing "the most novel alternative use of a paper clip that you can imagine."

Thanks to everyone who made a suggestion - there were about 25 sensible ideas. However, I'm a Nice Witch, so there'll be no, "poking enemies in the eye" Ian, thank you (bloody hell, Ian's posted some content this week, just because I've been too busy to check just in case), and no, "making voodoo dolls to torture blue witches" mojo man, OK? :)

I've tried to condense them into 10 categories (as that's all that will fit in the poll software - update - I've now found how to add more, but 10 is enough, I've done it now). *thinks* Shit! That might cost me more than one of my prized zebra paperclips in prizes now. Drat :))
You may need to refer to the original list in the comments to work out what fits where. I know what I'm doing anyway. Probably.

You Decide - Who Wins?

Paperclip Use Poll
Which is the best 'alternative use' for a paperclip? ONE vote each only, please or there will be spells :)	holding clothes together makeshift repair tool makeshift repair part jewellery cotton bud hook magically slicing bananas visual aid for scientific concepts other 'scientific uses' picking locks
	Current Results

Poll closes at 09:00am on Sunday 18th January 2004.
Winners will be announced at whatever time I get out of bed afer that.

Screen capture

Gordon (or, more precisely, one of his commentators) has supplied something I've been wanting for ages. A piece of magic that captures "scrolled screenshots" of an browser window.

As I always say, if I post it on me blog I won't lose it. Plus, someone else might find it useful. Thanks Gordon.

Value Witch Tip: Note there is a 30 day free trial :)

Haloscan

Anyone noticed the free ads today?

One says "Bill Gates assassinated" (I didn't click the link).

Another says "1200 anti-Bush bumper stickers to download" (or words to that effect).

Witchy likes Haloscan :)

Thought for the day

Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box.

- Italian proverb

Paperclip Poll

Stupidly, ridiculously busy here. That's the penalty for being about to dare to take over 3 weeks off.

Well - spent an hour tonight being Reiki'd (forced relaxation and getting my energies back into equilibrium - I am a huge magnet to unhelpful energies - which, strangely, are not 'negative' energies, and physical symptoms such as the current RSI often emerge when I feel stressed) and my wrist is 1000% better. I've got movement back! May even be able to get some sleep tonight now. Another time I'll write about Reiki and how beneficial it has been to both me and Mr BW (who used to be a sceptic).

I'll put my 9 favourite paperclip use ideas up tomorrow (it's going to be hard choosing the 'best' 9, but I can only put 9 into the poll machine) and then we'll have a little vote.

101 uses for a paperclip

Due to the number of paper clip fetishists that appear to read BW, I have decided that today's discussion point should be novel uses of said objects.

I have a lovely supply of zebra paper clips, in striped combinations of either green-and-white, orange- and-white, yellow-and-white, blue-and-white, red-and-white, or black-and-white.

So, for the chance to win a special BW zebra paper clip in the colourway of your choice, simply share the most novel alternative use of a paper clip that you can imagine :)

Voting on the top ideas later. Probably much later the way things are manically going round here at the moment...

Thought for the day

Nobody's family can hang out the sign, "Nothing's the matter here."

- Chinese Proverb

Arrivals and Departures

I never quite believe that we are actually going on holiday until the tickets arrive.

Well, the tickets have arrived this morning (and oh my goodness, what a big pile of them there are!).

According to Mr BW's calculations last night, between now and the middle of April he will be travelling for a total of 75 hours on various aeroplanes. For 44 of those hours he is to be accompanied by me. I am not the sort of person who finds it easy to sit still for any length of time, neither do I enjoy being forcibly confined in small spaces in the company of other people, particularly small children and fat Americans. Luckily, though, we not going to America, and I have ways of dealing with small children.

And, I am less than impressed by current media reports that airlines are being restrictive about allowing passengers to walk around, or queue for the toilets, on aircraft. And by this story, found at Pat's.

Now, here's a challenge for bored people this afternoon.
What films are:

1. BA showing on January flights to Hong Kong?
2. Qantas showing on January flights from HK to Sydney?
3. Qantas showing on February internal flights?
4. Australian Airlines showing on February flights flights from Cairns to Singapore?
5. Qantas showing on February flights between Singapore and London?

(And yes NiC, I know I said earlier that I didn't want to know, but I have now decided that forewarned is forearmed :))

Rorschach ink blot test

Hans commented that this image from yesterday reminds him of "an orgy" as "it looks like a lot of entangled arms, legs, backs, bums and feet!". Personally I feel that, "if one must use the image as a Rorschach ink blot test, then I'd say that it looked more like the aftermath of an orgy, rather than the orgy in progress ;)"

What does it look like to you?

In my opinion, Rorschach ink blot tests, as anything more than a bit of fun, are of very questionable reliability and validity. However, if you want to take an almost-real test, try here (watch the pop-ups if you haven't got a pop-up killer, or rather, don't watch the pop-ups if you haven't got a pop-up killer :).

From the BW inbox

"Dear Sir

We come to know that you are interconetted with bees and honey so plese alllowing us to introduce ourselves as an importer of waxes like Paraffin Wax, Micro Crystalline wax, Montoun wax, Carnauba wax, Residue wax, Slack wax and Candelilla wax as Bees Wax from various countries like Japan, Germany, Iran, Brazil, China, and Spain. From the internet sources we come to know that you are deling with honey and bees we hope that you can easily provide us bees wax for January end shipment and if possible plese connect us with the bees wax exporters

We hope that you will take care
Thanking You

Best Regards

Ram Avtar Bansal / Rakesh Kumar Bansal
SHRI RAM SONS WAX PVT LTD
Delhi-110006
INDIA"

I think it's the line "We hope that you will take care" that worries me most :)

Thought for the day

If there's a harder way of doing things, someone will find it.

Conversation from The Coven

Mr BW: Oh BW, you poor little donkey, do go to bed, you're exhausted!

BW: Eh?

Mr BW: A donkey's a nicer version of a horse!

BW: Sorry?

Mr BW: You've nearly lost your voice BW!

BW: Yeah, I know, it's 3 days of talking to my PC non-stop, and today out talking to people all day. But, I don't see how that makes me a donkey, or a horse..... Ah, hoarse, I get it now. I must be tired, mustn't I? I'm usually rather faster on the uptake. And, I wonder how far from normal my voice can be before the software doesn't recognise me?

Time for bed said Zebedee.

Handedness Survey

Thanks to everyone who has added their details already. It is still open - scroll down 3 posts.

Stationery Gems

The best invention of all time in the stationery department, as far as I am concerned, is the treasury tag. I use large quantities of these items to keep piles of paperwork together, without needing to use files or folders. 2" ones are my favourite, although I also like 3" ones. I prefer plastic ends to metal though, as the metal ones tend to rust if they get damp. Old-fashioned they may be, but useful they definitely are.

I also like paper clips and staples, although the former are not quite secure enough for my liking, and the latter can be annoying to remove.

What are your favourite items of stationery?

Thought for the day

If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the
bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.

- Jean Paul Getty

Survey Time

In my mind I have a little file in which I have worked out whether particular bloggers are right or left handed. It's all to do with the left and right brain theories that I've discussed before (current CPU restrictions mean that there's no way that I can open another internet window and carry on dictating this, so you'll have to do without the link :))

An e-mail over the weekend has already confirmed one of my hypotheses :)

So, would you mind telling me whether you are left or right handed, and, if applicable, whether you handwrite with a 'hooked' position (ie with your hand looped back on itself, so you write from the top of a line rather than with a 'normally' straight arm)?

The voice of the future

Almost not using hands for computer work at all now, as this dictation software is absolutely brilliant. This is definitely the future come early, for me. I've put in about 10 hours work over the weekend learning all the commands and training the software, and making all my existing templates and documents into forms compatible with dictation but am now getting almost 100% accuracy, and it is definitely very timesaving. I reckon that by the end of the week I will be working at least twice as fast as previously.

I can even get it to read my e-mail aloud to me, or documents that I have dictated, while I check them.

And it will scroll down web pages for me. And click buttons. And move between windows. And work seamlessly if I choose to use the keyboard simultaneously.

My hand is now feeling much more comfortable, thanks to not using it for mouse work, regular hot baths with the bubbles switched on, and the application of chamomile oil (thanks Beth for the tip).

I'm using Dragon Naturally Speaking Version 7 Mobile, which comes with a digital dictaphone as an alternative input method (it is based on the top 'available through retailers' version, "Preferred"), and I certainly think that the budget or standard versions, without the text to speech capability, would be limiting. There is also a "Professional" version that stores dictation after the programme is closed, for future review (my version will only store it while the programme is open).

I speak reasonably clearly, and and without a regional accent (except when I am trying to fit in with the 'natives' or get a good deal from a person in a market or at a boot sale :), and have considerable experience (albeit seven years ago now) at dictating. However, the software is supposed to be able to adapt to anyone's voice, and training individual words is much easier than in past versions of this package, or ViaVoice (another similar package, although I understand that no further development work is now being done on it). I also talk very quickly, and am amazed that the software can keep up with me. Once I get my new 2.6GHz CPU in this PC it should be a lot quicker (at present it is working at 100% CPU capacity most of the time, and there is a definite lag when I am speaking quickly, although it does catch up with itself when I pause). It does mean that I am trying not to have anything other than e-mail open while I am working, but, that's probably no bad thing :)

In my opinion, it is essential to use a digital USB headset, with a built-in pause button (which can be used by your non-dominant-hand to stop the dictation without the need to use voice command, for example, if the phone rings while you are dictating), rather than the supplied headset that relies on speakers / the quality of your sound card.

Douglas (the lengths I had to go to to get him out of commenting hibernation here :)) suggested a 3M Renaissance Mouse (a vertical mouse. At £68, although probably double the price of other good mice, it is a small price to pay for freedom from debilitating pain (and make no mistake, when you have RSI it severely limits everything you do - it becomes painful to clean your teeth, dangerous to pick up saucepans and you generally have to think twice about everything you do).

I don't know what the official figures currently are on keyboard-related RSI, but I know they are high. Many working days are lost annually. With software like this around now, I really don't think that such standard RSI-inducing tasks such as data entry will need to be done manually for much longer. Or, more to the point, that there is any justification for requiring them to be done manually rather than by voice. I suspect that within 3-5 years everyone will have the choice of talking to their computer rather than typing. You heard it here first folks :)

And, by the way, I apologise in advance for the fact that there are bound to be errors in my posts, and comments, and particularly to anyone who gets half-written comments in their comments boxes that accidentally post before I have checked them, or ones that, had I typed them, and therefore had more time to think, I might have deleted without posting (we all do that, don't we?) :)

Ooops, and I apologise for all the long sentences too :)
It will be interesting to hear from you whether you think my writing style changes significantly through being dictated rather than typed.

Thought for the day

Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this, you are dreadfully like other people.

- James Russell Lowell

Security Alert

If you use instant messaging, are you aware of this?

"ntl:home have been advised by Microsoft of a weakness in the Microsoft Messenger application, supplied with many Windows operating systems. Customers who are running Microsoft XP (Home or Pro) or Windows 2000 could be impacted by a future virus attack."

Information and details of the required patches can be found here.

Thought for the day

Doubts are our fuel.

The 38th Weekly Make Blue Witch Laugh Award

Coming later.

Much later: Isn't it amazing how much you can get done in a day when you can't use the internet or email? Little Computer Man has concluded that to run voice recognition within Word, while having other applications such as Internet Explorer or Outlook open, requires a processor very significantly greater than the 500MHz specified by ScanSoft, or the 1GHz that I currently have (so, it's three years old, and it was state of the art then). Therefore, while we are away in a couple of weeks, BW's PC will metamorphose. Majorily. And we've done some major financial jobs, including bagging up £128 in small change from the gallon Bell's whisky bottle in which it collects.

I have a feeling that the majority of this week's contenders may only be amusing to me. However. There are five of them.

Contender 1: billy:

"I think I'm going to have to get healthy just at the same time that the rest of the blummin' world is saying the same thing...I'm toying with having a couple of days off the booze, maybe doing a few sit-ups/press-ups, pumping up the tires on the bike and going for a ride, having sex with me on top, eating something that is called a vegetable, going for a walk, drinking two litres of water a day...but I want to make it perfectly clear - this is not a new year's resolution, I am not doing it because everyone else is doing it...I am doing all of this now because it suits me to do it now - I am not a lemming, I'm a free man...so long as we all realise that - I might (might) give it a go...in which case, best get rid of temptation - there are still another 11 cans of beer left in the fridge and there is arsenal v leeds on the television...best get rid of the beer then :^)...and it's bound to help me out 'cos tomorrow I've got to give a urine sample - so if I drink 11 pints of beer today, I'm bound to want a piss at some time :^)"

Contender 2: roger posted a lovely summary of assertiveness:

"Our Rights

The underlying philosophy of assertiveness training is based on the premise that we are all equal and that we all possess the same basic rights.

Many people seem to have forgotten, or never have been told, that these rights exist.

The goal of assertiveness is to stand up for your rights without violating the rights of others.

A good starting point is to remind yourself of some of these basic rights.

1. I have the right to express my feelings.
2. I have the right to express my opinions and beliefs.
3. I have the right to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ for myself.
4. I have the right to change my mind.
5. I have the right to say, ‘I don’t understand’.
6. I have the right simply to be myself without having to act for other people’s benefit.
7. I have the right to decline responsibility for other people’s problems.
8. I have the right to make reasonable requests of others.
9. I have the right to set my own priorities.
10. I have the right to be listened to, and taken seriously.
11. I have the right to make mistakes and feel comforable about admitting to them.
12. I have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
13. I have the right to say, ‘I don’t care’.
14. I have the right to be miserable or cheerful."

And then asked, "Can you think of any other rights of assertiveness?"

I was about to post a deep and meaningful comment but, the first comment, by The Great Crab had me in hysterics and quite made me lose my train of thought:

"I have the right to throw a pie in DrunkCow's Face"

Contender 3: billy was giving his new reader a rundown of his life as he knows it. One of his points was:

"I am good in bed - by that I mean I sleep on my side and I don't snore..."

Contender 4: Hans 'forgot' to post again. After a few days I commented, and Hans replied:

"*whistles, "part-time bloggers" song*

Blue Witch | Email | Homepage | 01.05.04 - 8:17 am | #

*joins in*

Hans | Email | Homepage | 01.05.04 - 11:01 am | #"

Contender 5: and just to prove that dead bloggers can get MBWLA points, even in other dead bloggers' comments boxes, mike, to whom I said this, repeated it to Elsie. After she'd repeated it to him. I think.

"*nods and smiles knowingly*

(c) BW 2004"

One point a piece to each of the above, and an extra point, and custody of this week's MBWLA Trophy, to Great Crab. Although it has to be stressed that that comments thread stopped being amusing after the initial "shock". And goodness knows where Great Crab is to be found... presumably in a rock pool? I'm sure that immersion in sea salt for a week won't be good for The Trophy :)

Progress report

Thank you all so much for your advice, in the comments and by e-mail, on my RSI and technical problems. It is very reassuring, although maybe rather worrying, to find how many people have, or know people who have, had this problem, and that it does resolve.

I have now bought a USB headset for the voice recognition software that I was having trouble with, and this is now returning a speech to noise number of 20 (whereas with the supplied headset it was 9, and unacceptable, and giving only about 10% correct dictation).

So, I am now coming to you by voice not typing (which may or may not be the same voice as certain of you may be reading me in today :) Now, all I have to do is learn all the commands to correct dictated text...

This reminds me of when I first started dictating file notes and reports back in 1989. I vividly recall spending the whole of a beautiful autumn afternoon sat in my then office in Dorchester (a huge room in what was an old Victorian rectory) teaching myself to dictate (and driving myself to distraction) and managing just two short file notes that I could have handwritten in 10 minutes. However, it was a skill worth acquiring, as I now find. Once I have mastered the correction, I'm sure that it will speed up my work output (and hence my time for blogging :)) no end. However, I do feel that unless you are used to dictating, using voice recognition software would be very difficult.

As a couple of you suggest in the comments, I am now convinced that it is using the scroll wheel on the mouse with my middle finger that has caused this problem. Hmmm, I wonder whose long comments box threads I can blame for that? :)

Right, so, I now have proof that this will work, albeit slowly, until I am more practised, so I am a very Happy Witch and can now go to bed with my olbas oil and camomile poultices. Once, that is, I have managed to download the 30-odd MB patch that is apparently also necessary, on a 40,000 bps connection - well, as I want some sleep tonight, I have actually just e-mailed Little Computer Man asking him to be very kind, and bring it along in the morning.

Translated news

Well done to all who managed to break the code yesterday!

For those who didn't it was a simple shift code where a=3.

Therefore b=4, c=5 ... x=26, y=1, z=2 etc. The easiest way to solve (simple) codes is to look for the single-letter words such as "I" or "a", or other common words such and "the" or "and". I deliberately put a huge clue in when I wrote 6.17.7.21.16.'22" as the apostrophe signified that the word was likely to end "n't". From there it's a simple process of writing out the alphabet and putting the corresponding number next to each letter.

As the code said, I currently have a problem which is making typing slow and painful. I appear to have developed what I think is an RSI type injury to my right wrist/hand. I think it's developed as I used to touch-type, then developed a right-hand style which only uses 3 fingers when I had a trapped nerve problem. Holding the little and index finger up while I type (and I do around 60-70wpm), and also using the scroll wheel on my mouse with my middle finger, seems to have strained my hand. This has been developing for some time, but is now at the stage where it is hard to do anything that is in the same plane as typing (if that makes sense).

I have tried voice recognition in the past.

I started with ViaVoice about 4 years ago (when it first became available), which was dreadful. Dragon Naturally Speaking 6 (18 months ago) worked to a point, but kept crashing my PC when working within Word. I also found it frustrating correcting errors in lengthy documents as it didn't seem to learn as it should.

At BETT on Wednesday I had half an hour with one of the Scansoft Team (who happened not to be busy) and he showed me what V7 will do (which is impressive, once you've learnt it), and concluded that most of my problems before were caused by trying to run it on Win Me (yes I know!), and by the fact that "V6 was a bit of a pup compared with V5."

So, I bought Dragon Naturally Speaking 7 yesterday (at a Value Witch discount, of course :)). Mr BW and I spent from 6pm until 1am trying to get it all working.

The digital voice recorder seems to be working OK. It produces .wav files which are translated into .svt files (or possilby the other way round - I don't do technical!), which then 'read' into the voice recognition software for transcription. I use a lot of technical words, so obviously there is a lot of training of the system to do. Corrections have to be made via the headset and, for some reason, despite my system being above what is required, the setup is telling me that the audio input quality is not good enough. As the headset input quality is not good enough, I cannot yet use the system to open and move between applications, or to dictate accurately.

I've tried the headset that comes with the package (which worked perfectly when I tried it at BETT) and another better one that I bought previously, so it doesn't seem to be that. The PC system spec requirements are "a Creative Labs Sound Blaster 16 or equivalent sound card" and I have a Sound Blaster PC128 (I've never needed to use it before as I usually work with the speakers unplugged). But, I think that my card is better than the minimum requried?

Now, Little Computer man is coming out tomorrow to see what can be done. In the meantime, have any of you techie readers got any ideas?

And, is anyone an expert on the prognosis / treatment of RSI? Other than saying keep away from a keyboard :) The worst thing is that I am very right-handed. I'm trying to eat with my left hand, and can now appreciate why small children dislike mealtimes - it is too frustrating trying to get my food into my mouth accurately....

Thought for the day

Eagles come in all shapes and sizes, but we can recognise them chiefly by their attitudes.

- Charles Prestwich Scott

News

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Thought for the day

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.

- Faith Baldwin

For careful and wide readers only

As he won't and she is forbidden from so doing (although she may guest blog it, and if not it possibly maybe something else, possibly, maybe, if I get the spell correct...), I'll just tell all those of you who are curious and anxiously awaiting info, that they had exactly the same dinner. She fancied the waiter. And talked him into letting me have my starter as pudding when they had pudding because it's horrible when 2 want pudding and 1 wants starter on a 2-course dinner thingy.

Oh, and you Londoners gave me some more staples. Thanks K£n :)

That's all I'm saying, unless bribed :)

My bounty from the education technology exhibition in London today was:

31 assorted pens (the cheapest and nastiest from HP)(I beat my record by 2!)
3 pencils (only I had to give one to each of the above so now I've only got 1)
3 rulers (2 blue, 1 red)
1 fold-up frisby (blue and yellow)
3 stress balls (2 orange, 1 yellow)
1 brown mousemat (very tactile)

All in all an excellent and Valuable day :)
(But some of that new technology around - hardware and software - is scary isn't it?)

Vegetables

Mr BW and I were reminiscing over the festive break about how we used to be in times before we met.

We got round to talking about things we used to eat. Or, rather, things he used to eat. What I eat hasn't changed much for - well, a loooong time. As my large collection of old till receipts will attest. One day I'll map the prices of certain BW staples over the years. Ah yes, that reminds me, BW staples. Listening Elsie? :)

Mr BW had a passion for Birds trifles. Occasionally I treat him to a trip down memory lane. Well, once in 10 years anyway.

He also liked tinned vegetables.
Potatoes and carrots, IIRC.
*shudders*

Well, I like tinned tomatoes, tinned sweetcorn, baked beans, tinned red kidney beans (all of which tend to be the basis for recipes), and, occasionally (stirred up with salad cream and lots of black pepper, or balsamic vinegar and fresh tarragon) tinned broad beans. But anything else? No, never, yuck.

Especially tinned peas. Particularly mushy ones. The most revolting and disgusting foodstuff on the planet.

What tinned vegetables do you like and dislike?
And, does anyone actually still buy tinned veg these days?

Thought for the day

We are living in a fast-laned culture that is losing touch with the rhythms of the seas, the light of the stars, and the feel of the soil.

- Ben Hawkinson

More American lies?

Have I missed something, or have we all missed the truth about Saddam Hussein's capture?

(Thanks to Lisa for the link)

New terms sought...

No, not a piece about the new 6 term school year, but rather a need to produce some new definitions for the Dictionary of Blogspeak (now permanently resident in the sidebar, although still in need of a rework from its original form).

There are an increasing number of ex-bloggers, ex-blogs, undecided-maybe-ex-bloggers, and undecided-maybe-ex-bloggers' blogs around. As with everything, I need to hoard it for a while, in case it 'comes in useful', or, in the case of undecided-maybe-ex-bloggers' blogs, in case it comes back to life (she said, hopfully :) ).

While removing my Santa hat this morning (btw, my ears are chilly now), I also moved a few of my links to dead / dying blogs down to the bottom of my links list. I couldn't decide what to call them though. I've noticed that Moi has recently set up a MIA/AWOL Gone but not forgotten... category, and e has a Blog Mausoleum.

In the comments below, MrD came up with:

Blog Cemetery = "X Blogs the Spot" - an amalgam of "X marks the Spot" and "(E)x Blogspot"

Any other ideas for appropriate terminology for:

(a) an ex-blogger?
(b) a collection of ex-blogs (eg in a links list)?
(c) an undecided-whether-to-continue blogger?
(d) anything else connected to this subject?

Thought for the day

Is it more worrying to pretend to like flesh-and-blood ('real life') people that you know, or to like cyberspace ('virtual') people that you don't know?

The Last Witch of christmas

Blogs are great places to store things you don't want to lose.

Last night I had the strangest dream...

I am getting seriously worried about the way blogland is infiltrating people's dreams.

I seem fairly immune at the moment - I rarely remember what I dream about anyway - except that last night I dreamt that I had put an apostrophe in the wrong place and, sure enough, this morning when I checked, I had.

I think I'll have to start a Strangest Dream Connected to Blogland Award.

This might be in with a chance :)

Saving You Money Witch

Someone told me about this one the other day - I have just seen the official confirmation.

From January 1st, if you don't re-tax your car before the existing tax disc expires, you will automatically be fined £80.

It isn't clear whether there will be any 'days of grace' in the system, which will be entirely computer-generated.

Given that more and more people are taking longer holidays, and that cars change hands at a very rapid rate these days, with DVLA now only sending out renewal reminders a week or so ahead, this is going to be an interesting issue to watch.

And tax discs since September have pretty holograms incorporated. All lovely and shiny. Have you seen them?

Value Recycling Witch

Empty inkjet cartridges are THE most valuable post-consumer item.

The Facts:

Over 30 million inkjet cartridges are dumped each year in the UK alone.

Worldwide this figure increases to over 375 million.

Statistics reveal that only 5% of all empty inkjet cartridges are currently being recycled.

More inkjet cartridges than ever are being thrown away each year. E-mail has increased the amount of paper used in offices by almost 40%.

Plastics used in inkjet cartridges can take over 10 centuries (1000 years!) to decompose

90ml of oil is used to produce each inkjet cartridge.

In the last six months alone, inkjet cartridge recycling has saved more than 50 million litres of oil. This is more oil than what was tragically spilled by the Exxon Valdez in Alaska's Prince William Sound in 1989.

Carbon-based gas is a major cause of global warming. Inkjet cartridge recycling helps reduce carbon emissions as well as to conserve resources and reduce waste.

I use a Hewlett Packard G55 OfficeJet, which I love to bits. For the type of printing I do, compatible or refilled cartridges do not provide the quality I need. HP inkjet cartridges are very expensive. I used over £250 worth of ink last year. *shudders* However, I did recycle all 9 of the cartridges I used. Local schools and good causes (eg some charity shops) sometimes provide recycling facilities, but, provided you have 6 to send at a time, you can send them, freepost, to a recycling plant and get paid directly. Most cartridges are worth £1 - £2, but a few are worth more. I got £20 back on my empties last year.

If you work in an office where cartridges are binned, just imagine how much you could net, either for yourself, or for a good cause. Not to mention the environmental savings, of course.

Details here.

(There may be companies around who pay more - certainly the amounts paid by this company have gone down 25p per cartridge in the last 6 months, but I have been dealing with them for several years now and find them reliable and honest.)

Cleaning up

I was just looking round The Coven, thinking how much it needs a jolly good clean as our wonderful lady wot does hasn't been in since 22nd and isn't coming again until Thursday. OK, so I've cleaned the bathroom sinks a couple of times, squirted bleach down the loos once or twice (my bottom line is always, if I needed to be sick in the middle of the night, would the loo be clean enough?) (ooops, sorry if you are eating / have just eaten) and made Mr BW get the Dyson out once or twice, but it's not the same. Having now had 'staff' (well, OK, a staff :) for almost 13 years (yes, it's one of those Significant Dates that my mind stores), it's jolly hard to have had two and a half weeks without them her. Cleaning is my least favourite activity, largely as I am so obsessive that I'd be doing it constantly, and I would give up many things before I'd give up our wonderful cleaner.

I try to seek solace in blogland before starting work at 9am, and what do I find? DG discussing Hoover Numbers (funny) and drD discussing dust mites in duvets (creepy).

*shudders and starts work earlier than planned*

Thought for the day

Life is full of contradictions.
It's how you resolve them that is important.

The end of christmas

OK, decs and cards now down (well done Mr BW), most of the cheese and chocs now eaten, last bottle of champagne of christmas drunk, christmas tree chipped up (8 foot tree goes into 15-20 litres of space, plus long pole for sawing up for fires next year) (recycling is us). Don't start me off on reclycling - the clothes from Operation Declutter the Coven (see below) leave in the morning. I'm devastated. I've still only got 3 bras and it's not amusing.

The christmas holiday is the only time that Mr BW and I really get to spend time together and relax. For the rest of the year, any spare time is always filled with necessary Coven Tasks, or the thought that we should be doing them. Like, bees, the garden etc etc. This year has been especially precious and special because last year we lost the christmas holiday as Daddy Mr BW was very seriously ill in hospital. This year it has been hard to get away from that feeling - I know that there must have been many people around who have had the same experience this year. For us there was a good outcome, eventually. For others there won't have been. I'm thinking of them. And of Good Friend BW who goes into hospital in the morning for yet another operation to attempt to, yet again, put right the damage an idiot in a 40 tonne truck did to her upper arm nearly a year ago.

*basks in warm glow of blogday present comments*

Thank you all :)
It's all...so...unexpected!
You are all too kind.

"endearing eccentricity" eh? But I'm normal - it's the rest of the world that is out of step... :)

More Value Witch will be forthcoming (to be honest, that was one of my main aims when setting up BW) as will more rants. I have plenty of customer dissatisfaction situations to tackle in the next few days...

Ooops, I've still got me christmas hat on in the sidebar. It's keeping me ears warm. However, I'll take it off on twelfth night. Now, is that the 5th or the 6th?

I am one!

Yes, it's my Blogday!

Happy Blogday to me :)

I've been contemplating three very different posts for my blogday.

In the eventuality I haven't got round to doing any of them as Mr BW has been firmly on top