Blue Witch

The truth is out

As promised earlier... just remember it's hard to get anything past a Witch... last week this, this week this. I'm onto a lead for next week too...

Just 7.2 miles from The Coven. Not far from a very appropriately named pub. I am very annoyed that I wasn't invited. And I am speechless. For once ;)

I guess the idea all started from comments here...

Detective Witch

You know all those people who were mysteriously absent from blogland over the weekend, or who are running repeats?

Well, I know where they all were. And I will be posting the evidence later ;) (just as soon as I've finished making 50kg of sugar into syrup, boiling beetroot, and lentils, ordering new pages for photo albums, and cleaning out hens).

In the meantime, don't believe anything you read elsewhere. They are all cover stories :)

And - oh yes, lovely to see her back from her travels, and I'm doing super-strength spells to get her back with us tomorrow.

Thought for the day

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a fool about it.

- W.C. Fields

With a 'cluck, cluck' here and a 'cluck, cluck' there

Just look at Esme's hairdo (featherdo?) - isn't it cute?

Thought for the day

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure - try to please everybody.

- Herbert Bayard Swope

Mr BW said,

"BW, when you've quite finished being fluffily artistic with our dinner, could you possibly bring it in, because I'm ready to start cooking it?"

Can't get fresher than that.... freshly laid eggs and freshly murdered vegetables.

100% organic. 100% delicious.

Sunday

It's cold. I had to get my coat out for the first time in months. Why do Country Shows have 12 tombolas? An owl tried to peck its handler and I was pleased. I don't like birds of prey kept in captivity to provide flying displays at shows.

Mr BW is now in full preserve production mode: victoria plum jam, sage apple jelly, plum chutney. We've nearly run out of jam jar lids because I've forgotten to buy any recently (well, I buy them 5 gross at a time, and I didn't realise just how many had been used).

I want to go to sleep but apparently I have to put the 800 photos into albums before I can do that. I may be up all night.

Olympic Round-Up

Good on you Kelly Holmes, good on you 4 x 100m relay boys, and what a great last night!

The Olympics seem to have stolen the last 2 weeks of my life (I've certainly watched more hours of TV than I have for the entire rest of the year, and for a non-sport-loving Witch, that is really saying something), but, what coverage! Well done to all the BBC team. Dawn to dusk, advert-uninterrupted coverage. I don't know how the team in Athens have done it. Long may the BBC continue to win the right to televise such events. Steve Cram v Brendan Foster on some of the athletics commentary - priceless.

eg 10,000m women's final on Friday night:

Brendan: and it's 30 degrees out there and no-one would blame Paula if she succumbed to the heat...

Steve: the thermometer on the track says it's 26 degrees, and maybe Paula shouldn't be here really...

Well, it's spawned a whole new expression in the BW Household... "to do a Paula" (wimp out without trying when you realise you can't win) - maybe one day this will rival the dictionary recognised phrase of "to do a Delia." You could have walked home dear, you'd have got a lot more respect. I can't bear people who don't play the game - it's the taking part, not the winning, that is important.

But, I still couldn't tell you what colour order the 5 rings are in...

Rare Breeds: Esme & Edith

Mr BW noted from the comments yesterday that Eleanor, who arrived here from a search engine, was looking for a picture of an adult Cream Legbar hen (as she'd just bought some 6 week old ones). Always happy to contribute to the great WWW of knowledge, he's just taken these. Good luck with your four Eleanor - pop back occasionally and let us know how you get on!

Cream Legbar Hen (18-20 weeks old).

Cream Legbar (left - 18-20 weeks old) and Buff Sussex (right - about 20-22 weeks old) surveying their enclosure from on high.

The 62nd (August Summary) Make Blue Witch Laugh Award

Yes, I know I said that I'd do an August Digest when I had a bit more time at the end of August, but now that I come to look at my file of copied and pasted snippets, I find that there's not much in there. And of the 5 in there, 3 of them no longer exist (do they Mr Piggy, eh? That'll learn you for accidentally deleting your blog :)), one isn't funny now, so that leaves just one, which would be lonely all on its own.

I haven't found anything particularly funny in the whole of the last 2 weeks anyway. As mike says, it must be August.

Well, OK, I'm fibbing, maybe I have. Those who've found it will know where it is already :) I'm undecided about whether to share it, because last time I did that it all went pear-shaped...

Well, today is potter in the garden day. AKA forced labour day. It's hard living with a person who has to constantly be doing things... Lucky for me I do though, because I have a need for achievement that could not be fulfilled by the amount I can get done unsupervised.

And PS - for the Hen Watchers - they're all getting along fine :)

Hen Update

Now that it's stopped raining, the smalls have come out of the ark and they are all munching happily together.

Additional Thought for the day

I've come to believe that everyone knows innately what's right for them and what will make them happy. I've come to realise that much of what passes for 'civilised life' - money, possessions, jobs, f*****g 'status' - are actually mechanisms that divert innate vision and seduce us away from ourselves in the belief that our happiness lies with their false promises.

- drD

Excellently put. A man after my own heart. And good on you, drD, for having the courage of your convictions. Good luck, hope it all works out for you as you'd like it to.

Hen Update

The new hens are cowering in the hen house, refusing to come out. Probably because it is pouring with rain, or maybe because they are hens of little brain and haven't worked out where the 'down' ladder is yet.

We tried to bribe the seven older ones (right picture) to be nice to them by giving them their favourite snack for breakfast. It was highly amusing, me with a coat on over my nightie, running up the garden carrying this (left picture). But, it worked. Well, actually, it didn't, did it? Because the new ones are still cowering inside.

Now the energiser that powers the electric netting that surrounds their area is malfunctioning (Edward will be pleased about that I'm sure). Soon there will be nothing left at The Coven that hasn't gone wrong this month.

Update - 11.45am: They're out, pecking happily and being ignored by those we bribed earlier. So far...

And the Big Bod Nice Ladies are after me - they're looking for someone to join the team of 6 who do all the display/staging for the county events and shows. Apparently, 'You, BW, are the obvious choice.' Oh just feed my ego why don't you all? Then, when I've had enough begging phone calls, I can say no :) Well... I would if, ages ago now, my Witchy Powers hadn't picked today as the date when something would happen that would change things for the better. Here's hoping that something else happens later on...

Just to prove those of you who think I only ever moan about poor customer service wrong...

BW Blue Star for exceptional customer service to www.gardenlines.co.uk for excellent prices, next-day delivery (for items ordered by noon) at no extra cost, and staff who care.

I dislike ordering large items from websites, preferring to talk to a human who can answer questions and advise on delivery etc. Gardenlines answered the phone promptly, could answer all my questions, and were happy to take payment and details over the phone (I've had people before say, "No I can't take your order, you have to go back to the website to order now.") The website is easy to use, and fast, even on my slow connection.

Usually packages sent by courier arrive at The Coven by lunchtime, due to our distance from local depots (as they do the furthest points first). So, when the new lawnmower hadn't arrived by 4pm yesterday, I rang www.gardenlines.co.uk to get some details so I could chase it through the system to check that it would arrive (I wanted to get the grass cut before the rain came as I have a pathological dislike of long grass!). A most helpful man immediately had my details to hand and gave me the consignment number and the courier contact number so I could deal with them first hand (I'm sure he'd have done it for me, but it was easier and quicker for me to do it directly).

And, the same man has just rung me this morning to check that the lawnmower did turn up eventually yesterday, and that we are happy it (which we are).

The company also sell other garden machinery, barbecues, garden play equipment and garden furniture. I'll have no hesitation in going back to them next time I need something in this sort of line.

Thought for the day

Whatever you are, be a good one.

- Abraham Lincoln

More Familiars

Not brilliant pics, but they give you an idea. Having brought them home in a cat box (left), borrowed child was very useful in helping transfer them to a holding pen (right) until we could sneak them in with the established birds when dusk fell.

In the morning the pecking order wars start. Judging by the events of this afternoon, I'd rate the Cream Legbar (Esmerelda) (right - isn't her tail lovely?), above the Buff Sussex (still in need of a name)(left - aren't her neck feathers lovely?), even though the latter is larger.

They are Mr BW's arms, before anyone asks.

Technology V Nature

The email's up the swanny again, NThelL are dropping my connection every minute or so, 34sp had an outage for 6 hours last night, so I'm giving up on technology and going to pick up Esmeralda (or is it Esmerelda?)(that name popped into my mind while I was putting a new loo roll on the holder, so I decided, after yesterday, that it was a sign - so that's what I'm going to be calling her - good hen-name, isn't it?) and her, as yet unchosen, friend.

Then, I have acquired an 11 year old boy for the afternoon. A slave. Hope it doesn't rain as I've plenty of garden jobs for him. If it does rain we shall make a nice batch of honey fudge.

Anyone got any good recommendations for PAYG ISPs for occasional use when NThelL are messing about)? I used to use LineOne (which became Tiscali) but that doesn't work anymore (probably because I created a mail rule to delete all mail from them from the server before downloading it so I didn't get the stuff to tell me that I needed to re-register or something).

I'll post a photo of my new familiars later.

Thought for the day

Perhaps it would be a good idea, fantastic as it sounds, to muffle every telephone, stop every motor, and halt all activity for an hour some day, to give people a chance to ponder for a few minutes on what it is all about, why they are living and what they really want.

- James Truslow Adams

Reading time?

While we're on the subject of toilets, as we were, I have a question that comes out of a conversation with The Good Friend BWs last weekend. And the 'The Ultimate Book for Reading on the Bog' (that wasn't its exact title, but my brain's not working too well at the moment as I'm all exercised out - I saw it yesterday - it's bound to be a new publication so I'm sure someone will have heard of it).

I just cannot understand why people choose to take reading material with them into the smallest room. As I said to Mr Good Friend BW, who is a confirmed-loo-reader, either he needs to eat more roughage, or buy a more comfortable sofa. It's not as if he has kids or anything to escape from...

I just cannot think of anything worse than reading with my knickers round my ankles and... No, I suspect that line of thought is actually a line too far :)

Why?

Toilet roll dolly coasies

This one is just for Steve. Yes, they do still exist, so you can be one today, if you like dear :)

I've been meaning to put it up for a while. He must have picked up my thoughtwaves. Again.

These ones were spotted at a traditional Barrel Fayre in Westleton, near Dunwich, in Suffolk, by us, a couple of weekends ago now.

I nearly went in the sack race. Only Mr BW wouldn't walk fast enough for me to get to the sign-on place in time. He said I'd had too big a plate of fish and chips and a pint of scrumpy in the pub at lunchtime and he didn't want me being sick, because then I wouldn't be able to keep him company eating ice-cream and a cream tea.

I have never been able to understand the point of putting such an item over a loo roll. Sooo early-70s. Does anyone still use them? Or similar?

Thought for the day

The future is here. It's just not widely distributed yet.

- William Gibson

Update on the To Do list (from below)

• Couldn't get any white hens locally. Scotland, yes, Devon, yes, but locally, no. It was a sign. Because I have since found that I can get a cream legbar locally, but not until Thursday. She is very pretty, a rare breed, auto-sexing (don't ask ;)), and will lay blue eggs :) I'll have to see which other one I fancy to go with her as the breeder has lots of different varieties, most of which I've never heard of.

• The local lawnmower shop annoyed me, and eventually said they couldn't get the mower we wanted until the end of September (having been telling us since last Thursday that they'd definitely be in today), so I ordered it off the net as I threatened earlier. Wish I'd done that on Saturday because by now the lawn would be cut. It will be delivered to The Coven Door on Thursday, so it will work out cheaper than going to get it from the local place.

• Got to Costco after spending an hour stuck on the M11. Saw the most dangerous piece of driving I've seen since I wrote about the last piece... an AA van (registration AE51 MGV), doing at least 80, if not 90, down the outside lane of the southbound M11, just before the M25 junction, at 4.50pm, in torrential rain where the rest of us (even White Van Men) were doing 30 or 40. He was bloody lucky that he didn't need the 1st, 2nd and 3rd emergency sevices. I shall probably ring the the AA about it in the morning - not that they will do anything, but...

• It's good that Mr BW reads here as, bless him, he'd potted up all the strawberry runners by the time I returned from my pilgrimage to Costco (where I felt quite ill as they already have christmas stock on the shelves).

• I managed to get some ready-picked greengages from an old boy down a lane on the way, so Mr BW has made 11 jars of greengage jam tonight (my absolute favourite jam).

• Found a new chiropodist who will come to The Coven for less than the price that the greedy one charges for going to her (not that I care as it all gets refunded by HSA, which is why we do it - Value you know, is all).

• Booked Mr BW's birthday surprise, and got most of the way to finding somewhere to stay for a couple of days near where it is.

So - that just leaves the parcel packing, holiday booking, tidying up, photo albuming, and plum picking for tomorrow. Alternatively I may just have a lie in then watch some more Olympics.

Puzzling times

Go and see Mr Piggy and solve his puzzles.
Because I can't.

To do or not to do?

Today I need to buy:

• 2 new hens (the sort that lay white eggs, only I'm not totally sure what sort that will be, yet - maybe White Leghorns or White Sussex - they'll be white though, because white hens lay white eggs)

• a new lawnmower (if they don't get them in today then I'm giving up on friendly local garden machinery supplier and ordering it off the net - except that it will then cost £2.35 more and that's half a bottle of wine :))

• a whole load of stuff from Costco, only I can't really be bothered to go down to Lakeside

I also need to:

• find a new chiropodist as the one we've used for the past 8 or 9 years cannot offer an appointment until the end of November (I hate it when these people greedily take on so many clients that the old ones who've built them up from nothing can't get seen - and, believe me, I made my point :))

• book Mr BW's birthday surprise (only it's now not a surprise because he chose it himself because I failed to find something suitable)

• decide whether to go to France, Tuscany or Greece for a week's holiday at the beginning of October, and find and book something suitable

• pack up some items to post

• put 800 photos into albums

• tidy up the mess in the Inner Coven - throw away lots of things and rearrange the filing on the rest

• pick plums

• make plum jam and plum chutney

• pot up strawberry runners for next year's strawberry beds (amazingly, we are still picking strawberries, and even had them for breakfast today)

Alternatively, I could just carry on sitting watching the Olympics.
What a choice...

Thought for the day

What we call progress is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance.

- Havelock Ellis

Is there something he isn't telling us?

Washed up

Right, now I'm not just tired, I'm knackered. I cannot do an hour of pilates and 45 minutes of aquacise end-on on a Monday morning when I've had the sort of alcohol fest weekend with Good Friends BW that we have. Today I've found muscles I didn't know I had too - just by the front of my armpits. They bloody hurt.

Anyone who's been to The Coven recently is likely to have heard me moan about our dishwasher. It replaced an excellent 13-year old Zanussi machine that died 3 years and 4 months ago (I know I said it was 2 years and 4 months ago last week, but, time flies past in Dirty Dishes Land). It really hasn't been washing properly for weeks now. Dirty and stained plates, bits on glasses, tea stains left on cups, no shine on anything, depsite there being sufficient rise aid and salt. The nylon filters have disintegrated, the basket wheels keep coming off, parts of the baskets have gone rusty, it smells hot when running, and it's been driving me nuts.

I can't bear it when machines start to malfunction. I don't take nonsense from people these days, so I refuse to take it from objects that are meant to make life easier.

Having consoled myself by working out that price of the Useless Zanussi machine divided by the number of washes done in 40 months was around 15p per wash, last Friday at 4.30pm I went into local small town to see what was around to replace it.

I was absolutely determined not to buy anything made by any part of the Electrolux Group (Zanussi, AEG, Tricity, Bendix, BeRo) because the build quality has gone dowhill to the point of being totally unacceptable, and if one needs to call for service under the warranty (ServiceForce), it takes them 11 days to give an untimed appointment, and the 'engineers' are 19 year old spotty kids who are rude, arrogant, can't solve the problem (and tell you there's nothing wrong with it when there clearly is or you wouldn't have called them), and put mud on your carpet (in my experience).

I was thinking maybe Bosch or Miele, but wasn't quite sure that I wanted to pay quite as much as Miele wanted (and they didn't come out brilliantly in the last Which? tests). When I saw that Bosch appliances were now similarly priced to Zanussi, I got suspicious. Turns out that they are now made in Poland, using cheaper parts to reduce the price to 'mainstream buyer' rather than 'superior product' prices. So, I crossed them off the list. The Miele that I liked was nearly £700, so I crossed that off the list too. Which nearly left me having to wash up by hand (or getting Mr BW to do it :)). But, as I've had a dishwasher since 1985, and am allergic to every sort of washing up liquid, and I do use a lot of cups and glasses in a day, I decided to take advice from the owner of the local independent electrical retailer.

Luckily Gargoyle Elsie is on her hols or she'd tell me off for buying a Siemens machine. But, if they are the only people who produce the quality of product that I was requiring, then it had to be (and, let's face it, show me a company that doesn't have an ethical problem somewhere in its history or current trading practices).

We went in to order it on Saturday at 9.30am. By 3pm, it had been delivered, installed (no additional charge for the extra plug as the fitted one had to be cut off to go through the hole in the unit to the socket), the packing neatly bagged and put in the dustbin, and the old machine removed, all while we were out in the garden with Good Friend BWs drinking our way through the fifth litre bottle of Pimm's of the summer. That's the joy of doing business with local independent electrical retailers. And we got a further discount on the already discounted price, just because Mr BW asked.

It may have been double the price of the last Useless Zanussi one, but it is almost silent, washes well, is beautifully engineered (baskets slide rather than judder, door closes with a reassuringly precise click rather than a thump, there are basket shelves that things don't fall through, and props for stemmed glasses), and has a 'free' 5-year warranty. Expensive but Value.

The older I get, the more I realise that you get what you pay for. I expect applicances to work, and last, the way the ones I bought when I first left home did. I now understand that, sadly, these days, you only get that level of satisfaction if you pay more. So be it.

Oh - and we found out why the old Useless Zanussi machine had been smelling hot when running - the insulation on the back had melted away (and I mean melted, not just peeled off - it had actually deformed the hard plastic) from the top. I'm trying not to think about what might have happened if I'd put it on and gone out and it had caught fire... Or, if it had caught fire during the night while we were sleeping (as we usually run it overnight using Economy 7 electricity).

Excuses, excuses

I would post about the weekend, but there's eye candy on TV at the moment (decathlon). And Witchy doesn't often find eye candy these days... (blimey, I've just noticed, he's 15 years younger than me...and comes from Canvey Island, ah... I may have to change my mind...)

Thought for the day

They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much.

- Malcolm Cowley

Briefly

Well, that's the last of the summer entertaining over.
Five weeks of non-stop visitors.
Over 70 in total.
Tired now.

ZZZzzzzz....

Leafing about

Thank you for calling...

Blue Witch is very busy.

Please call back later.

More Olympic Questions

Why are large female throwers being made to wear silly cropped tops? (*shudders*)

Why, in this day and age of amazing adhesives, are numbers still being pinned onto competitors? And what are they made of these days? (Mr BW says it's not the thick paper of my day as he's not seen a torn one, although I've seen plenty of creased ones)

Why are there so many empty portions in the athletics and rowing stadiums? (and I've checked that plural - it's only 'stadia' in an ancient sense, apparently)

Why do the BBC keep making viewers change channel? How many people can't get BBC1 and BBC2 these days? If we can, most of the country can, surely?

Why do I still get a major rush of adrenalin every time a track event gets to the 'set' position? (it's 23 years since I last competed in such an event)

Autographs

I wasn't ever allowed an autograph book like all the other kids in my primary school had. Mummy BW thought it was 'common' and encouraged kids to write rude things down. In retrospect I understand her position.

I suppose that's where my non-involvement in 'celebrity' and 'media' started. If I didn't have a book in which to get 'celebrities' I chased to write their names to confirm that I had seen them, what was the point in chasing after them?

Mr BW's niece of 10 turned up to the family BBQ a couple of weekends back with her new autograph book. Full of other kids inane scribbles it was. But, we laughed as we looked through it - all the old chestnuts that older family members had dragged out of their forgetteries.

And I realised that textspeak was actually invented, alive and well, in the 60's, when I was a Young Witch (or maybe a Witchlet? Yes, I like that term, I shall use it henceforth) when I saw:

2Ys UR
2Ys U B
I C U R
2Ys 4 ME

and

1 1 was a racehorse
2 2 was 1 2
1 1 1 1 race & 2 2 1 1 2

What other autograph book ditties do we remember?

Narrow minded broadband

Oooh look.

It seems that BT ADSL should be available at The Coven in 17 days time (thanks to Hanni for the link - and she's got some other excellent techie links on MT/WordPress/syndication up there for those of you who understand these things - 18th August - can't find the link).

I just rang the BT sales people.

"We have no information about that."

"Can you find out and ring me back then please?"

"No, we don't do that."

Thought for the day

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.

- Anton Chekhov

Customer Dis-Service

It's definitely one of those weeks...

You remember the lawn mower that fell apart (metal fatigue) on Monday evening? Haven't yet managed to find a replacement as of course nowhere has good stocks this time of year. And the lawn keeps growing.

Well, today the dishwasher (only 2 years and 4 months old - the last one lasted 13 years... they don't make 'em like they used to) has gone wrong (but Mr BW may be in the process of being able to mend it using his trusty glue gun to seal up the holes in the filter fabric that have led to the blocking of the spinners when the debris-laden water is recirculated), the fridge is dying (alternately freezing and thawing) - unsurprising considering the abuse it's taken recently - and my 8 month old phone has a knackered charger socket.

Having had a near argument with an operative in a French call centre, I availed myself of my consumer rights and demanded that the place from which I purchased the phone (which just happened to be 38 miles away) assume their legal obligations. I did not need to be met with a shrug of the shoulders and told that, "Most people just buy another when their handset goes wrong" when I spelt out the fact that, legally in the UK, I am entitled to a 12 month warranty, and that no, I didn't find it acceptable that it has to be sent off and will be away at least 2-3 weeks and there's nothing they can do about that.

Needless to say, I eventually left the Orange Shop with a free loan phone (albeit a crap one which only has a quarter of the memory of mine, so I had to delete half the info on my SIM card - but not before I'd made them copy it onto my Memory Mate, much to their disgust), and I put my deceased phone in the post to the repair centre myself, just to make sure it got sent this side of christmas. I cannot believe that they actually repair phones with problems like that. it just isn't economically viable. So why not just replace them at the point of sale? Oh, silly me, they want people to buy a new handset, and most people won't stand and demand their rights until they get them. More bloody fool them. If more of us did it, things would improve. I bet most people don't even know their legal rights in this kind of situation.

But, I think that Orange lost a fair few potential customers from that shop in the 70 minutes that they kept me waiting for Head Office to fax across a copy of my purchase document as required by the repair centre (I was originally told it would be 10 minutes maximum).

And, while I'm moaning, also nil points for customer service to Churchill Insurance who kept me hanging on the phone for 16 minutes to speak to an operative to renew an existing car insurance policy at 4.15pm this afternoon (hardly peak call time). If I'd had a quote that came within even £30 of their renewal price, they would not have got my renewal business. Stop spending millions on advertising for new business and spend a bit more on employing staff to answer the phones to keep the customers you already have Churchill.

Earlier in the week I promised you Old School Friend BW's story of demanding non-existent customer rights that is well, well, beyond anything I'd ever even dream about. So, here goes...

You'll remember that on Tuesday Old School Friend BW confessed to being somewhat sexually frustrated. Now, why she can't actually talk to her husband about why they haven't had sex for 18 months I was unable to determine. Never mind.

A couple of years ago, she told me, she bought herself a rabbit. Nothing wrong with that, I thought, I'm all for people solving their own problems (I sighed and thought a few other things too, but they're not repeatable here ;)). However. She said, "I didn't use it much really, and after 18 months it broke at a particularly inopportune moment. So I emailed the place that I got it from. They told me to send it back and they'd see what they could do. So, I sent it back and a week later they emailed to say that it had been well-used, but that as a gesture of goodwill they'd allow me £20 to use against a further purchase."

"That's amazing - after 18 months too - I doubt that even I would have complained had it had gone wrong within the year it legally has to be guaranteed. So, I presume you bought another?" I said.

"Oh no!" she replied, "I used the vouchers to buy a subscription to Playgirl." "And....?" I encouraged. "Oh, no 'and' at all, I just felt more frustrated than ever!"

I really couldn't make this stuff up...

Art for art's sake

Well, they've got a patch of BW Blue in Tate Modern I noticed on Tuesday (why hadn't I spotted that before?), so I thought I'd have one too.

BW Bonus Points for the artist, title and year of the original.
And for those of you who know me... there's a spooky connection.

Thought for the day

I wonder how many times you have to click 'next blog' at the top of a Blogger powered site before you find a blog that is either one you know, or links to one you know?

I scream

Another day of trying to keep Old Friend BW out of mischief in The Capital looms. Wish me luck.

So, no time to write anything sensible this morning (I'm grabbing 2 minutes while she's in the shower). Actually, I'm not sure that 'sensible' is a word that goes with the current content here, but.

Instead we'll have an ice cream day.

What's your favourite flavour?
Mine's stem ginger, as I may have mentioned earlier in the week.

Thought for the day

Biography lends to death a new terror.

- Oscar Wilde

Bookends

'kin' hell...

Old Friend BW and I do the Soane's Museum, Tate Modern, somewhere else I'm currently unable to remember, and about 20 miles of excess walking as she is sure she knows the way when she clearly doesn't.

During the day she has 3 spliffs (2 of them in Lincoln's Inn Fields) as she has just had 'fresh supplies' from her brother with whom she spent the night before. He's 40 and lives with two 23 year old women. I was feeling holier than her and declined to participate, but chose to sit downsmoke ;)

On the way back to The Coven on the tube she confides that she hasn't had sex for 18 months and is planning on leaving her husband in 8 years when she is 50 and their son is old enough to cope without her.

We finally get back to The Coven. She is currently in the process of seducing Mr BW. I wish her luck :)

But it makes me realise what a Lucky Witch I am...

Sporting chance

I hate sport. Well, of the watching type. Football - no. Cricket - no. Rugby - no. Almost anything else - no.

But I'm loving the Olympics.

I think it's because my attention span is not 90 minutes, but about 3.

Some thoughts:

Don't some of the commentators talk drivel? The same phrase repeated several times just to fill time.

If you're, say, a sprinter, you get about 20 seconds to prove yourself. If you're a hockey player you get 4 or 5 matches. Why?

When did the rules change so that professional sportspeople could take part? It used to be a game of amateurs. Yes, in these expensive times, I can understand the need for sponsorship, but there's a whole lot of difference between someone paying for an athlete's travel and lodging, and that person actually earning money from it.

And - who decides for which sports you can take your own equipment? You can take your own dinghy, horse, or table-tennis bat, but you don't take your own gym horse, javelin or high jump bar, do you? Why?

Off to buy a new wheelie bin to fill with iced water so I can climb in it to relieve my tired muscles when I've been swimming. The torture. Why?

Watch out for BW and Old Friend BW causing havoc in the capital today...

Thought for the day

There's a time for perfection, and ironing ain't it BW.

- Mr BW, 16 08 04

BW's mood - evening update

My mood has gone downhill.

Having a relaxing day is too tiring.

Then...

The lawnmower just died in the middle of cutting the lawn in a downpour (terminal bodywork fatigue, it is 9 and hasn't had a sheltered life). This time of year isn't the time of year to need to buy a new lawnmower. And I hate looking at long grass.

A dear lady I have known since I was -9 months died last night.

Which means that my mother, who was last seen or heard of storming out of The Coven on December 22nd, saw fit to send me an email informing me of said fact, and will no doubt think that she can come and stay en route to the funeral, and will, no doubt, as last time (when she chose not to speak to us for three and a half years after we got married abroad, so spoiling her plans for the wedding of her dreams) act as if she only spoke to us yesterday. I've got news for her. It ain't gonna happen. It's just... how to tell her...

And... as if all that wasn't bad enough... I had to do housework, because Old Friend BW is staying tomorrow night. As it is Cleaner BW's birthday today, I wasn't mean enough to ask her if she'd change her day to cope with this eventuality, as I normally would. How did it take me as long as it takes her to do the whole house just to Dyson the downstairs and clean the bathroom?

BW's mood

I was feeling very stressed back in May and June. I hate paperwork, and I wasn't coping well with getting it processed. Things were hanging over me and I was doing everything possible to prolong the agony by not just getting on and doing it. I've always had this problem; it's a pattern that I've spent 16 years building up, and there seems to be no way round it. And it's got a whole lot worse since the advent of BW.

In order to give myself some space to sort out the mess of over-paperification that The Inner Coven has become, and to make some time to rethink a few things in my life that need re-thinking, I did a deal with myself about not taking on any new work in August. Then I broke that deal as someone asked me to do something that if I didn't do it, no-one else would/could, and the lives of one child, his sister and his parents would continue in uncertainty in a far-off remote land. That sounds so precious put like that. But the very reason I did what I was asked is because I think there are far too many people within professions/organisations trying to be restrictive and precious with information that, if shared, and explained, can improve the world on a piece-by-piece basis. And, I long ago worked out that that was the only way that little old me was going to have any kind of positive effect on this world.

Anyway, I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this, other than to say that my desk is finally clear of other people's stuff, so I can start sorting out my own.

Which is why I have booked today for another day like last Monday, tomorrow and Wednesday for time with Old Friend BW who is coming down to London to 'do' everything arty that the Capital has to offer (apparently!), and invited Good Friends BW, our once-next-door-but-one neighbours, up for the weekend.

Which gives me precisely no time to sort anything of a paper nature out.
Excellent :)

But, I have just about got time to do a couple of spells to get e safely back to our shores, and Mr Piggy's blog back online. The idiot's broken it. Having several new blog children to look after is obviously all too much for him... (and, if you've met them, you'll understand why. Poor Mr Piggy) :)

Thought for the day

Serenity is active. It is a gentle and firm participation with trust. It is a relaxation of our cells into who we are and a quiet celebration of that relaxation.

- desk calendar

Witches like...

Quiet beaches, pebbles, large fish and chip lunches, pints of nice cider, stem ginger ice cream, sleeping on beaches in the sun, clotted cream teas, purple heather, Mr BW.

Had all those today :)

Fireworks

I always knew that one day they'd invent a point and shoot camera that could do fireworks without a tripod :)

Last night was the first opportunity to try it out.

Most interesting what you learn about your next-door-but-one-neighbours when you get to meet up with some of their work colleagues :)

Off to the seaside today.

Misread

Since the middle of the night between Wednesday and Thursday I've been totally deaf in my left ear. On Wednesday night when I went to bed, I was in full possession of my usual unusually acute hearing, and felt absolutely fine. Sometime in the 5 hours between then and when next I awoke, something happened. I've no idea what.

So disconcerted was I that I dashed along to the doctors' on Thursday morning. Only to find that, as ever, it was Useless Doctor taking the emergencies. No-one ever actually asks to see him, so he does all the things the other partners don't want to. Including seeing annoying people like me who insist that they need to be seen urgently. It transpired that I knew more about hearing problems than he did (well, I should, I once had that as a specialist role). He wrote down 'Nerve deafness, temp??' and told me to 'Come back on Tuesday if it's no better.' He looked concerned (and I almost think that if I'd been able, I'd have heard him whisper, "And for goodness sake see someone else as I haven't a clue") but I was reassured that it wasn't an infection from the swimming pool where I've been almost every day for the past 2 weeks.

However, since I've not been able to hear on that side. I've also been misreading lots of things.

A sort of inverse scenario of the one where, when I've not got my eyes either in, or on, I can't hear properly.

Earlier, I misread a line here as "then gay life happened in a stable" (that was shortly after I'd racked my brain to think what someone who ended up here on a search for 'gaydar voucher' could possibly have been after - I still haven't a clue, but no doubt someone will enlighten me). Yesterday I misread a line somewhere else. But I won't go into that as the person concerned might be offended.

A couple of hours ago, having finished extracting another 400lbs of honey, I just went for a quick swim, only to discover the steam room contained 2 men with no clothes on.

Now, there aren't single-sex sessions there, and I think it's quite offensive for either men, or women to strip off completely under such circumstances. The thing is, as the sauna and steam room are right next to the swimming pool, they must have gone in there with some sort of swim-wear on, and removed it. I don't think they were up to anything, so I don't think that I misread that situation.

I just raised my eyebrows in a perfected-over-many-years-of-dealing-with-problem-children type way, sat down with a squelch (I'd love to know how people in wet costumes manage to sit down silently, because I just can't do it), and shared their steamy air for 15 minutes. I think they really wanted to get out before then, but were too embarrassed to put their trunks back on to so do.

I spent the time that I held them captive thinking about what I should have said.

Maybe, "Do you need a judge?" or, "Hope I'm not interrupting anything?" or, "Oh dear!" or even, "Were you aware that the rules of this club require clothes in the steam room?"

Anyone else misread anything recently? Or have any better ideas about what I should have done/said to the nude blokes?

Opening Night

What a fabulous Olympic Torch in Athens! And the fireworks! (magic, but how much did they cost?)

Glad I saw the Olympic Flame as it came through London. I just wonder how many times it went out between here and there though.

Did anyone actually manage to watch the opening ceremony all the way through?

Probably too difficult a question for Friday afternoon

When does an interest become a hobby, become an obsession, become a ritual and then a stereotypical response?

Olympics

The official site is here. Other pages of interest (ie that I need to click on occasionally so I'll stick the links up here so I don't lose them) are here and here.

The mascots are unbelievable (or is it just me? ;)).
"Phevos and Athena, the official ATHENS 2004 mascots, are brother and sister. Their creation was inspired by an ancient Greek doll and their names are linked to Ancient Greece, yet the two siblings are children of modern times.

The names are of two Olympian gods: Phevos, the god of light and music, known as Apollo; and Athena, goddess of wisdom and patron of the city of Athens. Phevos and Athena represent the link between Greek history and the modern Olympic Games."

"Within the 28 sports included in the Olympic Games, there are 27 disciplines" it says in one of the links at the top. Whatever that means. I was trying to find a complete list of events, on one page, but failed. There are 301 medal ceremonies though, so, presumably at least 301 different activities. An index of the sports is here, and a timetable of events (and later, results) is here.

I shall be watching most of the track athletics, some of the swimming, some of the sailing and even less of the gymnastics. All sports I've participated in to some degree in the past. What about you?

Thought for the day

Memory....
tempers prosperity,
mitigates adversity,
controls youth,
and delights old age.

- Lactantius

New Dress

Thank you to whoever it was who just sent me this link (didn't recognise you from the email addy, sorry, and didn't want to upset the Constabulary Bosses by replying to you directly).

Unfortunately, being a 69" Witch, I can't fit into a 46" or 50" version... But, it is perfect, you're right.

And I particularly like the text in the green box, and the yellow box under it ;)

Take your chances

Yesterday I was at a Nice Ladies' Summer Event. A ploughman's lunch in the charming garden of one of our member's thatched cottage. Luckily the rain held off.

As ever, my group of Trainee Witches from the recent course wanted to tell me about their latest d0ws1ng successes, which, it has to be said, were fairly spectacular, and if I didn't know better, I'd think they were making things up to please teacher.

One very elderly lady who doesn't often get to meetings these days hadn't heard about what had been happening, and asked me to explain. She half-listened, then snorted derisively, "Well, I'll only believe it if you can prove it to me."

"Sorry," I said, with a smile, "but I don't feel the need to prove things to anyone these days, myself included."

I then went off to talk to someone else, but I couldn't concentrate on what she was saying as something was running through my mind. Or, more correctly, trickling through my mind, like it was coming in slowly, from elsewhere, and I couldn't quite work out what it was. I turned round to find my Most Successful Trainee Witch to date looking encouragingly at me and smirking. "Let's give the doubting old dear a surprise," she said.

Now, I have very strict rules about what I will and won't d0wse, and usually don't even ask for permission to d0wse for anything that is against my own code of morality and ethics. Taunting old ladies, whether or not they were, at that very moment in time, taking the piss out of my Powers less than 10 yards away from me, would usually be a no-no. But... I caught the old lady's eye and she looked acutely uncomfortable as she was clearly deep in discussion with another non-believer about what a fraud I was, and I thought... well, perhaps you need to start believing in energies as you're 93 now and probably nearer to the next life than me.

So, Most Successful Trainee Witch and I went off to a quiet spot. We hatched a plan. Well, she came up with it and I grudgingly, at first, went along with it. We asked for, and got, permission to d0wse for something. Quite harmless, but something.

We made a list of all the people there (24 in total), and we then asked who would win the raffle prizes, by going through each person in the list. We came up with 5 names, which was weird as there were 6 prizes. We then ranked the list, from 1 to 5 (first to fifth ticket out).

I wasn't really surprised when we were correct. Although everyone else (including, it has to be said, Most Successful Trainee Witch) was flabbergasted.

And the reason we could only get 5 winners? The first lady to win also came out as the sixth winner. Although she then asked for the ticket to be redrawn.

I don't think that our 93 year old disbeliever will be doubting The Power of Witch again...

And me - well, I understand that I'm now even more of a legend in my own lunchtime around the village than I was before...

(Update: just had to nip into the 10-mile away town to see a doctor - he enquired about my services having heard about me, in church (he lives in the village), he said... oh gawd, what have I started here?)

Girlie freebies

Free Lancome mascara (but trial size - only 1.5ml) - you just need to give a name and e-mail address (which don't have to be real) to get to the 'print the coupon (redeemable at any Lancome stockist)' page.

Free Clinique lipstick. This is a direct link through to the 'print the voucher (redeemable in Boots with Clinique counters)' page (no need to register). And it's a full size (worth £11) summer-neutral colour.

Thought for the day

The world is dividided into 2 sorts of people: those who are desperate to fit in and think they look really cool in vastly overpriced designer clothes, and those who laugh at them for being such mugs (which of course includes the manufacturers).

- Pob 11.08.04

The Aldi Story (continued from below)

Actually, If you follow this tale through the comments box at DG and the comments box on the post below, I've not got many new points left to make! But, I'm going to tell the tale anyway as I am constantly dismayed by the snobbish way in which many people judge supermarkets in this country. And I suspect that there are many who've read the first part of this tale below and not wanted to put what they really thought about Aldi, or the people who they think shop there, in the comments...

Somewhere around 10 or 11 years ago I visited Brother BW who was, at that time, living in Dusseldorf. As ever with him, he hadn't been shopping in anticipation of his guests, so our first task was to pile into his ancient vehicle, avoiding the hole in the floor, and head off to somewhere to buy food. "You're not going to like this Sister BW," he said, "but we're going to a pile it high and sell it cheap place because it's just about the only supermarket that's open on a Saturday afternoon in this town. But the sheets of cheese are nice. So no moaning, right?"

And so began my acquaintance with Aldi. No free carrier bags, no paying by credit card, coin release trolleys, no pretty shelving, no customer toilets with free nappies for babies. But, Brother BW was right, I was impressed by the cheese. And the fruit juice, if I recall correctly. And we were in and out in no time.

A few years passed. I noticed that a few Aldi shops had crept into the UK. But, being a contented Sainsbury's shopper, and a 60++ hour a week professional career woman, I didn't ever consider going in them.

In late summer 1997, I'd been off work for 6 months, and so went onto half-pay. At that time I was earning more than Mr BW, so this cut in our income was hugely concerning, particularly as it was looking more and more likely that I wouldn't be well enough to resume full-time work in the forseeable future. We were two years into a mortgage that was bigger than we should sensibly have taken on, and had several thousand pounds worth of credit card debt (which, even then, I bounced from card to card to avoid interest) that had built up as we rebuilt and developed the house.

I was also very agoraphobic, and rarely went out. Shopping was hard, and something I only ever did when I knew the local town would be quiet, on weekdays, during school hours. On a good day, I could just about make it into the small local Sainsbury's. I would grab as much shopping as I could before I began feeling panicky, and, provided there was no hold-up at the till, could usually just about cope with getting through the checkouts and out to the car before I really started hyperventilating, sweating and trembling. Panic attacks are something that cannot be explained to someone who is fortunate enough never to have experienced them.

Autumn 1997 came, and our 3 new-that-year hives of buzzy stripey friends required their winter feed. I needed to get 40 bags of sugar for them. I got to the sugar counter in Sainsbury's, saw that it had gone up 10p per bag, worked out the cost and began to panic. Maybe it was the total cost that scared me (I was still in my 'oh my god how are we going to afford to live if I can't work full-time?' mode then), or maybe it was just the usual panic-when-in-a-crowded-place reaction, I don't know now. Whatever, I left the rest of my shopping and ran for the car, knocking over a display of biscuits in my haste to dodge people and escape.

After that, I went home and was laying on the sofa trying to get calm when the phone rang. At that time I wasn't brave enough to ever answer until I heard who it was. As it was someone I knew well, I picked up the phone, and explained what had happened and that I needed to get 40 bags of sugar at a reasonable price. She suggested that a new Aldi store that had just opened locally might be a good place.

And it was. The sugar was 26 pence per bag cheaper than it was in Sainsbury's. Then, there was a 10 per item per visit limit on what you could buy, so I went round 4 times to get my 40 bags.

The buzzy friends devoured more syrup than we expected, so I made another trip to Aldi the next week. While heading for the sugar counter, I noticed that sweetcorn was 15p a can cheaper than Sainsbury's, and tinned tomatoes were only 7p. I looked a bit further and found flour for 11p a bag and cotton buds for 39p a box. And bleach for 22p.

Suspending my incredulity at the prices, I decided that there was nothing to be lost by trying a few things.

And we were delighted with the quality. I'd found a shop that was true Value!

So, what started with a chance visit for a few bags of sugar soon turned into a way of saving a lot of money on standard items. And, even when our financial position improved enormously, I've never looked back.

OK, so I'm choosy about what I buy, but I can honestly say that I don't think I have ever bought anything that wasn't at least as good as Sainsbury's own brand.

Many of Aldi's products fare better than the 'top brands' in magazine 'taste tests'. And many things are less than a half of the price in Sainsbury's. The cheeses remain one of my favourites - their Parmesan - the 'proper' Parmigiano Reggiano is £3 per kilo less than in Sainsbury's, and the superb squidgy mozzarella is 59p for 200g. Sparkling water is 18p for 2 litres, tomato puree 25p a large tube, cashews 69p a packet.... Then there are regular special purchases on garden fertilisers, tools, computers and computer peripherals, paintbrushes etc.

Generally items are less packaged than in other supermarkets, which suits my environmental position, and as you have to pay for carrier bags, most people either take their own or pick up empty cardboard boxes on the way round (which can then be recycled).

The store I use most is always spotlessy clean, the staff are bright, fast and polite (after training they are paid £7.65 an hour (including bonus) c.f. £5.40 in Tesco's or Sainsbury's), all staff undertake all tasks, so have greater job satisfaction, and there are real opportunities for rapid career progression.

Stores are managed on a regional basis by an Area Manager, who is responsive to customer feedback (as I have found on several occasions). There is never a problem if you take an item back (they often have electrical goods very cheaply on the Thursday specials - if it goes wrong within a year, you take it back with your receipt and they give you your money back, often without even checking the product over).

And, as the local Aldi is within spitting distance of the most expensive new development in this area (houses in the last phase went for £800K - £1.2M), it is amazing how many of the Range Rover brigade are to be found among their clientele.

Not long ago I happened to mention at a Nice Ladies' Committee Meeting that I bought many of my basics at Aldi, as well as shopping at Sainsbury's (and bulk-buying at Costco). Many of the group already knew this, and understood my philosophy, but one new lady to the group looked aghast and said, "But BW, surely you don't need to shop there... you always give the impression of... well, affluence...?" (I could read what was going through her head that she was trying desperately not to articulate lest she cause offence). "Oh but I do," I replied, "because I object to feeding the Directors and shareholders of the larger supermarkets large proportions of the money I spend feeding myself." I explained my philosophy and repeated much of what I've written above. "Oh my dear," she continued, "good for you, but I just couldn't bring myself to shop there." I smiled.

But I laughed when I saw her in the local Aldi a couple of weeks ago. "Changed your mind have you Alice?" I joked. She had the decency to look embarrased. "Well, anything that's good enough for you BWs is good enough for me."

I find it really sad that some people miss out on a bargain by being too snobby to actually try it and see. I reckon I save about £1,000 a year on the food and non-food items I buy for the two of us and the garden.

Store locator is here.

The Aldi Story

As I travel round blogland, I often find derogatory comments made about what are perceived by many as the places not to shop. In talking to people I know, I hear similar comments.

DG's supermarket survey results confirm my perception of people's perceptions.

Indeed, even I subscribed (briefly) to this idea and laughed a couple of months ago when a rag mag we picked up on the tube on the way back from a day out contained an image consisting of a Lidl logo with the caption, "When you're too pikey for Iceland".

However, later (when I get back from where I'm going), I shall tell you a story about why I have absolutely no problem with doing some of my shopping in Aldi.

For now, a question - have you ever been in a branch of Aldi? Have you ever bought anything there, and what did you think of it? (NB though, I'm talking Aldi here, not Lidl).

Thought for the day

He who is firm and resolute in will moulds the world to himself.

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Weird Phenomenon

This partial scrap of rainbow was spotted high up in the sky above The Coven on Sunday afternoon. At the time it was 36 degrees, and brilliant sunshine. It only started raining at 06:30 on Monday morning.

No-one present (and the total age was 630 years) had ever seen anything like it before.

Tuesday trivia

Last night, as we sat outside and drank wine as the rain beat on the canvas gazebo roof and dripped down my neck, we decided that the weather at The Coven since Sunday has been just like that in a tropical rainforest. Well, it's like the weather up in Northern Queensland was when we were there in early February anyway. Hot, humid, muggy, interspersed with torrential rain.

Yesterday was our 9th anniversary of moving into The Coven. It's weird, how time goes on. The first 3 or 4 years went by slowly as we painstakingly reworked the whole place, spending every spare second, and every spare penny, working at one thing or another. Then came a couple of years of less frantic projects, and then time somehow passed until we got to 9 years yesterday. It's the longest I've ever lived anywhere. And it's still not finished as, two years from when I first started looking, I still haven't found a good enough carpenter/joiner to make a new back door, or the French windows from our bedroom (don't worry, it is on the ground floor...) that I've finally talked Mr BW into in the past few days.

*giggles at private joke about people being less observant than they'd like to think they are. 5 days eh? ;)*

Meanwhile, over at DG, your presence is requested to rank order supermarkets. I've probably already messed it up by using the order I'd spend my money in them if they were in a row in a high street, because I have a problem with second-guessing general perception. Still, the results will make interesting reading tomorrow.

Thought for the day

The world is but a canvas to our imagination.

- Henry David Thoreau

Today I have...

...continued the BW de-stress, re-energise and re-group August Campaign started last week.

Which meant 45 minutes of pilates, 45 minutes of aqua-aerobics, too long in the jacuzzi in the vain hope that my muscles wouldn't ache, an hour of meditation CD (during which I fell asleep at least twice), and two hours of relaxing beading (Dino Features - I've finally got round to that project I mentioned a while ago when you put up your lovely pics :))

And I'm kidding myself that I'm doing this to keep my 70 year old friend company. She's managing better than me! I have a sneaky suspicion that there was more than a bit of deviousness involved in her "Oh BW, I do so want to do this, I do so need to get more mobility back into my arm after my accident, but I don't want to go alone" plan. Still, I'll forgive her, as I do admit to feeling better for it already.

New Arrivals

I get the impression that some of you didn't like the 'death' picture below :) So, by contrast I now give you 'life'.

Baby D'Ove 9 & 10 are now somewhere between 7 and 10 days old. Hard to believe that such ugly babies turn into such beautiful adults. And, don't worry, Blanche (Mummy D'Ove) trusts us and is quite happy for us to handle them, even when they are that small.


I make no comment about the state of Mr BW's fingernails. 11 and a half years I've been commenting on that, and it's got me nowhere...

Thought for the day

Read no history: nothing but biography, for that is life without theory.

- Benjamin Disraeli

Another Day, another BBQ

"Auntie Blue Witch?"

"Yes Nephew BW?"

"The Ginger Familiar is eating her tea!"

"Well, Nephew BW, you've had a nice meal haven't you, why shouldn't she?" (*thinks* and you had more chocolate meringue gateau than Elsie, dave and Mr BW put together did last weekend, and once again there's none left...)

"Auntie BW?"

"Yes Niece BW?"

"The Ginger Familiar is being really revolting, she's cuddling her dinner and licking its ears. And there's blood coming out of its eyes!"

"Yes, OK, Niece BW. Could you go and see if there's any wine left in that bottle over there, and if so, bring it over for me?"

"But Auntie BW, come and see, the heads over there and the tail's over there!"

And it was...

Note to self

Make the Pimm's weaker tomorrow than it was last week.
Drunk old folks aren't appealing.

Keep Mr BW away from this week's chocolate meringue gateau.
We don't want a repeat of last week.

Remember the French dressing and tomato sauce this week.

It's still 33 degrees here.

The Make Blue Witch Laugh Award

Sometime back in June, I made a conscious decision not to take on any new work during the whole of the school summer holidays this year.

I needed to make myself some time to do some of the things I enjoy that I have been neglecting - like swimming, and painting, and other craft things, and meeting up with a few people I haven't seen for ages.

I'm managing all of these, but, because I'm out, I'm not at my PC, so I'm not reading around and about nearly as much as I normally do (I bribe myself to get paperwork completed - 30 minutes report writing, 10 minutes blogging (well, OK, let's be honest here, it's often 30 minutes report writing and 30 minutes blogging).

I didn't have time to post the MBWLA last week, and I am in a similar position this week as we have Mr BW's extended family here for a BBQ tomorrow. So, rather than half-do a job (which I hate - in fact, as with everything, I'd rather not do something at all than do it badly) I'm going to suspend the MBWLA until September. I am still copy and pasting funnies into my usual file, and I will put up a Summary August MBWLA at the end of the month. It's just that it takes ages to code and check the links to the Award every week, and I just feel that I'd prefer to concentrate the time that I want to put into BW over the summer on writing rather than coding.

And, yes billy, before you ask (I saw you speculating the other day :)), as you had the last trophy awarded, that does mean you get to keep it in your trophy cabinet until the end of the month :) Make sure you polish it regularly, won't you?

On the box

We were both completely out of energy last night, so, unusually for a summer month evening, we actually watched some TV.

BBC2 had another programme from the same stable (I think) as Grumpy Old Men. This time, "What I wish I'd known when I was 20". There were contributions from John Peel, Tony Benn (the one politician I'd really love to meet, he's just got better and better as he's got older), Elliott Gould, Mary Quant, Joan Bakewell, George Melly (let's not mention his confessed sexual experience with a trout he once caught ;)), John Mortimer, Joan Rivers (just how much as her perfectly expressionless face cost?), Ranulph Fiennes, and Mo Mowlam.

Some interesting insights, and some excellent quotes, one of which I've already used as today's TFTD.

That got me thinking.
What things do I wish I'd known at 20?

I still haven't quite worked it out, but it would include something about trusting my gut instinct to cut my losses and walk away as soon as I felt I should, rather than keep on trying (in every kind of situation), not feeling guilty for not liking my family, and that peace of mind is a state worth attaining, no matter what one has to go through to get to it.

We also caught BB5 for the first time in several weeks. Strangely, nothing seems to have happened since we last watched it... I can't help wondering what beneficial projects could have been accomplished had everyone put the hours they've spent watching that for the last - how many? - 12? 13? - weeks into something constructive.

Anyway, the only one of them I could actually bear to spend an evening with would be Dan, so Dan is my winner. He has a level of understanding of both himself, and group dynamics, that I think most of the others will never attain.

Today's caption competition

Value Witch

Here's what I do with old broomsticks:

Chop them up and bang them into the lawn. Nice game of quoits for the price of a few dog rings (£1.05 each in a local pet shop). Much cheaper than ready-made versions, if you can find them (I saw one for £39.99 the other day). If you don't have old broomsticks around, you can get new ones in builders' merchants for around £1.50-£2.00 (slightly more in the DIY sheds).

Holland & Barrett currently have some essential oils on amazing offer (including lavender - 20ml, usual price £6.29, for £2.19). I don't usually buy my aromatherapy oils from them as they tend to sell blended oils rather than pure oils (watch the boxes), but the lavender is fine. Lots of vitamins and minerals are also on half price (details here). Offers end August 12th.

Boots currently have an in-store offer for printing off digital images. Provided you have at least 50, 6"x4" prints are 10p per print (5p if you want a second set), and 7"x5" are 15p. 24 hour service. But...I took 6 CDs with nearly 800 2MB files in yesterday and it took over an hour for them to be downloaded into the system, so take a book.... There's no end-date on the offer, yet.

Thought for the day

Wrinkles are the medals you collect in the battle that is life.

- John Peel

Caption competition

Pudding

Mr BW downloaded the pics from the weekend before he went to work this morning. All 131 of them. Most of them were taken by Gargoyle Elsie the Official Photographer, who did a marvellous job. Apart from a few that weren't. Here's the first offering that I suspect wasn't:

I've had calls for the recipe. I'm not sure if it's going to be made available or not. I'm not sure if I'm going to protect your cholesterol levels or not. We'll see.

And I'm open to bribes for sight of the more interesting ones, of which there are several ;)

Mail problems

Finally, NThelL appear to have sorted out their email server problem and things are now getting through again, although everything that I haven't received since the end of last week appears not to have been stored up for onward transmission, so presumably joins the cyber junk that will circle forever.

I think I've now replied to everything I've received that needs a reply, so if you haven't got a reply to something that you've sent that you thought needed a reply, then please resend it, and I'll reply to it. If that makes sense. I'm not sure it does to me.

But, I had a Weird Witchy feeling and found that I'd accidentally blocked Gargoyle Elsie. Presumably my mouse slipped while I was creating a 'delete from server without downloading mail' rule for some pornographic spam. Sorry m'dear.

Scared

The Daleks will be back after all.

I wonder how much that deal cost the BBC?

I'll be watching, upstairs.

(link nicked from drD)

Thought for the day

As for the future, your task is not to forsee it, but to enable it.

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Wednesday evening

It's still nearly 27 degrees here.

I've just finished watering and am now going to go and float, naked, in my paddling pool.

And make Mr BW feed me chilled white wine through a straw.

Food glorious food?

It's 36.9 degrees at The Coven.

By contrast, yesterday, although there was no rain here, I was trapped on the M25 for ages in torrential rain, floods and thunderstorms, getting to Gerrards Cross. It did an inch and a half in an hour in a town near there.

Nevertheless it was great to see Old School Friend BW for the first time in 4 years, and her mum and step-dad for the first time in 22. As OSF BW had her nearly 6-year old with her we were reduced to eating in a Harvester in the evening. I have *never* had such awful food. Obviously cooked the day before and reheated jacket potaoes, peas that had been cooked for 2 hours minimum, tomatoes and lettuce that were dried up and shrivelled round the edges, and salad dressings with congealed skin on them. I felt like taking swabs to submit to environmental health for bacteria counts.

OSF BW wasn't impressed, and asked, "What do you think of the food BW?" "Er, I've got leftovers from the weekend in my fridge in much better condition OSF BW," I said, "and actually, I've got stuff on the compost heap that inadvertently got left out overnight on Saturday due to excessive consumption, that is debatably still in better condition." I didn't pick up the bill, as OSF BW's step-father insisted. Luckily because I wouldn't have paid it had I got to it first...

Are all chain restaurants of this genre this bad? I just never go in them, so I have no yardstick.

However, just now, on returning from a day with Good Friend BW doing something that I totally cannot understand, and about which I may speak later, I have just discovered half a piping bag of cream in the fridge. That is definitely only fit for disposal. I hate the smell of gone-off milk/cream almost as much as I hate the smell of rotting cabbage or rotting potatoes.

I was going to ask what your worst gone-off food smell is, but now I'm thinking better of it as it's getting near dinner time...

Thought for the day

A judicious reticence is hard to learn, but it is one of the great lessons of life.

- Philip Dormer Chesterfield

Tuesday

Oh dear.
The weekend is still in my system.
Totally exhausted and feeling that it was all a dream.
It was, wasn't it?

But today I am walking away from it and from my nasty virus-ridden PC. Well, I don't think it is still virusy - thanks for all the ideas, I've tried them all - but in my mind it now is. It's like cars, and other mechancial things. Once they've gone wrong once I don't trust them again.

So, today, I'm off to earn some pennies, then off to Gerrards Cross to see a very old school friend who I've not seen for 4 or 5 years. She's down south visiting her parents, and I am really, really, looking forwrd to seeing her. Just one problem. I have lost the piece of paper on which I wrote her parents' address. And she isn't answering her phone, either last night or this morning. Damn. Hope she picks up the messages soon...

Thought for the day

Anger is usually the flipside of helplessness.

- Eliana Gil

Help!

Despite updating Norton AntiVirus and running another full system check earlier, weird things are still happening on my PC.

When connecting and going to my home page (which is BW) I've just had a little grey window pop up saying "Messenger Service, suspicious activity has been reported from this computer. Please visit www.winclean.com."

Now, I don't have any messenger services, but I clearly still have something deep inside... I can't get hold of Little Computer Man at the moment and don't know what to do.

Any suggestions please?

Update: I've scanned again and this time it found an email infected by W32.Netsky.P@mm virus (which I think was the one that attacked on Saturday - and should already have been cleaned off). Goodness knows why it didn't find that on the previous 2 occasions. And goodness knows how it released itself because I never open attachments... As there are well over a thosand email addresses in my address book, there must be some very pissed off people that I know around... and the risk that people I'd rather didn't find BW now do. Shit.

Blue Moon, The Aftermath

*feels very lonely*

I appear to have no incoming email. Messages that I know were sent on Friday haven't reached me, and I've had only 3 items into all my accounts (and not even any spam) since Saturday afternoon. And I don't know if anything I've sent out today has got there...

I guess it's got something to do with the virus (whose name I can't even remember now, such is the fug of tiredness in my head today) my PC somehow contracted on Saturday lunchtime, just as everyone was arriving, and just after my poor ill Hen Familiar had expired of old age. My first ever brush with a virus on my machine in 6 years on-line. Somehow it got past Norton that, thinking about it, stopped auto-updating last week. Although I had manually updated it on Wednesday.

Would whoever took my magic wand away and caused this problem so that I was forced to beg for a g-mail account having said that I saw absolutely no point in having one, please return it? Wands can be very dangerous in the wrong hands, and just because you can d0wse, doesn't necessarily mean that you can do spells. Hopefully :)

And I just went swimming at the new pool place I joined last Thursday and forgot to take any underwear so I couldn't go into town after as I'd planned. I'm wandering around like a drugged zombie. The wasps are eating all the ripe plums that we didn't get around to picking over the weekend. The Ginger Familiar is missing her new friends and is being a miaowy pain and getting under my feet at every turn.

I want to write about the weekend, but I can't because I can barely string 3 words together. Sleep deprivation caused manic hyperactivity which has now led to severe malaise. As usual. I just never learn.

It was a fabulously hot day and, after all the nastiness in various parts of blogland just recently, it was wonderful to have lots of friendly bloggers at The Coven, and to find that everyone got on really well. For now, I just want to say thank you to you all for coming, and for all the lovely things you brought with you. Apart from the beefburgers and sausages that were left in the fridge, of course ;)

And particular thanks to those who came early and stayed late for all their help in getting everything ready and then cleared up afterwards. But, most of all, thank you to Mr BW who knows when I've overdone it and just quietly and happily gets on and does everything that needs doing, without complaint. And no boys and girls (you know who you are ;)), he's mine ;)

And sorry for forgetting to get any tomato sauce. My cooking isn't generally so bad that it's needed at The Coven. I've never seen such blackened lumps of dead animal. I'm sure it was his fault. Made me very glad I don't partake :)

So... for now, I'll just send you off to have a click round the blogs of the 15 uppermost Familiars. All of them were invited, some of them chose to leave the country, or be otherwise engaged, rather than risk being BWitched (and who can blame them? :)), and some of them were scared that I'd turn them into newts if they wrote anything, so you'll have to look carefully... (and when I've had a chance to look properly, I'll put up the links, because what I've seen so far is very amusing :)).

*goes back to bed*

Blue Moon, Part 5

BW a