Blue Witch

I wasn't going to post again this year..

...but then something happened that has so outraged and upset me that I just have to. Need to get this out of my head...

Went into Local Small Market Town earlier to get some broad bean seeds (Mr BW has been busy clearing and manuring veggie land and broad beans can be started now under cloches for an early crop) and some storage boxes as I've hatched this great plan to sort out all the FOTCR™ decorations, once and for all. Well... that's the plan...

Nipped into Sainsbury's to spend my regulation £4 to get 2 hours free parking. Was delighted to hear a tannoy anouncement that all Sainsbury's throughout the country had put collecting buckets for the tsunami disaster fund on every till. In the last day, that small branch alone had collected over £2,500.

Got to the till and waited behind a very rough-looking woman and her 9 or 10 year old boy. She paid and started to walk away. Son behind her, and just in front of me, reached into the collecting bucket and helped himself to a handful of coins. Without consciously processing anything, I grabbed his arm on its way to his pocket.

He shouted, she turned round and, without stopping to evaluate the situation, told me to, "F*ing let go of me boy!"

He was struggling by this time, but I am strong, and trained in restraint of children (don't ask), and I shouted at the young lad on the till to ring for security. Before he'd done that, security arrived, and I explained, sort-of to him, and sort-of to the woman, why I had grabbed the boy.

"Let him go!" the security man said to me. "And you put the money back in the bucket," he said to the boy thief. The boy gave me a filthy look, bettered only by the abuse coming from his mother's mouth, and began to slouch away.

"Aren't you going to do anything more?" I said, incredulously, to the security guard. "Take him out the back and give him a talking to? Or even call the police and let them do it?" In the background the mother was ranting at me and telling me that I should have minded my f*ing business and that she didn't see what the problem was anyway.

The security guard shrugged and told me there would be no point, and that it wouldn't make any difference. Maybe not, I thought, but if he'll steal money from a disaster fund collection then where will it end? If someone doesn't have a go at making him understand, then my guess is prison won't be far away. But not until he's 18 - which is 8 or 9 years down the line. Hmmm. That's a lot of crime that will be commited in Local Small Market Town.

I was so stunned that I didn't do what I'd normally do and insist on speaking to the Manager. Rest assured that I will next time I'm in there. I don't think that security guard was doing the job he was being paid to do. Do you?

I also don't know what the rules are on citizens' arrests on children... I suspect that I'd probably have ended up in more trouble than the boy if I'd refused to let him go. *sighs*

And the reason I'm so incensed by this? There's nothing at all I can do to help out there, other than give money. But I can stop people stealing what others have given to the cause. That's my bit. It's all I can do. It's not enough, but I can do it. And I'd do it again, in the same circumstances.

Is there anyone else who wouldn't have turned a blind eye to a child stealing from a disaster appeal collecting bucket?

The last day of the year

I feel that I should be all reflective and stuff.

But, I don't feel like being.

Neither do I make New Year's Resultions, as I've said before (in my very first post actually, and this time last year too), so I can't tell you about those either.

So I'll just wish you all a Very Happy New Year instead :)

Oh dear. It's happened again.

Yesterday afternoon I found a fantastic way to get The Coven tidied up and get myself showered and dressed in record time (up to that point I was having another Lazy Witch day).

Phone rang at 5.15pm just as I was finally finishing off the huge cushion covers (those zips have been real swines to put in) and Mr BW had the entire year's worth of souvenirs (tickets, programmes, scraps of paper etc) spread over the floor ready to file into the running record of our life together that he updates over every FOTCR™ break.

Old friend (well, old ex-) wanted to pop in on his way to his parents for New Year, with his girlfriend, who we'd not met before.

There followed frantic dashing around, pulling out of hair and howling with despair that nothing would be tidy in time. From me. So Mr BW fed me alcohol and put me in the shower to shut me up. And then, in the 4 minutes I was abluting, somehow managed to get everything that we'd got scattered everywhere ship-shape and out of eyes-reach (yes, I like that expression much better than 'out of sight').

They arrived, we chatted, drank mulled wine and nibbled nibbly things. Ex- and Mr BW commiserated with each other that I'd not changed my Impatient Witch and Perfectionistic Witch habits in nearly 15 years. AKA took the piss. But, it turned out that ex-s girlfriend was just as bad and grumpy a traveller as me, so ex- obviously hadn't learnt.

And then the dreadful news came out.

It emerged that it has happened again.

I can now confirm that every single one of my ex-s, bar one, is now either gay, bisexual or seriously religious.

I don't know what I do to them.
But I think that I should come with a lifestyle warning ;)

Disasters, human rights abuses, and poverty , are for life, not just for Christmas

I'm going to be controversial this morning.

And it's not because I'm unsympathetic. It's because I care. All the time. Not just when The Media decree that I should be made to care in a low-news period between FOTCR™ and New Year.

Yes, the tsunami in south-east Asia is a horrible, dreadful, ghastly disaster.

But does it really warrant wall-to-wall news coverage, to the exclusion of everything else?

Do we really need to see every British tourist's holiday video or grab them from the arrivals hall at Heathrow to tell us how awful it now is for the poor locals?

Did these same wealthy tourits think (before they went off to indulge themselves in the sun) about how awful life is normally for many of the inhabitants of those 14 (I think - reports vary) countries affected?

Did these same bourgeois tourists previously actually stop to wonder where the people who waited on their tables or cleaned their rooms lived, if they had access to healthcare, or whether their children had any form of education?

Did they hell.
Most of them anyway.

I was totally turned off tourism in that part of the world 8 years ago when we went to the Maldives. Luxurious glossy resort islands (usually owned by Westerners) where one's every whim is pandered to by locals who are exploited to a level that even now makes me feel sick. Women, brought in every day from the the tiny neighbouring local islands (where often they don't even have a desalination plant of their own, let alone electricity, and where whole extended families live in mud and straw huts smaller than the visitors' bedrooms) sweep up and manicure the unnatural paradises on the resort islands from dawn to dusk for $5 a day when the cheapest drink in the tourists' bar is $6.

While we're being force-fed disaster pictures and repetitive coverage from south-east Asia, what is happening in all the other parts of the world?

We've conveniently been allowed to forget Iraq, Iran, Guantanamo Bay, Zimbabwe... I don't need to go on, do I?

This sort of saturation single-issue coverage smacks of American News reporting.

And I don't like it any more than I like exploitative tourism. That is, tourism that exploits either people or the environment (and yes, we've done our fair share of that too, in our less enlightened days).

And while I'm at it, I'll just suggest that what the area affected really needs is co-ordinated manpower. Money is pouring in, but relief and supplies are getting there too slowly. Let's get our troops out of Iraq where they're (for the most part) not wanted or welcomed by the locals, and off to the disaster zone (Indonesia, Sri Lanka, India, Thailand, Somalia, Malaysia, Myanmar, Maldives etc) to do some good. Simple Witch, moi.

So - to summarize - my thesis is that most people only care, or even think, about poverty and exploitation in the rest of the world when this kind of disaster happens and is slapped all over the news for a few brief days. I suspect that a lot of my readers aren't in this category though. Fortunately.

The Ginger Familiar

Here's a nice cute piccie of The Ginger Familiar on FOTCR™ Day.
The next post to go up may be rather less sweet and fluffy.

Noooo....

Just seen in Local Small Town Woolies (one of those horrible new-fangled ones with tall shelves and without all the stuff for which one relies on Woolies):

Well, that'll please someone...

They also had hot-cross buns in Sainsbury's, but Mr BW refused to lend me his camera again, after the looks he got in Woolies as I took the creme egg picture.

According to Guinness Books of Records...

... between which two dates did the speed (ie operations performed per second) of the world's fastest computer processor go up by a million times?

I want...

... one of those christmas pudding spacehoppers they're using on BBC1 between programmes.

Tuesday

Yesterday was donated to the gods of technology when a 10 minute job to re-position the wireless router in the Coven Attic in order to maximise Coven-wide coverage (and stop me being driven to distraction by its bat-frequency whining) turned into a mammoth 4 hour test of Mr BW's ability to solve the problem while coping with my whingeing.

There followed large commiseratory consumption of alcohol while I made some more large cushion covers for the Rest Room project. I avoided impaling any of my fingers on the sewing machine needle, somehow. And managed to use up all those annoying bits of wrong-colour cotton that always remain on sewing machine bobbins and eventually leave no room for winding the right colour you want to use. If you sew, you'll understand that. If not, you won't have the faintest clue. While sewing I realised that I've had my sewing machine for more than half my life now, as it was a 21st birthday present. Definitely the most useful and money-saving thing I've ever owned.

*surveys bombsite that is The Coven*

You know that you're old when people give you edible things and boxes of cream and product as presents. I dread to think of the combined calorific value of the assorted boxes of goodies that are currently residing in The Coven Lounge. Anyone want any skin or bath product (I'll be allergic to most of it as it will contain lanolin in one form or another)? Or a Next pocket diary for 2005?

Naffest happening at The Coven so far this FOTCR™: Mr BW's boss sending a text message on 25th at 9pm thanking him for his contribution to the team this year and hoping that he'd continue his efforts next year. Had I heard it come in, he'd have got a reply. I'll leave you to guess what it might have been.

Most quotable quote from Mr BW so far this FOTCR™: "That tastes like chocolate smeared all over my lips." (having applied chocolate lip balm thoughtfully provided by Mummy Mr BW).

Off to secretly slurp some sherry before SiL, BiL and the brats arrive for elevenses in an hour. Us BWs do the FOTCR™ alone. It's our one time of the year when we don't welcome guests. Allowing anyone over the threshold before 29th has to be a last resort. It was either that or having to spend the whole of the day chez Mummy and Daddy Mr BW and SiL, BiL and the brats. So we chose the former. They're popping in on their way. Wish me luck. Ah - wonder if Niece Mr BW likes lanolin-laced product?

Now - who wants that diary? (I'm absolutely serious - someone must be able to use it - it's unisex, very dark brown smooth mock-leather cover and comes with a nice silver pen.)

It's a Witch Life

Even if my snow spell has been singularly ineffective around here (perhaps because it got to -4C the night before last), my network spell has been spectacularly successful.

The strongest signal in the house is in my bed. And it is a highly selective spell, because it gives 'excellent' signal strength on my side and only 'very good' on Mr BW's side, just 3 feet away.

It now seems highly unlikely that I need to get up until 4th January.

I've got my telescope set up at the end of the bed so I could watch the moon set this morning, and had Mr BW taking photos that I immediately downloaded using the new cable that arrived with his Sony prize camera that was delivered on FOTCR™ Eve that I've acquired. Unfortunately I can't play with them adequately on this machine as the screen is too bright to allow good manipulation, so you'll have to wait until January 4th, or sooner if I can't work out a way of weeing from my bed and have to get up for that purpose.

I've just sent Mr BW off to make my breakfast, which is to be muffins with marmite topped with melted cheese. I feel almost sorry for him as this involves opening the door of the Cheese Fridge (the one in the utility that is full of - well, smelly cheese, mostly purchased in Paris last weekend). Even The Ginger Familiar runs away when that door is opened.

I love being a Lazy Witch :)

You are going to recycle all that paper, glass, card and plastic, aren't you?

Twas the morning after the FOTCR™

The view from The Coven Bedroom Window on Boxing Day morning - that's the moon setting. We've never seen it disappear that far over before.

Hope you all survived yesterday intact.

I know that some of you at least benefited from my snow spell, even if we didn't...

No, we don't do Christmas. Really ;)

Blanche, BW and Mr BW wish you all a very Happy FOTCR™

Thought for the day

Peace on earth will come to stay,
When we live Christmas every day.

- Helen Steiner Rice

Communication

It's such a relief to have finally managed to get rid of my old narrowband NTL (consistent winners of BW's Worst Customer Service In The World Ever Award) account. I knew that it had finally gone yesterday because when it disappeared, so did all the spam. Mind you... I'm feeling a bit lonely without all that email now...

And, the final Royal Mail delivery before the FOTCR™ has just arrived. No more snail mail until next Wednesday.

Peace at last.

Nice to finally have a letter confirming that The Lump removed from my back a couple of weeks ago was just that though. Nothing sinister. I knew it wasn't, but when they thought they'd lost the lump in pathology I did get a bit concerned...

Just reading Pewari who's not received stuff from Amazon that she ordered at the beginning of December on a 24 hour delivery. Someone had posted a comment linking to this report that states:

"Amazon told BBC News that the only customers facing delays were some of those who ordered the hugely-popular iPod personal music systems.

Amazon said it expected to get 99% of orders delivered in time for Christmas."

How many orders do you think Amazon took this FOTCR™?
And 1% of those, in numerical terms, would be?

That's one fuck of a lot of disappointed and inconvenienced customers then...

You've read it before here, but I'll say it again, BW says, Boycot Amazon. Plenty of other, cheaper, more reliable, places to order from around. Some of them even care about their customers.

In preparation

The observant and non-hungover amongst you will notice that I've put me FOTCR™ hat on. Against my better judgment, but, what with Mr BW excitedly singing, 'It's Christmas Day in the morning,' in my ear from about 7 o'clock this morning (I can't believe it's a year since he last did that), Google's polar bears, and my consumption of all the joys of the West End yesterday (*shudders*), I thought I'd better make an effort.

Had a nasty moment when my Santa hat didn't fit and I realised that my couturier was on the other side of the world and unlikely to be too pleased to receive a text message that said, "Please would you go to an internet cafe and fix me underwear?" (that is a joke, OK? ;)) Then I remembered I had to 'save' the template before rebuilding. Phew. I hadn't played with the template since I was fitted with new underwear a few weeks back and it's changed a bit in the new version of MT.

Talking of new underwear, I spent £140 yesterday in M&S in Kensington on new underwear. *feels faint*

We have this habit of only buying new pants, socks, knickers and bras when the old ones have got holes and the elastic has gone. So, every couple of years it costs a fortune to replace the 2 weeks worth that we each have.

My Grandmother used to say, "Never go out in underwear you'd be ashamed for the doctor in A&E to see." I don't subscribe to that theory. If I end up in A&E I'm unlikely to give a damn what my underwear looks like now am I?

The young bloke on the till (why did the M&S Management in Kensington put a bloke - and he wasn't gay either - on the lingerie till for heaven's sake? He was so embarrassed poor love) tried to be funny:

"You've been a bit unimaginative with your Christmas presents haven't you?"

"Do you think so?" I replied, drily.

He blushed. "Oh sorry - I didn't mean to be offensive."

"You weren't," I said. "You were just making incorrect assumptions."

I don't think he had the faintest idea what I meant.

It was 8 degrees here overnight and although the forecasters say the temperature is going to fall later, I don't see snow in the sky. So, it looks like the snow cannon snow in Covent Garden yesterday is the closest I'll come to snow. Haven't given up the spell yet though.

Right must dash - flowers to arrange now before Mr BW gets home (they only have to do 5 hours today - just as well they've done something to redeem themselves as they've just classified BW as an 'unsuitable site' and made it inaccessible in core time). Gold sprayed home-grown twisted willow (left over from a past year when I had more inclincation to fiddle), white carnations and tiny spiky green-tinged white chrystanthemums from Sainsbury's (and I've kept the till receipt because they won't last the 14 days it says they will on the packets so I'll take them back as it says you can ;)), evergreen foliage, white roses and blushed white viburnum flowers from the garden (climate change - what's that?).

We'll see if it comes out anything like this that I'm using for inspiration - a beautiful pillar arrangement we saw in a Paris church last weekend (the picture doesn't do it justice unfortunately). If it does, I'll post a picture later. If it doesn't it will be found floating in the formal koi pond having been thrown through the kitchen window .

Now - where's that oasis?

And if you're going shopping today, be nice to store staff, eh? It's not their fault you've been a lazy git and left it all to the last minute so they've run out :)

Thought for the day

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

- Shirley Temple

Today

It is 12 years tonight since I met Mr BW.

Last night he was so excited that he had FOTCR™ songs blasting out at full volume while he did the ironing. I took to The Rest Room to escape with a bottle of port and wrapped his FOTCR™ presents. I hate wrapping presents. But, it's all done now.

All the shops round here are selling off everything FOTCR™-y cheaply. I saw 7 foot FOTCR™ trees for £5 yesterday, and cards, wrapping paper, baubles and fairies for half price. Makes sense though. They are more likely to get rid of it now than after the FOTCR™. But, next year, there's the danger people will leave it all to the last minute in the expectation that this will be repeated.

*Smug Witch Alert*

By 7pm yesterday I had totally finished gettting everything we could possibly ever need for our non-FOTCR™ celebration. Including about £30 worh of fruit and veg that I wouldn't otherwise have bought for £3 (Sainsbury's were going mad and reducing everything with a sell-by date of 25th or before to 20p. So, 3 Taste the Difference avocados for 20p, a bag of long peppers for 20p, a bag of romaine lettuce hearts for 20p, melons for 20p etc etc...).

This morning I have already made mince pies (home made mincemeat with cranberries and no meat) and cranberry sauce.

And now I'm going into London. Because I'm daft and I love crowds. Why did I agree to that appointment today back in October?

"Have a good one" to everyone reading today who won't be reading tomorrow. Service will continue throughout the FOTCR™ period here at BW though. Probably :)

Thought for the day

You think I've got time to think today? :)

Frustration

For some reason that I cannot fathom, despite the fact that for the last 12 years I have always and consistently had Windows Explorer set to list all files with their full details rather than just silly icons, they now all revert to silly icons every time I shut the PC down.

I haven't knowingly changed anything. My best guess is that it has to do with networking the PC to the laptop (as I've not set up a file structure on the laptop yet, or modified most of the default settings - FOTCR™ season job), but the problem exists even when the laptop is turned off, so not networked to the PC. I've now clicked every menu that I can find and checked that every possible tick box appears to still be in the correct state, but I still cannot solve the problem.

At present I'm having to open 'View' and move the blob down to 'Details' every time I open Explorer to find a file and it is driving me mad.

Any ideas anyone, please?

What the 12 drinks of Christmas do to your body

Angela Epstein, writing in the Daily Mail yesterday provided a sobering guide (and no, I don't normally read that rag, but sometimes it helps to know from whence the elderly of Middle England get their biased information...):

"Drinking problem: Christmas drinks can cause more than headaches

What price does our body - and our mind - pay for all the extra tippling at this time of year?
Since a small glass of red wine represents one unit of alcohol, what would happen if we drank a glass to represent each of the 12 days of Christmas?

Drink one

About 20 per cent of the alcohol of the first drink is absorbed by the stomach, and the rest by the small intestine. The alcohol then enters the bloodstream, which carries it to every part of the body's tissues, where it begins to take effect.

How much we are affected depends on the Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC). Even after just one drink, the BAC can rise significantly within 20 minutes.

The liver disperses alcohol from the body - it takes about one hour to process one unit of alcohol.

Drink two

Red wine contains a health-boosting antioxidant known as resveratrol. This is a natural chemical found in grape skins whichmay help to prevent heart disease, strokes and cancer.

However, more than two glasses of red wine a day can start to inhibit the effectiveness of the immune system. And by drinking two units of alcohol we are, according to one study, already at increased risk of accident.

At this stage the alcohol may have some beneficial effect. In small quantities, it increases the activities of bone-building cells called osteoblasts.

Drink three

The recommended upper limit for low-risk drinking is a maximum of three units a day for men and two for women.

Women have a lower limit because their bodies tend to be smaller and consist of more fat but less water. This means the alcohol is less diluted and stays in the body longer, so the effect is felt more quickly.

Drink four

As the alcohol from the four glasses circulates through the body, it will reach the brain, where its effects will begin to be felt.

Alcohol is a depressant, meaning it slows reactions. Parts of the brain that normally restrain our behaviour are affected - so the more a drinker has, the more infantile they become, losing their most highly-developed skills first. As a result, inhibitions begin to be lowered. By now, physical co-ordination may also be affected.

Drink five

A standard glass of wine will contain about eight to 10g of alcohol and this pushes blood alcohol levels up by about 15mg. The legal limit for driving is 80mg, so getting behind the wheel of a car is likely to be breaking the law, especially for a woman.

Government advice says a driver should stop drinking well before reaching this level, because the alcohol will already have played havoc with your vision and reactions. Also, be aware that a glass of wine in a bar or pub may be far bigger than a standard measure.

As the alcohol in the system builds up, it starts to impair the central nervous system, resulting in blurred vision, disturbed balance and a dulling in the sense of pain.

Drink six

The brain now begins to experience significant impairments. It is normally protected from chemicals and drugs by the blood-brain barrier, which acts as a filter. But the simple molecular structure of alcohol allows it to penetrate this barrier.

The six glasses of wine will be affecting the frontal cortex, which influences conscious thought, and drinkers will be losing their inhibitions. The heart rate will have increased and blood vessels in the skin will be dilated, causing red cheeks.

Drink seven

By the seventh glass, the drinker will start to urinate excessively, as alcohol is a diuretic. Other parts of the brain will also be influenced by now, including the parietal lobe, which governs our fine motor skills. The drinker's reaction time will have slowed down and they may begin to suffer shaking and loss of balance.

Drink eight

The alcohol is likely to have affected the cerebellum, which controls balance and co-ordination as well as eye and muscle movements. The brain's judgment of distances and heights is also likely to have been disrupted, causing dizziness.

Meanwhile, the alcohol's impact on the temporal lobe will result in slurred speech and impaired hearing - as well as blurred vision.

Drink nine

Unless this is a really hardy drinker, the toxic content of the alcohol in all those glasses of wine is likely to kick in.

This toxicity can irritate the stomach, causing gastritis (chronic stomach upset) and vomiting.

Eyes are likely to be bloodshot as tiny blood vessels on the surface of the eye become dilated and inflamed.

Drink ten

The more a person drinks, the higher their blood pressure, so this tenth glass could cause palpitations.

Meanwhile, as the liver metabolises alcohol it produces acetaldehyde, a vinegar-like substance which has a toxic effects on the liver itself, the brain and the stomach lining, causing severe headaches. By now, the drinker is likely to have severe loss of selfcontrol and feelings of aggression as well as increased sexual behaviour but, ironically, a decline in sexual performance.

Drink eleven

The drinker will be heading towards an alcoholic stupor, possibly experiencing jerking eye movements. It's also likely the body will start to shake and feel weak. This is because the alcohol is causing the body's store of blood sugar to be depleted.

Usually the liver stores sugar as glycogen, but alcohol breaks it down to glucose, which is lost in urine.

Drink twelve

As blood glucose levels plummet, there will be overwhelming tiredness.The body may also have a craving for carbohydrate to overcome this, which is why people feel hungry when they have been drinking.

It is likely the drinker will be unable to walk straight and will suffer memory loss. Drinking this much could lead to passing out and even if this doesn't happen, they are likely to fall into a slumber. But it won't be a refreshing sleep, because alcohol interferes with sleep rhythms.

If the liver has too much alcohol to handle, normal function is severely disrupted. Liver cells are destroyed or altered, causing fat deposits and inflammation. "

Scary isn't it?

And as I have a good working knowledge of exactly what each of those parts of the brain mentioned does, and where it is inside my head, it's even scarier for me. Doubt I'll remember when I get past drink number one though :)

Turn to stone

"BW, you've been here before haven't you?" asked Mr BW as we were walking round the Centre Pompidou. Home of the largest collection of modern art in Europe, as the ginormous banner draped over the outside proudly proclaimed.

"Well yes, a long time ago, in the days when they let you ride up and down the escalators for free," I replied, "How did you know?"

"I fear that last time you were here you might have been in rather a mood with someone BW. The evidence is now in a case over there..."

"Ah yes. That. Ooops."

First impressions

On arriving at the metro near our hotel (to the east of Paris, but still only 10-15 minutes from the centre) on Friday afternoon, we found that they had put up posters of BW Blue Father Christmases for me. How thoughtful. I was most impressed.

Oh - by the way... what do you call someone who is afraid of Father Christmas?

Thought for the day

Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.

- Mary Ellen Chase

You saw the crescent, I saw the whole of the moon

Ever since I was a Small Witch I have been fascinated by astronomy and space flight. Somewhere, buried in the depths of The Coven Attic, I still have a book I made (with a printed lino-cut cover) of all the newspaper coverage of the first Skylab flights.

Probably the best present I ever had as a child was a small telescope. Collapsed, it was about the size of a small folding umbrella. Pulled out, it was as infinitely large as my imagination. I spent many a winter's night out in the garden peering at far-off worlds. I don't remember feeling the cold; just the enormous feeling of awe that nothing on earth ever gave me. And I've still got the telescope, which is still in pristine condition, depsite all the hours of use it had. It's not a poweful telescope; but at the time it made me feel powerful, and removed me from the world I lived in, which wasn't always the happiest of places.

Twice this year, once in Australia in February, and once in Devon in September, I have been fortunate enough to look through a high-powered telescope at things in the dark night sky. I was still as entranced and enthralled as I ever was when I was a Small Witch.

So, for part of my Witchday present, Mr BW decided to buy me a telescope. 5" in diameter and two and a half feet in length it is. And last night he set it all up. Most unusually for him, he read the instructions before he did so. It was that complicated (engineers never read instruction manuals you see).

It was dark and clear and cold. I saw the moon again with wonderful, magical, clarity. The craters that disappear off the edge that vanishes into invisibilty are just so pretty. And I really wanted to believe that people had walked on it for a few years from 1969.

Excellent present choice Mr BW :)

Apologies - the photo looks fine on the screen at 2.1MB, but sadly doesn't reduce well in size.

Thought for the day

Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul; unbelief, in denying them.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Paris

Wind stopped me from ice skating up the Eiffel Tower on my Witchday. I was upset.

I wanted to wear my "Back the Bid" t-shirt too. Kindly supplied by *coughs* someone local. I wasn't allowed. On that subject, I don't think there's nearly as much publicity around Paris for their 2012 Olympic bid as there is around London. The metro trains have stickers on the windows saying 'gagnons les jeux' (about the same size as the ones on the tube), the Eiffel Tower has a logo displayed on it (right hand picture), and the Pompidiou Centre has a large banner proclaiming that it houses the largest collection of modern art in Europe. But, that was about it as far as we could see.

And there's another 207 pictures to come...

Unexpected FOTCR™ presents

Blimey.

Mr BW has just been notified that he's won one of these just for registering on the Sony website. Teeny weeny baby waby and totally compatible with the Sony cameras and camcorders we already have. £175 worth at Value Witch Price, £229 at RRP. We just never win things like this. In fact, sometimes I wonder if anyone ever does.

Best thing is, it will come with another USB/Sony download cable which can live permanently stuck in my new laptop (which is not a Sony because it didn't meet my performance or Value needs). Excellent.

Sometimes my spells are answered :)

I'm dreaming of a white FOTCR™

Thanks to commentator Verity for this little gem:

How white will your FOTCR be?

I tried a few and they all came up as 80%.
I heard last night that the bookies have slashed their odds too.

It was minus 3 and very crisp and white here at The Coven this morning.

*continues white powder spells*

Thought for the day

I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means.

- Oscar Wilde

We popped into the Pere-Lachaise Cemetery while we were in Paris, as it was near to where we were staying, just to check it out... Sure enough a lady benefactor did pay for his grave.

Most interesting it was too. Covered in lipstick kisses and somewhat otherwise defaced.

Three girls in their early 20s who'd also come to see summed it up perfectly, "But who'd want to kiss a gay man's tomb?" And who'd want to knock off his balls? No, I don't think I understand either.

Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery?

I'm Leaving on a Jet Train...

The wonderfully creative and talented Timothy's been inspired to make me a virtual Adventure Bag, so I'll be able to have virtually any Birthday Adventure I choose. I'm just hoping there's a clean pair of knickers in there... ;)

Hopefully he may just pop by and tell those of you who don't already know, what Adventure Bags are all about. It's a great concept, which I think has huge potential.

In the meantime, you can have a go at identifying all the objects in the bag.

I've just realised I'm being diddled out of an hour of today too, so only a 23 hour WitchDay this year :(

Soyez bien les enfants. Je vous missez deja ;)

Thought for the day

My interest is int he future because I'm going to spend the rest of my life there.

- Charles F Kettering

Today's Witch Info Challenge

Thank you to everyone who helped with the laptop/network problems yesterday. Nicely proved that spells and BW readers can conqueur even technology :)

And LCM has come off my 'No FOTCR™ Card List' as he's just sent me an email telling me how to neatly solve the email problem:

"You should only access one e-mail account from one machine. If you want the e-mail to be collected from two places then setup a second account and have a copy of all incoming mail forwarded to it. Only collect from this account on the second machine."

Very busy busy today (don't ever say that near a guide dog though) trying to sort everything and everybody out before popping on the EuroStar and off to Paris for the weekend tomorrow (so, OK, we cheated, our FOTCR™ spending doesn't include this trip as I can categorise it in the 'birthday expenditure' category (erm, have I mentioned it's my birthday tomorrow?);))

The last time we were there was almost 10 years ago on our first anniversary. I'm finding it hard to believe that it is really that long ago.

I spent 6 months in France as an au pair in 1980 and, as the family were based in Versailles, spent most of my free time in Paris. However, time and old age have depleted my memory cells somewhat. And I'm sure lots has changed.

So, remembering the success of the planning BW readers did for us for our London 10th Anniversary day back in April, and hot on the tail of Alan, who was yesterday looking for ideas for things to do in NY over the FOTCR™, today's challenge is:

Ideas for an itinerary for the BW's weekend in Paris.
Ideas for places to eat and arty/crafty places to buy nice things especially encouraged.

The only thing currently on our list is a return visit to the Musee d'Orsay.

Value Witch

First class stamps are to rise in price from 28p to 30p in April.

Superdrug is selling all books of first class stamps at 5% off until 25th December. As these are the unpriced ones with "1st" written on them, they will still be valid after the price rise.

Buy now, save 12%. Or pay with an AmEx Platinum credit card and get another 2% back. 16% off postage. Witchy likes :)

I read somewhere else that Asda are doing discounted 2nd class stamps too. Maybe our Man on the Scene could confirm?

Thought for the day

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies often wake up every couple of hours?

The price of commercialism

I am truly shocked. I've just read something on a money site (unfortunately without an original source) that says that the average adult will spend £813 on the Feast Of The Cash Register™ this year, which is apparently £55 less than last year.

£813 per adult? (how on earth was that figure calculated anyway?!)
That suggests we 'should' be spending £1626. As we won't be spending more than maybe £250 more than we normally would, some people must be spending a hell of a lot...

How much do you think you will spend, over and above your normal spending?

Map views

Great link here (nicked from Pat's linkblog) that superimposes a map over an aerial shot of any postcode.

Frustration is...

...having to set up your own new computer when someone else has set up every new computer/rebuild you have had for the past 5 years to your exact liking and specification, so that every new machine was just like the last one, in every respect, right from the start.

... cleaning all the dross off the hard drive that has come pre-installed that you don't want.

... getting the nasty 'made for Windows XP' sticker off the case without leaving sticky marks.

... finding the right places to change all the nasty default kitschy kiddy settings so that it visually looks exactly like every other PC you have owned since 1992.

...getting a wireless router to work properly (that was the extension phone socket's fault).

Yeah, well, managed all those last night, eventually. Not on my own I hasten to add. As you may have presumed. And it might have been easier had I not been drinking red wine having earlier had some co-codamol...

...working out where Windows Explorer is hidden so I can put an icon on my right taskbar.

...getting the advanced security features on the wireless router to work. WTF is a 58 hexadecimal random digit sequence anyway and how do I know where to find it (it doesn't like the ones we made up)?

...working out how a network functions and how to use it in the most effective way.

...working out what to do about email - is there a way to download it onto both main PC and laptop? Otherwise, with the amount I get and the complexity of my filing system, I'm going to get in a big mess. Of course, if I understood networks better, I might know the answer to this one.

...working out where to change the brightness of the screen and the background colours (it's not where it is on my main machine).

I shall be working on these issues today. Any and all advice appreciated.

Thought for the day

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

NVC - yet more rough jottings

I didn't actually necessarily mean postive thinking per se, but rather ways of conceptualising things in general.

I just know that *my* world has been turned upside down (and 110% for the better) by the power of NVC. 2 two-day courses and everything I've ever struggled with has finally and suddenly come into perspective. I've stopped thinking self-destructively and negatively. I've stopped perceiving things in unhelpful ways. I've stopped feeling at war with the world and myself.

I will probably get round to writing about it eventually. Except that I might not, as I feel too daunted by the thought of having to attempt to turn an experience of this intensity into prose. I don't think I can do it justice or convey just how effective the technique is. A million times more effective than any other sort of 'therapy' I have ever heard about or experienced.

But, different things work for different people.

Coven Life

I've been a Brave Witch this week.

First, yesterday, I endured half an hour of hard skin being pared from my feet with a scapel by the chiropodist. That is the price I pay for insisting on walking round the gravel paths at The Coven with nothing on my feet. Yes, sometimes even in winter. Home food-sander thingys just can't cope with the damage I inflict on my poor pieds. Ah - just thinking - I wonder if Mr BW has a Dremel atachment that might work on this problem? (Oh FFS, in finding that link I've just noticed that Dremel are now doing a golf-club cleaning attachment...)

This morning I've been to have my stitches out (pictures later ;))(which I didn't even realise the nurse had actually done, much to my amazement), and then flew cross town to have my teeth scraped and polished by the 8-month pregnant hygienist. That was funny. Her arms nearly weren't long enough to get to my teeth from where they were forced to be positioned by the size of her bump.

And now, I have to be even Braver.

I hate playing with technology, which is why I have Mr BW for most things and Little Computer Man for computer things.

I now have to contemplate the joys of setting up my own network, wireless router and wireless thingy in my PC, as Little Computer Man can't get his arse round here to do it for me until a week today (not entirely his fault as that was what we'd originally arranged to fit in with our Paris trip at the weekend and the fact that the laptop wasn't meant to arrive until the end of this week).

As I can't wait that long, I told him to get the kit (that he was getting from some cheap source) round here by this evening and we'd do it... He sounded doubtful, but agreed... but also said it would still be next Tuesday before he could sort it out if we messed it all up. So, if I suddenly disappear, you'll know why.

The Coven is a tip.
The only rooms that aren't full of FOTCR rubbish, half-finished cushion covers, or assorted paperwork that has been building up for months that I'm supposed to be sorting out, are the bathroom and the cloakroom. I'm seriously considering spending the afternoon in the bath to escape from it all...

I have, however, now got everything required for the FOTCR™ celebrations (sic), give or take some parsnips, fresh cranberries, and other fruit and veg. *feeling smug* I haven't, however, finished all the paperwork I need to have done by the weekend. *feeling unsmug and annoyed*

Even my teddies gang up on me...

In my absence up norf this weekend, Mr BW was busy wrapping, I found on returning home yesterday. There is now quite a nice little stack of birthday pressies in the corner of the bedroom. He also posted a guard:
However, I learnt long ago that I really don't like peeping in advance, so I shan't. Pooh might just be a nannycam after all...

I'm mightily intrigued though as I don't remember dropping hints (some as unsubtle as sending Mr BW emails at work just containing URLs) about things that could be most of those shapes...

Thought for the day

Try not to do too many things at once. Know what you want, the number one thing today and tomorrow. Persevere and get it done.

- George Allen

Rubbish

I wasn't joking earlier when I said that Manchester had one thing that endeared it to me... the paper recycling bins.

Distractions

Go and play Steve's game (he's after grubby search strings, I suspect; if not, I did it wrong ;))

or DG's game (he's after four-letter words so I gave him D'Ove, blue, star and calm)

or read this item found by Alan. Witches know best :)

or, more soberingly, this item about identity theft at its very worst. Someone I was working with had this happen to them recently. I wanted to blog it then, but there was so little info on the internet about it that I didn't dare. Very, very sobering though. And, in the case I know about, very badly handled by the boys in blue who were incredibly unsympathetic and left a child absolutely traumatised.

They've done something at Google over the weekend - I had my Google Toolbar (every computer should have one) set to provide 50 returns on every search page. Now it's reverted to 10 and I can't find a way to make it give me more. Which is *very* annoying and frustrating when you do as many searches a day as I do. You can still set it to do more on a single advanced serach, but I can't find anywhere that will up the number on a standard initial search. Any ideas anyone, please?

*excited*
My new laptop will be here by 9pm.
Or there will be spells.

Back from t'North

Am I right in thinking that the M6 Toll Road is a zone for legalised speeding? What a fab bit of road. The slowest cars do 80mph in the inside lane, faster ones do 90mph in the second lane, and the rest of us were doing *coughs* in the outside lane. Hope it's not going to cost me more than the £3 it already did ;) And Weeford Park - who thought that up for the name of the main toll plaza going south? Really.

3 hours 23 minutes from Manchester. 214 miles. That's what I call a good journey on a Monday morning. Worth getting up in time to leave at 7, even if the lady who I was staying with for the weekend didn't think so.

That's my spiritual soul topped up ready to face the FOTCR. The one thing that saddened me was the last time I went up to Manchester for a similar course we all went out for a curry on Saturday night. This time we were a smaller group (8 rather than 14) and 2 of them felt they needed to stay in to watch the final of Celebrity Strictly Come Dancing rather than do anything as a group. Bloody hell - this says that they weren't the only ones... apparently 21M people watched this and the X Factor on Satuday night. That's one in three UK residents!!! Sad, sad, sad people.

And - guess what colour the paper recycling wheelie bins are in South Manchester? :) (and no, I didn't, I thought it was a bit too risky to sneak one away in the back of me broom.)

*sighs* Now to attack the 273 emails that have arrived since Friday lunchtime. If you've got a name that sounds even vaguely American and have sent me a mail with no title line, or a legit one that is offering cheap software or accidentally includes the words cialis, viagra, rolex, or anything sexual, you'll need to re-send it when my delete finger is less jittery...

Magic, Roundabout

I knew that there was going to be a film version of my old childhood favourite The Magic Roundabout. What I'd missed is just how well the casting team had anticipated the market.

Kylie Minogue as the voice of Florence, indeed :)

Other castings include:

Robbie Williams as Dougal
Joanna Lumley as Ermintrude
Jim Broadbent as Brian
Bill Nighy as Dylan
Ian McKellan as Zebedee

Due out here on 11th February I see. Trailers available here.

I haven't watched the trailers, mind, as I don't want to spoil my memories. It'll never be the same as the original ones I watched at teatime just before Nationwide.

Particularly as reviews are saying, "Our only real reservation is that the plot seems modelled on that of a platform game, which may keep the kids happy but could prove very wearing for adults." and "CGI has taken over even from puppets, but the good news is that the characters themselves haven't changed much, except that they can now do action. And how – Dylan sees off some evil skeletons with his hitherto-unguessed at martial arts know-how, Brian gets ejector-seated from a moving train and Ermintrude does some Catherine Zeta-Jones style ballet dancing through infra-red beams."

Seems weird that it is Pathe, keepers of 3500 hours of the British past, who are distorting this part of the past... I'm undecided whether I'll be going to see it.

And no, I don't think it's OK for them to have made up new characters either. Even if they are Tom Baker (as Zee Bad) and Ray Winstone (as Soldier Sam). And it's going to be called "Sprung!" as apparently the American market aren't famililar with the original. Well, let's hope someone releases the early episodes over there soon. They've missed a treat.

Ermintrude is best.

I have a t-shirt with Ermintrude on it. I've had it 15 years. I refuse to be parted from it until I can find a new one. And I've a feeling that it won't be in February as the new characters are nasty. Don't look at all like the proper characters.

Oh, and Fluffy the Ginger Familiar looks just like Dougal. Robbie Williams. Noooo. Save us.

Which character do you like best?

Thought for the day

When we are clear about what is important to us, our concept of what is necessary changes.

How do you start an email?

With people I know well, and/or correspond often, I rarely put a name at the top when replying.

If other people, particularly those I don't know personally, have initiated the interaction, I tend to follow whatever they've done (eg "Hi BW", "Hello BW" or "Dear BW"), when replying.

The thing that I dislike most is when people start them with just the word "Greetings". I also hate "Dear Mrs BW".

I've just come home to an avalanche of email and most of it has annoyed me. You'd never tell, would you? ;)

Orangey yellow error

My spells have gone slightly awry, again.

Ooops.

I've been doing one to ensure dave has a great 40th tomorrow, and it must have got muddled up with ideas from his last post before he left for foreign shores, which mentions mandarin oranges...

Mr BW has informed me this morning that he's going to start learning Mandarin in January. 4 hours a week for 6 months.

Anyone know anything about Mandarin?

Art Class: Session 10

"Well, today I have poinsettias or fir cones for you," said the tutor. "Only I'd do the poinsettias if I was you."

So I picked a fir cone.

"Take care with the spirals BW," she advised. I overheard her saying to someone else, "BW's very brave. I always have difficulty with fir cones."

I thought I'd finished it, and she came round. "That looks like a stencil, BW," she said, as I'd left white between each of the bases of the - what do you call the prongs on a fir cone? - prongs. Join it up. Use some maroon."

I was dubious, but I think it worked.

I'd intended to draw it first on cartridge paper, then watercolour it on watercolour paper, but I decided that would take too long and that I would colour the first version using pencils. Except that I'd only got watercolour pencils in my art box and I find them rather inflexible and feel that they don't work well wet on cartridge paper.

So I just used them neat and dry.

Thought for the day

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is: that one often comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't.

- Henry Ward Beecher

I'm hopping mad...

Just walking round Small Local Town picking up the last few bits we need for the FOTCR™ after my art class, I noticed a car parked half on the pavement and on double yellow lines in the Market Square, causing an obstruction. Over the other side of the square, standing talking to someone who he clearly knew well, was a Police Constable.

The driver of the car came out of the bakery, talking on his mobile phone, and clutching a paper bag full of bun or sandwich. He got in the car, started the engine, and began to move off, still talking on his phone.

I crossed the Square, interrupted the young PC's friendly chat with his mate, and politely pointed out what was going on, and that the man was now driving along while using a phone in an area crowded with pedestrians, most of whom were either elderly or with young children.

He shrugged, said, "Can't do anything love," and turned his back on me to continue his jocular conversation with his friend.

I said, still politely and calmy, "Erm, excuse me, I was talking to you!" but he ignored me. I then moved sideways, positioning myself between him and his friend, to get his attention back. "I think I'm correct in saying that you have statutory powers that allow you to stop people driving along whilst using a mobile phone? And, if you won't do anything, I think your superior officer needs to be made aware of this. Now, he's still over there, stuck in the traffic, still on his phone, and I'd like you to either do something or give me your police number."

At this point he started telling me not to tell him how to do his job and demanding my name. I just raised my eyebrows at him in my best schoolteacherly way and quietly said, "You can have my name just as soon as you've given me your number." At this point he told me that if I didn't give him my name immediately he'd arrest me.

I could have diffused the situation quite easily, but I wanted to make a point.

"So, I'd just like to be clear here. I am being perfectly calm, reasonable and polite. You're saying that you're going to arrest me for asking you your police number because you've failed to do anything about a driver using a mobile phone while driving, that I pointed out to you? Also bearing in mind that the man in question was parked for about 5 minutes half on the pavement, on double yellow lines, on Market Day, while you stood talking to a friend on the other side of the square?"

I decided to leave it at that, shook my head at him sadly, and walked off.

I've just rung the police station.

The Station Inspector told me, "The PC was correct. He has no power to do anything about someone driving whilst using a mobile phone while he is on a foot patrol in Small Local Town on Market Day. However, he should have supplied you with his number when you asked, and should not have demanded your name and then threatened you with arrest when you refused to give it to him when he wouldn't first supply his number. I'll speak to him about it."

Is it any wonder that people have so little respect for the police?

And what are the regulations for police dealing with people driving while on phones?

Coven News

Never has the spam promise of "Buy cheap pain meds without a prescription" seemed so enticing as last night... I just wish I hadn't deleted them all. Oh well. Had to make do with co-codamol and red wine. Don't try that at home either. I've done it before (I hasten to add, under medical advice, when I had swollen brain sydrome for 6 months back in 1990). Tolerance sort-of builds up.

To the three people who sent emails of protest about the pics yesterday - heyho, that was my world, then. Pushing the boundaries of blogging, as well as life, that's me :)

Never one to willingly go without a shower a day, I had Mr BW stick a piece of plastic bag (new, not recycled, need to avoid MRSA) over my dressing with surgical tape in order that it didn't get wet while I was abluting. Necessity is the mother of invention. I certainly wasn't going to do as Grumpy Nurse said and 'just wash the important little places' until I had the stitches out next week. She obviously doesn't get as hot and sweaty as I do in bed.

Mr BW got a bit carried away while signing FOTCR™ cards while I was catching up on some report writing last night. When I came to write the "and BW" (I do insist on signing my own name in cards) I found one where he'd written 'Happy Birthday' rather than 'Happy FOTCR™' Oops. And, despite frequent and abundant proof-reading during the production process, I also discovered a missing closure bracket from the text. But, I can only think of three people who will notice.

Dreading the FOTCR™ present from the weird neighbour next door. I don't think I've ever mentioned him properly, have I? Think "the same age as the Queen," as he's always telling us, single (never partnered), lived with his mum until she died 12 years ago, rides a bicycle, epileptic, lay-preacher, hospital visitor, general do-gooder, with, according to one of our h0ney customers, a conviction for 'gross indecency' in a small public place in Local Small Town, aut1st1c cont1nuum, and you may get the picture...

One year it was a collector's plate, no doubt collected from a jumble sale; another it was a faded picture of a bird in a white plastic frame with rubbed-off mock-gold lines, similarly acquired; two or three times it's been a cheapo calendar; once a mock-Grecian vase (*counts on fingers* that's only 6 at most; grief - we've been here 9 FOTCR™s, and I can't remember any others).

Always and irrefutably our worst FOTCR™ present every year.

But, closely followed by the lovely bird sculptures with attached air plants that I have now twice been given by children known to me in a professional capacity. A couple of years ago a blue tit, this year a robin (I was told to open it immediately, I wasn't being naughty). Both gratefully recycled to Mr BW's grandmother.

What's your worst FOTCR™ present ever?
And, what do you do with presents you don't like?

Thought for the day

You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.

- Margaret Thatcher

Don't try this at home

If you faint at the sight of blood, or are eating, best look away now.

If you've not read earlier entries today, best do so first.

Here is my little operation in all its lovely detail (I've cut the resolution right down so it's not as gory as the 2MB originals. If anyone wants higher definition, let me know and I'll be delighted to mail them... ;)) - cor look, you can even see my pores under the operating light. Hover over each pic for info.

Shall I send the surgeon the URL?
And yow, it hurts now the anaesthetic is wearing off.

BW pulls off another Blogland First

Yes, we have operation pictures, I just need to resize them, take some more painkillers, and have some lunch :)

"What on earth are you going to do with them?" the surgeon asked. "Hardly the sort of thing you'd show your friends, is it?"

"You'd be surprised," I grunted, from my position face down on his operating table. Mr BW said, "She's odd, my wife." The nurse fussed about, scared that Mr BW would faint or something. She called the surgeon by his surname 18 times in the 20 minutes it took. I counted. Took my mind off the needle repeatedly being stuck in my back. They don't make nurses like that in the NHS.

No comment

A year ago today it was my rebirthday.
In my new dress.
Remember?

Today, by spooky co-incidence over which I had no control, I have new undergarments again (now using MT V3.121). Huge thanks are once again due to my couturier who noticed my dingy lingerie while I was out and popped down to the shops and got me some new stuff. I didn't even notice him putting it on, such was the seamlessness of the operation. Dirty underwear? Do what? I hear you ask. Well...

Well, as you know, I do like comments (as I always say, a blog without comments is a webpage), and almost 1500 in 6 hours would have been a lovely rebirthday present, had they not all been spam. Judging by the speed they came in (about 4-6 per minute, irregularly spaced) it was a real person doing them too.

Sadly, their 6 hours of work got removed in a flash by the lovely Alan, and John at Enetation. And hopefully the updated version of MT Blacklist will work with my spells to keep the evil spammers away.

Right, I'm off to the hospital soon to have the first visible scar made in my Witchy Flesh. I'd managed nearly 42 years without needing thread stitches, but apparently it's now unavoidable. It's that lump my GP couldn't attend to until April. The joys of private medicine (aka getting Value out of the £400 a year in tax that the government charge Mr BW for the pleasure of having company healthcare - how many times do we have to pay for something? They should give us a rebate for not needing the NHS, not surcharge us for relieving them of their responsibilities!!)). See consultant at 6.15pm one evening, have offending lump removed the next morning. Apparently this sort of lump doesn't usually get smaller as mine has. That confused the consultant. He really couldn't understand how that is possible. I thought it best not to mention about my spells :)

Mr BW is going to ask if he can take pictures for your delectation. Well, actually, that's untrue. I'm going to ask if Mr BW can take pictures, because Mr BW doesn't want to (ask or take pictures). But, as I said to him, if I've got to be scared out of my skin and then have needles and knives stuck in me, the least he can do is take a few pics. I bet the surgeon says no, but, we'll see. That would be a blog first, wouldn't it? :)

I told the surgeon to have an early night and not go out on the piss.
Oh - and I'm printing out these instructions and taking them along for him, just in case.

Thought for the day

History books begin and end, but the events they describe do not.

- R. G. Collingwood

Moron

Those of you able to ban idiot commentators/spammers by IP might like to add the following URL/email to your blacklist:

65.172.171.240
stef@lyma.org

(hmmm... a spot of Googling reveals a proxy server, and, of course, a fake address, I might have guessed)

Thanks for the 336 comments, just what I needed to find on getting back from the hospital... But, at least I have the plasure of knowing that someone wasted several hours of their life doing it.

Now, where was that new screensaver thingy that Lycos have launched to teach these sad individuals a lesson?

Update - damn - it's been shut down. And well over a thousand comments now. I'll do a nasty spell instead. A VERY nasty spell. I would be *very* afraid if I was that moron.

I know there are plenty of people around who wonder what planet I am on. Well... here's the answer...

BW is from Neptune

You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability. You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea. Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion. You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone. If you don't get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.

Not so sure about the music (unless it's 70s punk), poetry and dance bit though... but the rest is OK. And anyway, Neptune's blue, so it must be right.

And yes, I'm busy today. Hundreds of things I want to write about, but I'm trying to be good. Hence the quiz, pulled from the folder of 'posts for desperate times' :)

Thought for the day

We cannot do great things on this earth. We can only do small things with great love.

- Mother Teresa

Feast Of The Cash Register™ -20

It's that time of year when I curse the fact that I didn't update my Access FOTCR card database every time someone told me they'd moved, separated or died. Now, just exactly where have all the scraps of paper with the new addresses got to?

Being unconventional BWs, we, of course, have to produce our own cards. It started a few years ago with arty farty ones - painted, collaged, whatever, but last year's "The Coven Menagerie" (which included an aerial shot of The Coven Grounds with all the Familiars' locations marked) received critical acclaim from many recipients. What they didn't realise was that we actually set out to take the piss out of their word-processed boring family newsletters. However.

We've upped the game again this year, and Photoshopped (Naughty Witch, that word's banned isn't it?) a few images from around The Coven together in a psuedo-festive stylee and printed them off on photo-paper. The cards themselves we did using PrintMaster Gold (an excellent piece of software that we've had for 5 or 6 years and use for almost every graphics project we do).

Mr BW wrote some text from a D'Ove's beak, and I added the punctuation. It includes Esme and a box of her blue eggs (images grabbed straight from here) with the caption, "Esme wanted to show you her eggs (poor dear probably thinks it's Easter)." Some sort of an all-in-one-christian-festival-celebration-card. Let's get Value out of this process.

We've managed to fill every scrap of the card so there's no room to feel obliged to scrawl even a quick note, which is most encouraging. It was only after we'd started the print-run that we realised we could have scanned in our signatures and saved ourselves the job of even having to sign the things...

So I'm just sitting here waiting for it all to print, guillotine and double-sided sticky tape at the ready.

The 73rd Make Blue Witch Laugh Award

Thank you very much to everyone who offered advice on the laptop dilemma. More on that anon, no doubt, as I'm even more confused now.

First Feast Of The Cash Register card arrived on Thursday, first FOTCR parcel arrived yeserday. *sighs* Gave in to Mr BW's FOTCR cravings and went out really early this morning to avoid the crowds and get a FOTCR tree from a Value place we know, where the people are friendly and helpful, have nice manners, and give you cups of hot spiced apple juice (This Year's 'mulled wine' I reckon) to warm you up. My criterion for a FOTCR tree is that it has to be taller than me. Fine when I was a Young Witch, but now it tends on the expensive side. More on that subject anon too. Also got 5 metres of zip (did you know you can buy zip by the yard ? I didn't) for the covers for the huge cushions for The Rest Room that I'm about to make, and made about 40 jars of honey marmalade (had to use the Seville oranges up as I needed the space in the freezers, plus it's almost January when I'll be able to get some more to squirrel away all year and only use up this time next year when I need the space).

Nothing in blogland has made me laugh out loud this week; in fact not a lot has made me laugh out loud at all as it's been rather a hectic week.

So, I'll have to give this week's MBWLA to the 3 very drunk Scottish lads on the tube on the way home from The Beautiful South concert last night (which was excellent - more on that anon) who nearly had me wetting myself for half an hour (I'm not going to try repeating any of it - it was one of those 'you had to be there' things). Jointly shared with the person (known to many of us in these parts) who said to me earlier, "There's nothing wrong with wearing your lodger's knickers." There's not? ;)

Shame that three of this week's winners will never know, and one will never admit it, isn't it? :)

Technology: fact and question

I have just killed a supposedly unkillable mechanical touch keyboard. I think it was guaranteed for a trillion billion keystrokes or something, and I've killed it in 3 years.

The 't' key is only working occasionally. Although I dictate most things these days, I often do corrections via the keyboard as it is quicker, and my RSI wrists are better than they were as I'm typing much less. So it's a pain.

As this person says, if you learnt to type using an old-fashioned typewriter, you hit the keyboard hard, and it knackers normal keyboards in a matter of months.

Techie question (pretty please, for those of you who know about these things):

I am about to purchase a laptop.

It needs to have a Pentium 4 processor and 512MB of RAM to run the resource hungy voice-recognition software I use. That seems to limit me to a desktop replacement model. I'm not too bothered about the weight, how pretty it is, or the size of the hard drive (40MB will be adequate), but it does need to have a Wi-Fi thingy. I'm also not prepared to spend huge amounts of money buying a top spec model that will be outdated next week and is able to do things I won't ever use it for (eg games, movies, or watching TV).

All I need is something that will handle normal Office programs in conjunction with my VRS, enable me to download digital images from my camera and manipulate them using Photoshop, and play on the net from other far-flung parts of The Coven than my Inner Coven.

Having hunted high and low, and perused the internet and a copy of What Laptop, all I can find that might suit is this HP machine or this Dell machine (but upgraded like this - damn, it won't let me link directly - the upgrade includes the 512MB RAM and 'Dell Wireless 1350 802.11b/g 54Mbps Mini-PCI Wireless Card [add £35.25]' - or would I be better getting a 'Dell Wireless 1450 802.11a/b/g 54Mbps Mini-PCI Wireless Card (Dual Band) [add £47.00]'?).

I'm tempted to go for the Dell machine as, although it is £153 more (£952 cf £799): (a) as upgraded, it has 4 years next-day on-site warranty (LCM won't touch laptop hardware), and (b) the cheapest/only place to get the other one is PC World (with whom we have had - and eventually won - previous battles over piss-poor customer service, so I am keen not to buy from them ever again).

Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated.

Quick and random

Trying to decide whether to set up a chocolate swap-shop.

Yesterday's least favourite chocolate feature appears to have provided me with an opportunity to acquire my favourites, marzipan from Brian and Mr e (oh btw, the missing ingredient in your home-made marzipan recipe is egg white, how appropriate given your over-stock situation), and ginger from Tim, and for Mr BW to get a bulk supply of caramels from Tim, Harriet, Roger, and maybe someone else I've missed... I'm trying to be rapid here and skimming comments is doing my eyes in.

ew will take orange creams off people's hands...

But... as for Vaughan, drD and Alan - well, maybe they make their own chocolates? Wrap your own non-food object in a velvety chocolate robe. Or not. What fun one could have writing the 'tempation line' blurb for the advertising...

Off to see The Beautiful South at the Hammersmith Apollo tonight *excited* - one of Mr BW's ex-colleagues had an accident and couldn't go at the last minute. Second visit there in 4 weeks. That's 3 bands we've seen live in the last month. Most unlike us.

Twas weird that, very weird.

When we moved to The Coven back in the mid-90s, a lot of our decorating was done to their Blue is The Colour album. Last weekend, when Mr BW was finishing off the redecoration of The Coven Lounge he put on a Squeeze CD. One of my favourite bands of the late 70s and early 80s. Mr BW reminded me that we'd seen The Beautiful South and Squeeze at Chelmsford Spectacular a few years ago. I saw Squeeze a few times in the early 80s, but have never seen TBS on their own. Spells, eh? :)

Whenever I think of the BITC album I think of the time I was driving round the M25 listening to Capital FM and they accidentally(?) played the wrong version of 'Don't Marry Her'. And then drew attention to the fact.

I have to be good today.
Lots of work to do.
Less blogging and random time wasting and more working....

I've worked out a reward system for myself. I've divided the piece of my favourite cheese, Yarg, that I bought yesterday into small squares. Every time I get a section of a report done, I'm allowed to eat one. However, it may not be working too well, as I've had 2 bits already and I've not yet done a thing...

Thought for the day

Sticks and stones may break my bones
but words can also hurt me.
Stones & sticks break only skin,
while words are ghosts that haunt me.

Slant and curved the word-swords fall
to pierce and stick inside me.
Bats and bricks may ache through bones,
but words can mortify me.

Pain from words has left its scar
on mind and heart that's tender.
Cuts and bruises now have healed;
it's words that I remember.

- Barrie Wade

Chocolate question

I'm not that keen on chocolate, as regulars here will know.
Mr BW more than makes up for my reticence, as regualrs here will also know.

However, there is one chocoalte-related thing that we do agree on.

Coffee flavoured chocs are nasty.

I don't drink coffee, but Mr BW occasionally will, so that doesn't account for it.

When we had an open fire we used to delight in lobbing them into the dancing flames and watching them combust spectacularly. Nowadays, chucking them at the log burner just produces a mess, so the hens get them. Yes, I know the sugar is probably bad for their beaks, but, they seem to enjoy them, and Mr BW has a theory that if they eat enough they will eventually lay chocolate eggs. I don't like to disillusion him poor dear.

So, with the excesses of The Feast Of The Cash Register fast approaching, my question for you today is:

What is your least favourite chocolate centre?

Art Class: Session 9

Yesterday's art class was about practising 'watercolouring water', and we were told to take along some suitable photos. I chose some photos of my favouritest place in the UK, a beach in South Devon, where I'm going to fly free when I'm dead.

I've not tried painting water before, and having had to drive round the town for half an hour looking for somewhere to park as the only public car-park where you can stay for 3 hours was full (despite having nearly 1000 spaces), due no doubt to the proximity of The Feast of The Cash Register and it being Market Day, I missed half the demonstration and was not in a good humour.

Nonetheless, my efforts at angrily throwing paint at the paper and using a white crayon as 'wax resist' to protect portions of the paper to represent the white horses on the wave crests seemed to excite the tutor who kept telling everyone what wonderful movement I had. A recently purchased tube of 'indigo' proved a good colour to use as a base for the sea colour too.

These are nearly A3 size and unfortunately my scanner won't cope with something quite that big, so I've had to photograph and reduce them, so some of the usual clarity and texture has been lost. Maybe I like the comparative brash crudity of these images though, although the original height of the sand in the bottom one has somehow got reversed in the process, which does look rather odd.

Thought for the day

Wellness is a dynamic state of physical, emotional, spiritual, and social well-being.

Manners maketh man. And woman.

I am heartily sick of people in shops demanding money with no social niceties. I wish I could say that it is just the teenage shop assistants, but it's not.

So, I'm having a Witch Campaign.

Every time I'm asked for just an amount, with no "please", I just stand there and look quizzically at the demandee. Usually they just say the amount again. I continue to give them a Paddington hard stare, and then eventually, if they don't capitulate, say, in my iciest tones, "There's a word missing." It generally works.

Except for today.

I rarely shop in Tesco's as they don't meet my exacting Witchy Standards for either customer service or quality. But, as I needed some milk, was parked some distance from my usual Sainsbury's, and already had my art box and some other shopping to carry, I ventured in.

At the till, the cashier (early 50s, or late 40s wearing badly), rang through my 4 pints, then said, "Pound and three." I paused. Then gave her the look.

"That's one poooouuuund and threeee peeence," she said again, as if I was an imbecile. I raised my eyebrows in a way perfected over 21 years of dealing with school children. "There's a word missing," I said quietly.

"Do wot?" she demanded.

"When you asked me for the money for my milk, you missed a word off the end of your request," I said calmly. "I'm just waiting to hear it, then I'll be delighted to pay you."

"You funny in the 'ead?" she said.

"No, I'm just trying to uphold some standards of common politeness in our society."

"Well you'll wait a bloody long time then!"

Needless to say, after I just stood there looking at her, she rang her bell, and a surly looking checkout supervisor sauntered over. I explained my problem, and the cashier was told that the word "please" was expected when making requests for money to customers. The cashier then repeated her request for £1.03, with the most contrived inflection on "please" that you could possibly imagine, which, sadly, the supervisor let her get away with. I couldn't help saying, as I walked away, "See, being polite wasn't that painful, was it?"

I just couldn't be bothered to expend more time and demand to see the Store Manager.

The whole experience just reminded me of why I don't shop in Tesco normally.

And it will make me even more determined to carry on with my Witch Manners Campaign.

World AIDS Day 2004

This year’s World AIDS Campaign, which culminates today, explores how gender inequality fuels the AIDS epidemic, and is conceived to help accelerate the global response to HIV and AIDS by encouraging people to address female vulnerability to HIV.

Close to half of 37.2 million adults living with HIV are women, according to new UNAIDS/WHO report. Figures, by region, for 2002 and 2004 are here.

In Western Europe and America women make up 25% of those infected, although in Eastern Europe it is 34%. In Sub-Saharan Africa the figure rises to 57%. Women make up 49% of those affected in the Caribbean, and 48% in North Africa and the Middle East. Surprisingly, perhaps, East Asia comes in with the lowest figure at 22%, while South-East Asia has a 30% female infection rate.

As the Aids Memorial Quilt website says,

Despite holding families and communities together, globally women and girls are often denied the basic rights of men - consequently, young women and girls are especially vulnerable to HIV through the high-risk behavior of others. In fact studies show they can be 2.5 times more likely to be HIV-infected as their male counterparts.

It's often about exploitation.

Spare a thought for them today.

"Have You Heard Me Today?
Women, Girls, HIV and AIDS: World AIDS Day 2004"

See also last year's 1st December post.

Thought for the day

Water continually dropping will wear hard rocks hollow.

- Plutarch