Blue Witch

A question of taste

Why do you have to buy supermarket premium tomatoes to get tomatoes that taste of tomato these days?

If my market man can manage to source real tomato tasting tomatoes at a sensible price, why can't the supermarkets?

Roll on a couple of months time when our own will be ready.

BW and the Spammer

Now, apart from bui1ders, who else has annoyed me recently?

Ah yes, a con-man spammer, who, earlier today, had the cheek to attempt to excuse his deplorable business practices by making out that *I* was at fault.

In the interests of not giving his company any free publicity, its details are in the comments box, which is Google-protected. Do feel free to ring up and waste his time, or send him spam, or even drop in if you are in his area...

And yes, I know that one should ignore spammers, but I am heartily sick and tired of people wasting my time. I use an ISP who filter email well, and I have nearly 600 message rules set up to block anyone who has sent more than one spam email. But, just occasionally I feel like sending a spammer, who is pretending not to be a spammer, a piece of my Witchy Mind.

Here is the original email:

----- Original Message -----

From: "josie"
To: "Blue Witch"
Sent: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 9:07 AM
Subject: Your Free Link Checking and High Rankings Offer

Hello,

I just visited your website at www.blue-witch.co.uk. Below I have provided you with a no charge service related to your website.

Just so you know, this is one-time mailing sent by a person (me!) who
has visited your website. I have not added you to any list.

For your no charge service I conducted a link check for your website. I searched on Google for link:http://www.blue-witch.co.uk and found that you have 850 websites linking to you that are in Google's database (try it, you can see lists of websites that are linking to any other website by doing this).

As you may be aware, by getting more links to your website you can
achieve much better rankings on Google, Yahoo and MSN and thereby attract more customers. Getting websites linking to you is extremely time consuming but is essential to achieve top search engine rankings.

This is where you will really benefit from our service. Using your
chosen search terms (we can help you select these if you like) we can achieve your top 10 rankings on Google, Yahoo, MSN. We do this by using a combination of tried and tested "off-site" (getting websites linking to you) and "on-site" techniques.

So confident are we, that once your account is opened, we provide you
with a "money back plus" guarantee should we not obtain the top 10 rankings you require.

We have already been very successful in obtaining top 10 rankings on Google, Yahoo and MSN for our clients and would be pleased to show you examples.

We are highly confident we can achieve the same success for you.

For further details please either phone us 24/7 on [the number in the comments box] or send an email to John at [a spam company who pretend not to be]john@optimaloptimization.com who will be happy to provide you with all the necessary details for you to make an informed decision.

Best Regards
Josie Ji

[a spam company who pretend not to be]
Search Engine Placement, Link Campaigns, Internet Marketing, Website
Stats Sofware, Search Engine Placement Software, Website Design, E-commerce, Hosting and Website Management. All Your Web Needs Under One Roof.

Approved by the UK Government Department for Education & Skills as a
Registered Supplier of Interactive Web Applications for Schools.

PLEASE NOTE: This email is not *spam, it was manually sent by an individual their sole purpose being to introduce ourselves to you with no obligation on your part, your email address has not been added to any list. We consider this to be a polite way to contact you and apologise sincerely if you have been inconvenienced in any way. Whilst this is the only email you will receive from me, and I again confirm you are not on a list of any kind with us, I am legally obliged to offer an 'opt-out' from future mailings from me; should you wish to exercise this right, please reply with "opt-out" in the subject field.

*Defined officially as, sent in bulk, automated and unsolicited (must be all 3 to be spam).

(my red font - to emphasize the pathetic excuse for "spam", and lie about it not being spam)

*thinks*

I know people at the DfES... I wonder whether they'd be happy to discover spammers using their credentials in this way?

*tap, tap, tap, email gone*

And, how come its a "free offer" at the beginning of the email, but there's a "money-back guarantee". Free = no money, non? I hate liars. And people who try to con people.

-----Original Message-----

From: Blue Witch

To: [spam company]

Sent: 30 May 2006 11:10

Subject: Re: Your Free Link Checking and High Rankings Offer

Hmmmm.
*If* you visited you'd know that my site is *a blog* and IF you'd done your research properly you'd know I am already (accidentally, with no effort) a Google 5, and top of almost every return for any words related to my title. And even for things I'd prefer not to be in.

Please go waste someone else's time.

Finding an HONEST job, rather than attempting to rip people off in this way would be a start...

And yes, I consider this IS SPAM.
You are in my spells.

BW

And then... guess what? Little Josie Ji, who'd ostensibly sent the email, got all scared because she thought I was doing spells to stop her evil, and got her boss to email me back. Making out that it was all my fault and that I was behaving unethically!!

----- Original Message -----

From: "John"
To: "Blue Witch"
Sent: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 1:01 PM
Subject: Apology RE: Your Free Link Checking and High Rankings Offer

Hi BW,

Josie has passed me your email because she had made a mistake in her work - one of her strongest virtues is her honesty and integrity.

She was also worried by your last sentence.

For this mistake, on behalf of Josie and my company, I apologise
sincerely for any inconvenience we may have caused you, and would also like to reiterate that you were not found on (or are not on) a list of any kind with us. However, I hope I have gone some way to change your mind as to whether Josie's email was spam or not - either way, she has got a 'proper job', she doesn't 'rip people off' and her dedication, enthusiasm and passion for and on behalf of her clients is remarkable.

There is one thing that concerns me though, whilst my sincere apology
for the above is genuine, I was always under the impression that people like you and I are not involved in a punishment system with our way of life, nor are we to bandy spells about to those that can feel particularly afraid of us.

In closing, I wish you well BW, and that you find a clearer, more useful and fulfilling path for your gift.

John Power
Director
[spam company, details in the Google-protected comments]

Well, I was quite incensed by that.
A spammer, attempting to make money from gullible people, considering that I'm like him, and telling *me* to be ethical. For goodness sake.

So I replied.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Blue Witch"

To: "John"

Sent: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 1:12 PM

Subject: Re: Apology RE: Your Free Link Checking and High Rankings Offer

Your cheek is totally and utterly beyond belief.

Sending unsolicited email is *always* spam.
It does not have to be bulk email, or sent by an automated system.
There is *no* excuse for it whatsoever, and it is *not* an ethical way to do business.

Replying to an email of annoyance sent by me as a recipient of your spam in the way you have - attempting to put the onus for the wrongdoing onto me - is quite preposterous.

"You are in my spells" is a phrase I reserve for people and companies who deliberately attempt to mislead and make money from other people's ignorance - for example, conning people with commercial websites to think that they need to pay people to get them higher up rankings.

It'll make a great subject for a blog later, mind, so, thanks (and there won't be any free publicity for you either).

/subject

He sensibly didn't reply.
But, given that I told him I'd be blogging the story, I'm awaiting his comments in the box below with baited breath.
I can't wait to hear the further lies and excuses and reframing to his advantage that he will attempt to come up with.

Nor can my friend at the DfES...

Scum of the earth these people who send spam.
Don't you agree?

More bui1ding frustration

I've appointed a new Foreman.

Or rather, Forecat.

Given the amount of time she spends charging around up in the new bit anyway, and the fact that she matches the surroundings quite well, I've put the GT&W Familiar in charge.

Because the person left in charge by Chief Bui1der when he went off on his hols for 10 days last Thursday night has so far:

• Caused the brand new aerial, and its pole, to be bent, probably beyond repair (he didn't have the decency to say what had happened either, presumably hoping we wouldn't notice, but we did, because we're taking pictures... hopefully only for for posterity, but you just never know... at the end of each working day).

• Put holes through another 2 ceilings (so that's every downstairs ceiling now needing repairing/replastering).

• Left a 12 foot long piece of removed UPVC fascia in such a stupid position on the roof that it got blown down in the high winds over the weekend, narrowly missing Mr BW.

• Decided not to work yesterday, even though Chief Bui1der said he would be.

• Allowed the 2 extra chippes, bought in from today to speed things up, to turn up nearly an hour late.

• Allowed all 4 workmen here to have a 40 minute tea break this morning.

• Allowed loud music to emanate from a radio that is plugged into our electricity (we have 'no radios' written into the contract).

• Allowed one of the new chippies to sing at the top of his voice, in the most untunerful manner imagineable, so it can be heard through 2 closed doors in my Inner Coven, where I'm attempting to work.

Now, Mr BW, who has been granted an additional day's holiday today in recognition of an exceptional year's results, so is also here, is firmly of the opinion that I should let them get on with it and say nothing as it will affect the quality and speed of the work. However, I do have to cope with another 3 days of this lot before Chief Bui1der gets back.

This is Chief Bui1der who still hasn't arranged the plastic workmen's site toilet that he promised, so I still have nasty smelly bottomed bui1ders using my facilities. Or rather, abusing my facilities. I desperately want to tell the worst offender that, given the smell his insides consistently make, he needs to see a doctor, and urgently...

The bloke left in charge (whose name is Fred - which reminds me of a song from my youth; I'm sure some of you will know the one) is already ignoring me as I expressed more than a little annoyance to him last Thursday when a complete hole about 8" square appeared in the dining room ceiling, without apology or explanation...

Oh, workmen. I wish I knew how to handle them.

The picture of the roof inside shows the new beams that are going in, and the old ones (about half way down), which are either being used as foundations for attaching the new ones, or are to be cut out as soon as progress allows. We're cutting up all the removed and waste wood, for winter firewood, rather than have it go to landfill. Our woodpile in the drive is most impressive, and growing.

Last night the towels and bowls that have been a feature of the kitchen, utility and dining room floors for the past month were joined by the newly-planted hanging baskets and trays of young plants that we had to hastily bring in. After hailing twice during the day, it got down to 2 degrees C here last night. Unheard of here at the end of May.

It's a veritable obstacle course round here.
I trust your Bank Holiday weekend was less adventurous and tiring than ours...

I've discovered...

... why The Cybermen walk how they do.

They've been doing gardening all day.
And then swimming.

The first day for weeks that it hasn't done any of that wet stuff (daren't say the 'r' word or it will do some more, and I really, really, don't want more soggy rugs).

Now there's an idea...

Pupil BW: How is the bui1ding work going this week BW?

Me: Weeeeell... they are getting on, and they've used half a forest up there this week, but there's still water pouring through two of our ceilings every time it rains, and there is now significant damage to all 6 of the ceilings in the original part of the house.

Pupil BW: *pauses and looks pensive* Are you going to shoot them BW?

Response times

I know I'm getting less and less tolerant of poor service as I get older. And now, I have absolutely no qualms at all about saying something about it, politely, but assertively. Which often seems to result in less than the polite and apologetic response I expect (and that one would have received in the past). Grumpy Old Woman, moi? Surely not? ;)

If cashiers or shop assistants stand around talking rather than serving me, or go off to answer a phone before they have finished dealing with me, or if checkout staff in supermarkets scan items so fast there's a build up, I'll be commenting.

A few things have happened recently that make me want to put pen to paper and complain to the most senior level of a couple of major companies. In my experience, letters get read at a different level to emails or phone calls, and action often ensues.

Before I do (and I'll post the letters and any responses here when I find time to write), I'd just like to compare my perception of what is acceptable to yours.

How long do you feel it is acceptable to have to wait:

1. For an answer to an email about a problem sent to a commercial company?

2. To be served in a shop while the assistant attends to paperwork?

3. In a phone queue waiting to talk to someone in a call centre?

More Chelsea Pics

Chelsea: Ferns and graffiti

Here's another example of metal sculpture from Chelsea. This time a large silvered fern frond amongst grasses and ferns.
*wants one*

Plenty of such items around and about this year, both incorporated into the show gardens, and for sale.

Plants putting in major appearances in the show gardens this year included irises, stipa gigantea (a large, dainty, feathery grass with oat-like heads), feathery fronds of fennel (both bronze and green), tall alliums, and white and mauve/purple geraniums.

Lots of purpley mauvey colourways (that's as near to blue as my spells/nature could manage ;)) and lots of grasses in mixed planting schemes. And a definite, and pleasing, trend to drought resistant silvery-leaved plants.

And lo, what did I spy on a gate on one of the specialist wood carving stands but graffiti. Not content with making his mark via blogging, it appears that someone may be doing a Banksy...
What do we think people?



Overnight water ingress from last night's storm: About a gallon. And now also coming in through the utility ceiling. Fab.

I think I might start a little feature... guess how much rain will fall inside The Coven each night...

Chelsea: Artisan Blacksmithing

Had we, and the area in a 10 mile radius around, not had a power cut for most of the afternoon, and had we not had torrential rain which resulted in water coming in yet another place in the kitchen ceiling, and had the Bui1ders BW not had to do an emergency removal of the 3 ceiling props in the kitchen to the Coven Lounge, in order to prevent a major catastrophe involving a quarter tonne steel beam and that ceiling, pictures of Chelsea might have appeared earlier.

I have a suspicion that if I don't stop drinking until this Coven Enlargement Project is over, I might end up with a very damaged liver...

Mr BW has been up the scaffo1ding into the new bit this evening and says its huuuuge, "Like a cathedral!"

The top one is a portion of a fabulous metre-wide dandelion clock, the lower one a decorative orb holder (that would work well as an outdoor table leg methinks), and the one on the right a huge metal grass in a sea of grasses - all the sort of things Mr BW might one day make, if his current interests continue...

Chelsea and Rain

484MB of data from Chelsea just transferred. That's 225 images. I'll be posting a few choice examples over the next few days once I've had a chance to look through them properly.

Yes, it was a great day, despite the intermittent rain. My "I want" list of plants has increased by five or six.

And yes, the house was still standing when we returned about 10pm, and not, for the first day in ages, in pools of internal water. Chief Bui1der BW has decided (after a lesson in economics/comparative costs - human as well as financial - from me) to get us waterproof by throwing labour rather than complete tin roofs at the project (which would take the scaffo1ders 3 days to put on top of the existing scaffolding, during which time our bui1ders couldn't work, and they'd have to remove the Aga chimney and the TV aerial, and the scaffo1ders couldn't start until next week, after the Bank Holiday anyway, when, maybe, hopefully, pretty please, whoever's in charge of water fall on England, the weather might possibly improve), and so we have not only the top men from his own teams, including the foreman from his other team, but also a whole load of the other top craftsmen from the district working here now.

So, it's a hive of activity on the roof as well as in the Coven Orchard where the stripey buzzzy familiars live. And this is serious activity, none of the half-hearted working and extended tea breaks that have been seen in the past. This is Mr BW quickness of working, which is faaast. Which is a relief.

And I leave you with 2 pictures: the first Alan Titchmarsh, recording a piece for last night's show from Chelsea (which you may have seen), and the second proof that it's not only the Bui1ders BW who rely on black plastic in rainy times.

This is the head of a huge BBC outside broadcast crane camera. 30 or 40 thousand pounds worth of camera. Covered in a thin black plastic rubbish bag. You'd think they could afford a proper waterproof cover, wouldn't you?

Monday

Today was a ******* ******** day.

Tomorrow we are going to Chelsea (winners here).
We may or may not have a house to come back to.
I am not joking.

I have 5 pages of A4 of closely written notes about everything that has happened today. It does not bear repetition.

Let's just say, despite the bui1der's very best efforts (and he's only just gone home), there is still water ******* through the ceilings due to the wind and gales, and the *whole* of the roof now has to come off due to structural alterations required because Idiot Always Late Arch1tect is.

Apologies to anyone who has sent email recently expecting/needing a reply. I don't see it happening any time soon.

Thought for the day

Once you know someone's heart is in something and you trust their integrity you can disagree as much as you want.

- Camila Batmanghelidjh

Some pictures of The Coven Enlargement Project

For those who've asked...

This is Mr BW's scale model of what we are making:

The big triangle at the front is almost all glass. The bit with the dormer window on the right is the shower room. The people shaped objects with glue-blob bases appearing just to the left of the centre triangle are me and Mr BW. We are apparently made to scale too, but we're a bit too tall for how it will be eventually (as the roofline is being raised another 6+" during the building).

It's going to be sitting on what was part f1at roof and part the extensive loft space over the single storey (older) part of The Coven:

Well, this is the structure causing all the problems. For some idea of scale - it's over 7 metres between the legs of the triangle, and 9 or so front to rear. The 354kg beam that has to be craned out, and a new one in again, is the one going down the back of the roof (not the horizontal bit joined onto it, which is going to be held somehow while it's unbolted and then rebolted). Since Thursday the big triangle has also had more plastic down its sides. Not that it's worked...

There are now holes in every ceiling for the water to run through (to relieve the pressure and so hopefully reduce the possibility of the ceiling becoming the floor) and plastic bowls and old towels are very useful below. Thank goodness for the Aga - the towels have taken it in shifts to be in, on, round, over, to dry off.

I've played with the balance on that one so you can see the cracks, the wet and the holes more clearly against the white of the ceiling. This is the kitchen, and the supporting pillars are temporary, put there earlier in the week to support the work/ers on the flat roof. We can currently open the dishwasher fully, but not the fridge. I now know how easy it is (or isn't...) to get an unset cheesecake through a fridge door that can't open more than half-way :)

And during the night there were gales and rain...

I've always wanted a lake at The Coven.

Just not in the kitchen.

6.40am this morning I got up to make tea. 6.40 and 10 seconds later, I was saying, quite calmly, to Mr BW, "Erm, I'm really sorry dear, but I think you're going to have to get up too..."

Mr BW laughs at my hoarding of old towels.
Believe me, you can never have too many old towels.

How many bui1ders, scaffo1ders and e1ectricians can one Coven cope with on a Saturday?

Next instalment

Never, ever, ever, in the nearly 11 years we've been at The Coven have we had gale force winds at The Coven for over 17 hours. Except yesterday afternoon onwards. Which would have been fine were there not huge (and I mean huge) swathes of protective plastic covering our erection (erm, yes, a month to the day since the scaffo1ding went up, they've finally started getting it up).

Luckily no water got in last night, although the night before was a different story - it's taken out all the lights on one circuit. Which was fine until the burglar alarm (which wasn't set, but is on the turned off circuit) decided to go off at some point last the night for about half an hour - presumably in protest at the lack of power. I'm jolly pleased there are no near neighbours.

Despite the noise (sawing, metal grinding, banging), I was so exhausted yesterday that Cleaner BW put me back to bed when she arrived at 9am; I put in my ear plugs and I slept solidly until 2.30pm. It's amazing how mentally and physically exhausting all this is. Mr BW had one day of it on Tuesday when the steel beams, but not the crane to move them, turned up, and looked shattered when I arrived home from my art course. "I haven't been able to get anything done all day!" he wailed (he was meant to be working from home). "Welcome to my world!" I thought. Still, only 8 weeks to go...

Today I'm playing, "Guess how many workmen there will be today?" (there were 6 or 7 yesterday) and, "Which ceiling will the next lump fall out of?" There is now not a single ceiling in the original single-storey bit that is being built upon that doesn't have a crack, a lump missing, or alarming bulges. Chief Bui1der assures me that he will get it all fixed, so I've just got to be patient. It's likely that last year's reskimming saga will have to be repeated *shudders*.

I'm sitting typing this in the lounge on the wireless laptop, and the bui1ders are inspecting the night's damage. I've counted 22 naughty words so far... They don't know I can hear every word!

And, oh no, they've just started dissecting Big Brother (is it just me, or does the centre of that new eye that has been all around towns on billboards for a couple of weeks, look like the wool board trademark? - I thought it was a new advert for woolly jumpers when I first saw it!!)

I'll get some pics up later.

1pm yesterday

The stee1 beams arrived.
Yes, they really, finally, do exist.
All 10 of them.
Nearly 3 weeks late, but, they do exist.
Mr BW took this photo.

What happened next?

Thought for the day

Rome wasn't built in a day, so why should The Coven Extension be any different?

More Artfulness

Well, I had fun today, even if Mr BW didn't. Of which more anon.

And my programme for Chelsea (we're going next Tuesday) arrived in the post during my absence today. *purrrrs with anticipatory contentment*

I was fascinated by this photo of a dandelion that NiC posted a couple of weeks ago.

So fascinated that I printed it out and filed it in my art file. I didn't realise until just now when I looked for the link that my print pushed it off-centre.

Anyway... it must have been playing around in my sub-conscious because when I was scrambling around looking for pictures of flowers for today's abstract art course early this morning, I remembered the print and picked it out of my file.

It must have been the Fibonacci sequence as applied to flowers that appealed to me as a pattern.

And so, from NiC's inspiration (for which many thanks), this - sort of acrylic paint-y, and gold crepe paper-y and overpainted tissue paper-y, and corrugated carboard-y - came into being (it's about 30" square):

I have a feeling that someone is going to be after me for royalties. But, I'm clean out of Witchy Pennies, thanks to the Bui1ders BW - I'll have to pay in h0ney, or blue eggs, OK? ;)

Oh, and those are dandelion leaves, not FOTCR™ trees, just in case there's any doubt at all. And nice BW Blue, don't you think?

A spell went right for once...

Currently at Number 2 on a Google of 'Cants' (and an IP in my stats today that logs to Colchester led me to it...).

Must have been the porcine assistance (thanks both :)):

I wonder if the woman at Cants still thinks her comments and reaction to my dead rose were worthwhile? Now the whole world knows just how bad Cants roses are, and just what the reaction will be if they have one that fails.

I desperately want to say "fuck you!" But I'll resist. Oh, did I really say that out loud? Naughty, naughty Witch ;)

Quality blogging

Did the stee1 beams arrive yesterday as they should have?
Of course not.
No surprise there then.
But, apparently, they are coming today.
As is a crane.
Because the biggest beam has put on weight - it is now 354kg.

I've had enough though and am off to be abstract somewhere far enough away not to be able to get back when the crane drops a beam through the roof of my Inner Coven, or takes out the overhead telephone line (luckily not the broadband one) or the electricity wires. Mr BW has rearranged things and is able to work from home, so he's in charge today. Potentially the most exciting day of the project, but one I'm jolly glad I shall only be seeing in pictures.

For those of you bored with me wittering on about bui1ders... we were too tired to cook properly by the time we'd finished cutting up the rest of the old floorboards and roof trusses last night (I finally finished stacking the stove-sized pieces at 9.25pm and it was almost too dark to see by then), so we had basil tortellini with olive oil and parmesan cheese, followed by yoghurt, for dinner. I had peach and passion fruit. Mr BW had strawberry. For those of you who like Value, Aldi are doing a new-ish range of fresh pasta in small packets: 69p a packet. Excellent, excellent, excellent. One pack would serve 2 with a salad, or one if you're really hungry. The probiotic yoghurts are only 19p at the moment too.

What did you have for dinner last night?

Coven Enlargement Project: Progress Report

I NEVER, ever, worked so very hard - in my head as well as my body - as I did when I had some work done on the house five years ago. Worst was the constant worry that the workers would do something wrong (they did) to which they will not admit (they wouldn't) and that will be irreversible (it was).

Nearly 4 weeks into a 12 week project, so little has happened that it is unbelievable. Although apparently they are still going to be finished when they say they will. Not least because we have made it very clear that 50 Nice Ladies are turning up for the Annual Nice Ladies BBQ in the last week in July, and if they can't turn up, because the place is still a bui1ding site, no doubt will be left in the minds of anyone within a 10 mile radius as to why that is.

I cannot believe how slowly bui1ders work (no exaggeration, Mr BW could do before lunch what 3 of them do in a day). Considering that the actual footprint of The Coven is not changing, and all the work is onto the existing structure, so far all that has happened is that they have removed half our pointy roof and the flat roof, put in a 5 metre water pipe below ground and a 1 metre connection into the septic tank, and provided a load of excuses for why the supporting stee1 beams essential for the next stage have taken two weeks more than they should have to turn up.

On Friday Chief Bui1der was treated to Witchy Iciness of the first degree. I finally had enough of all the messing about. I don't think he could quite believe how I changed from a Nice, Funny, Accommodating and Reasonable Witch into a Monosyllabic, Unsmiling, Ordering and Insisting Witch. Strangely, all the things I'd been mentioning for days as needing attention magically got rectified during the afternoon while I was out working.

I have a line of what I will put up with, and it got crossed.
Chief Bui1der said to me, "You've made me feel like I'm 10 again today BW!" to which I replied, "Only 10 Chief Bui1der? Damn, I've failed then."

We have neighbours who are at the initial stages of planning an extension. Mr Neighbour made Mr BW laugh on Saturday when he said that they may use the same bui1ders as us, "But we'll wait and see what you think of them because we know you won't take any nonsense." Too true.

It's not only the limited light coming into many rooms due to the scaffo1ding, or the invasion of my physical space, that I find exhausting. I know it's only human curiosity that makes one of them be looking into any window I'm passing at any time, but it's still very wearing to feel constantly watched as one moves around one's own home.

The worst effect is undoubtedly the mental one. The whole time I'm wondering what they're going to (unintentionally) do to make life more difficult next - where they're going to put a skip or a delivery of beams so that we can't get both cars into the drive, where they're going to put scaffolding so we can't open the windows, where the internal props for the kitchen roof are being placed so we can't open cupboards or load and unload the dishwasher, what isn't going to get swept up properly so that it gets into a Familiar's paw, or clay-y mud onto the carpet... oh I could go on, but I won't becuase it makes me tired just having to think about thinking for them.

I'm sure it would be much easier if I wasn't here a lot of the time - but, on several occasions, if I hadn't been here, disaster would have ensued. Plus, I'd arranged my work so that I could be here most of the time for the first month, when the structure should have been going up. With the delays, the structure is starting to go up *touches wood and does spell* this week. And guess what? As this is week 4, I'm not going to be here much. 134kg of steel beam could very easily do a lot of damage, as it's moved off the delivery lorry up onto the roof of our Coven, couldn't it? (as could the other dozen beams of lesser weights)

When I do want to go out, I can't just grab keys and go as I normally do. I have to think 20 minutes ahead every time. Which isn't easy if you're me. I've asked them so many times not to park their vans so I can't get out of the drive, but do they listen? No. Then I need to ascertain what they're going to do while I'm out, so I can work out what needs moving or protecting, or whether to take the washing in or leave it out, and what time they are going to lunch, or home, in order to ensure that someone is specifically tasked with locking up (I've already found that if I leave it to them in general, each assumes it's someone else's job, and I'd rather the leaving the back door open experience wasn't repeated, because next time we may not be so lucky...).

And then there's the impossible task of guessing which item that we're sourcing they might be going to need next. In an attempt to get exactly what we want, and save a considerable amount of money by not just using one main supplier (as a bui1der does if you rely on him to get things for you), we are sourcing most of the electrical and ironmongery items and the sanitaryware and other miscellanea. As we also don't want piles of it hanging around The Coven in the limited amount of space we have at present, it's a constant balancing act of required date v delivery times v storage space. And it's only going to get worse.

The only thing that has made me feel better is the beginning of the radish season last week. Nothing can beat a home-grown radish.

Witchy Prediction

*gazes into crystal ball*

Hmmm....

I predict that this afternoon will be a good time to go out if you don't like crowds ;)

Tabloid blogging (or - how to roll 30 potential blog posts into one and do none of them justice)

At risk of sounding like a Daily Mail reader (aside - if you want to generate your own Daily Mail style headline, go here) I honestly don't know what this country is coming to (or should that be, "to what this country is coming"?).

We appear to be allowing hijackers to live here because they got off the hijacking charges due to legal bungling, not to know who is in our prisons or that they should be considered for deportation on release, the lives of several (many?) of our highest political representatives are a moral disgrace, we don't allow asylum seekers (often with many skills and a keenness to contribute) to work so have to keep them, and we're spending no-one seems to know (admit?) how much money on pointlessly murdering people in someone else's war in Iraq. And then there's the new cabinet... in charge of the Home Office we have John Reid, who I've heard referred to on TV several times this week as, "the man who could start a fight in an empty room." What an excellent example...

And yet... education and health in this area are in the biggest mess I can remember. I personally know of 6 children who still have no allocated secondary school place for September; one child who should be having home tuition who isn't as the education department apparently can't find a suitable tutor who is CRB checked; children who are being denied access to specialist educational services to which they are legally entitled because there are staff on long-term sick leave and no funds to provide locum cover; a woman who has spent her whole life working with the most disadvataged children in this area, for little more than minimum wage, having to wait 4 weeks for a mastectomy (funding crisis - so staff and bed cuts); blood test results are taking 3 weeks; urgent biopsies 2 and a half weeks; smear test results over (*counts on calendar*) 11 weeks; NHS dentists are charging £30 on top of the treatment cost for emergency appointments (and apparently their new contracts allow them to do this).

Meanwhile, at national level, no sensible strategic thought and regulation is being given to matters of huge importance to the future of this planet - like insisting on a reduction in packaging of all products, and that every last piece of what is essential is recyclable (they've been recycling all plastic in Germany for at least 15 years, so why can't we do it here?), and using alternative, sustainable, forms of energy and fuel. There is now a regulation about how hot domestic hot water can be allowed to get - but our regulations on the energy efficiency and energy generation ability of new buildings are still some of the lowest in Europe (according to my tame local Bui1ding Inspector). Transport in rural areas is a huge mess, and there is no way that public transport can ever realistically be made available to meet needs so, why is nothing being officially done to help set up local networks of people willing to share journeys?

I would suggest that our current government have brought in so many new laws and regulations in an attempt to regulate everything we, the people in the street, do because they are trying to detract from the fact that they don't know what the hell they are doing at a meta level. In fact, there are so many new pieces of legislation that even the police can't keep up with them all.

Is it any wonder that people in the counties are angry?

This week I've heard several people say things that in the past I would have challenged on the grounds of political correctness. But, I didn't... because, in the light of all the anomalies mentioned above, I honestly couldn't justify my challenges.

When the lives of people I know, in my local community, are being unacceptably disrupted or shortened because (despite having the highest rates of taxation ever in this country) there apparently isn't the money to pay for the services they need, but yet the government continue to pump millions into war, and funding legal aid for drug dealers, terrorists and asylum seekers, I am angry. I cannot imagine that most people would support these uses of their money, yet they have no effective say in it.

I am angry that most people don't feel they can stand up and ask why, or that they have a right to challenge the system. I'm angry that most people just shrug and feel that there is nothing they could, or should, do.

And I'm angry that when those few of us who do believe that public figures, and public bodies, and public service providers, should be accountable, ask questions, we don't get answers, or action, but rather flannel, and waffle, and pathetic excuses at best, or redirection of the problem onto ourselves at worst.

So much money being taken from us, so much money being wasted on pointless bureaucracy and inefficient systems that just are not able to provide what people need.

So, OK, this post does sound like a Daily Mail rant, because I haven't got the time or desire to find links or expand on every point I'm making. But, I can assure you, there are links and stories and sensible thinking behind every single point I've raised.

Something has got to change in this country, and soon. I'm a pretty liberal and free-thinking person, probably the most liberal amongst the people I know personally, so if *I* feel like this, there are many, many others who feel much more strongly.

It's a ticking bomb, and one that I don't think can be fully appreciated by those who live in urban areas, because the culture, and heritage, is very, very different in the counties (and remember, it wasn't the counties who voted last week).

Thought for the day

If your imagination leads you to understand how quickly people grant your requests when those requests appeal to their self-interest, you can have practically anything you go after.

- Napoleon Hill

The Apprentice?

Nah - The Fix!

As revealed back in February by Naked Jen in Santa Cruz, who has contacts.

Mr BW watched it.
I didn't.
Because I really, really despise all the sort of bitching and insulting and back-stabbing that goes on in this sort of situation. Why would I want to try to 'entertain' myself with it?

And besides, I already knew who'd win - after all Michelle was already working for Amstrad.

I don't read tabloids either.
Does anyone know if they picked up the story Jen tells?

I think that all this sort of programme ever really shows it that if you believe enough in yourself (even if you're no better than the next person at something - and in many cases, when you're a whole lot worse) and have a good line in bullshit (and, often, aren't too concerned how you carry on in the, *coughs* let's say, sexual favours department), you'll be successful. I suspect that having 'variable' personal morality and ethics also help a bit. And I'm sure we all know of people like that...

Info request

I'm currently a bit stuck sourcing a few things required for The Project.

Knowing what a knowledgeable lot BW readers are, I thought I'd try asking if anyone had any ideas/leads on the following:

1. Where to get a 2 foot by 3 foot (approx) slab of granite or York stone to use as a hearth (doesn't need to be more than an inch or so thick) at a sensible price (ie not places that cut/supply trendy granite worktops, or places that make headstones, or reclaim yards - tried all of those, they want silly money - ie £220-£350).

2. Vinyl flooring - good quality, 'wood effect' type (while we'd like wood, it will be too clip-cloppy and echo-y, and totally impractical for use in a messy/wet environment with all the miniscule joints between planks). Anyone know any good brands of vinyl, or brands to avoid? (needs to be around 6m square - which I suspect unfortunately means joining it - although it shouldn't show too much given the chosen pattern)

3. Where to get a reasonably priced - maybe second hand - A1 or A0 size plan chest - either wood or metal (I've tried a few second-hand office furniture places but they say they are like gold-dust and those they do get in are often very damaged).

Anywhere in London/South East/East Anglia would be fine for any of those. I don't want to buy unseen, so e-Bay (or anywhere else online that doesn't have a physical outlet) is definitely not an option.

Thought for the day

All religion begins with the cry "Help!"

- William James

It's not easy being blue green

One thing I hate about blogland is when a blog you've enjoyed reading for a while suddenly picks up some idiot commentators. By 'idiot commentators' I mean the sort who attack the person rather than the view. The sort generally (but - unfortunately - not exclusively) found in the comment boxes of political blogs, particularly those based in the XSofA. I think that's enough on that subject. But, it's a shame, and experience has taught me to just walk away and find somewhere else to read.

Tonight on The Man With The Moustache they will be installing the exact so1ar water heating system that is currently sitting in boxes under our dining table waiting for the day we again have a roof upon which it can be installed.

Mr Moustache now has a page listing all the suppliers he's using, which is great as it's not always easy to find the small companies, who will supply bits for DIY installations, on a Google search.

Thought for the day

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law.

- Winston Churchill

Progress

I always fancied a stream flowing past The Coven.

I never actually did a spell to achieve that end, mind, because I was aware of the room for things to go wrong.

But, with the rain that has fallen here today, the 60cm deep ditch awaiting the water pipe for the new supply (and that picture is only half of it) has flooded. And - our water pipe turns out to be non-standard (even for the time it was installed) and so difficult to join into. Oh joy. At least Chief Bui1der realised before he cut it, and our water supply, off at nearly the end of the bui1ding day.

Hairdresser BW almost fell in the ditch as she came to the front door as Apprentice Bui1der had gone for his teabreak without covering up the trench as he was told to. And earlier when I was out swimming he left without locking the back door. I have an idea that 'Apprentice' might always be his future...

The septic tank is now behaving itself *touch wood* and we have the new greywater system 'installed' to water the lawn with utility sink and washing machine water. If it kills the grass we'll know it wasn't a good idea. A further greywater supply from the art sink and new shower will be set up to water the flower borders. Red paint = red flowers, blue paint = blue flowers... just imagine the fun I'll be able to have...

Replacement Cutting Roller: Bosch AXT 2200 HP

About my little accident with the garden shredder at the weekend:

Customer Relations Director
Bosch Service Centre
Robert Bosch Ltd.
P.O. Box 98
Broadwater Park
Denham, Middlesex
UB9 5HJ

8th May 2006

Dear Sir or Madam

Re: Bosch AXT 2200 HP

A few weeks ago I purchased one of these shredders from a local garden machinery dealer.

Yesterday, the third time we had used it, I was shredding dead tree fern fronds. I placed the secateurs I was using on the flat surface next to the on/off switch and turned around to get another handful of the material I was shredding to feed. While my back was turned, the vibration must have caused the secateurs to fall into the machine. It cut off, but not before it had taken a half-10p sized chunk out of every blade of the cutting roller. All the other surrounding parts are still fine.

My dealer, ******** of ********, inform me that this part is only available as part of a whole set, at a cost of £101 plus VAT. I rang your advice line and they confirmed that the part cannot be bought alone.

I note from the plans on your website (referred to in the instruction book) that the part has a number crossed out, so presumably it was once available as a separate item?

I am shocked and horrified at the price of this essential spare part - more than half the cost of the machine. As it says in the instructions, once the machine stops cutting properly, it will need replacing again. Had I known that the main part likely to need replacing was £119, I would *never* have bought this machine.

I do not understand (a) why the part is not available separately (I can imagine that foreign objects fall in and wreck the blade quite regularly) and (b) why it is so expensive (considering that there is also a hefty motor, gearing, cabling, switching, plastic casing parts etc).

I await your comments with interest.

Yours faithfully

Mrs Blue Witch

I am looking forward to receiving their reply/excuse for extortion...

Thought for the day

You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.

- Mahatma Gandhi

Chip Choppy

After probably 18 or 20 years of sterling service, for first Mummy and Daddy Mr BW, and then for us, this trusty garden chipper (pictured in the drive shortly before its removal to its final resting place - the Bui1ders skip - although, I did make Mr BW remove the legs first as they will be useful sturdy supports for 'something' down the line) gave up the ghost a couple of months back. The bearings finally gave in, and no amount of engineering, or spells, could revive them.

It was always rather too small for our needs, but, secateurs and patience allowed practically everything organic to be reduced to fine choppings for the compost heap. Years ago, I sent off for a brochure for one of those petrol-driven ones they show in ads in smallholding magazines, without prices, and quickly recycled it when I saw they were £1,500 plus VAT and delivery.

Anyway, having attempted to replace it with a cheappie from Argos, which we broke within the first 30 minutes of use, we finally invested in one of these (although at a Value price, I hasten to add).

It works like a dream. Pulls braches through. Works very quickly (at least 10 times faster than the previous model). No effort. Beautifully quiet. (595Nm torque and shreds up to 140kg per hour for those of you who like such facts).

Until yesterday. Day 83 of its residence with us, and only the third time we have used it. When it worked too well, and ate the secateurs. Themselves the best pair we have ever owned.

It did switch itself, as it's meant to, but not before it had taken a chunk the size of half a 10p out of every blade of the drum cutter.

While it still works, it doesn't chop, just mangles. However, the secateurs, while having bent blades, amazingly do still cut. It pays to buy quality! If anyone needs to cut things curved, just let me know...

Now, if *only* I had paid for it using one of the several credit cards that offer 100 days free insurance against loss or damage, I would now be laughing, wouldn't I? Instead it's going to be £40 + VAT for a new drum. "Oh they eat tools quite often!" the man in the local garden machinery centre said when I rang to order the replacement part. Maybe I should order 2 new cutting drums while I'm about it?

Last Night at The Coven...

Undoubtedly this requires a caption...

Build progress

Water problems must be catching between Witches.

Yesterday the bui1ders put in the connection to the septic tank for the new soil pipe from the new shower room. Today they are digging up the path along the front of The Coven (to 60cm I'm told) for the new water supply. The two hottest days of the year so far, and Chief Bui1der has the underlings digging in our concrete/solid clay.

Meanwhile, necessity has forced us to bring forward our plan to use greywater for garden watering. The septic tank's spreader drains appear not to be doing their stuff, so we have a backlog that hasn't responded to the application of the one whole long length of rods that we possess. Therefore, until Mr BW has purchased further rods at lunchtime today, we have to wee on the compost heap, poo at work (in the case of Mr BW) or at the swimming pool (in my case), and we've turned the pipe that leads out of the utility sink (where we can just-about manage to wash up) and washing machine from the drain onto the patio. Which is now nice and clean. Mr BW is getting pipe for a more permanent re-routing system later.

The stee1 fabricators have completed the beam plan work that Idiot Always Late Arch1tect should have done, and are making the required stee1 items as we speak. We will have supporting beams some time early next week. Chief Bui1der referred to the complexity of the structure as 'meccano for adults'. I'm unsure whether to be worried.

"Torrential" rain is forecast for here for Saturday night, so if I disappear, you'll know it's either:

1. An influx of water through the still-plastic-sheeted roof has led to a power failure
2. We have cholera from our own sewage backlog
3. The bui1ders have dug through the underground phone line (which is the broadband line) while laying the new waterpipe (when I had the second line installed, BT couldn't find where the original line came in, despite 3 hours of trying, so had to put the new line in overhead; Sod's Law says that Apprentice Bui1der (the one pickaxing near where it might be) finds it quite easily...)

Thought for the day

Our political culture is managerialist rather than principled/ideas driven. Research findings aren't made known if they don't fit.

- From a professional discussion group I read

Roses? DON'T buy from Cants of Colchester!

Last summer I wrote about a visit here, where I bought a 'Rhapsody in Blue' Rose. It wasn't cheap. And it wasn't in flower. But it was the last one they had.

When I got it home the roots were very dry in the pot (it clearly hadn't been watered regularly or well-cared for in the nursery). We dug a large hole and added lots of home-made compost, and watered it in well. It didn't seem happy in the Long Border with the other shrubs, perennials and roses, but we kept it watered and fed and hoped. But it still didn't look 'right', and it didn't flower.

Over the winter it died.

Now, any decent plant nursey will replace plants that fail in their first year.

As I was going to Colchester yesterday, I pulled up the dead stump, and took it with me.

I can honestly say, that I have NEVER, EVER met such a rude person in a nursery (and I would think she was the owner) as the woman who snatched it from me, looked dismissively at it then me, before she threw it on the desk, saying, "Well, it was alive when you bought it, so therefore you must have killed it! It's not my fault you're a bad gardener!" She then refused point blank to do anything about it.

Back in 1997, we bought 2 'Ruby Wedding' standard roses (nearly £30 each, even 9 years ago), one for my parents, and one for Mr BW's. Both our mothers are exceptionally skilled gardeners, and they live in totally different parts of the country, with different soil conditions. One rose died within a few months, the other lasted just over a year.

I was talking to the Nice Ladies about my experience with Cants of Colchester last night at a committee meeting. One Nice Lady received a 'Golden Wedding' rose that came from there last summer. It too has already died.

So, we have 4 experienced gardeners, all of whom have had problems with Cants roses. A coincidence? I think not.

One of the nice ladies summed it up perfectly: "Cants of Colchester are not what they used to be!"

I guess the warning is in the name...

Thought for the day

An ideal form of government is democracy tempered with assassination.

- Voltaire

Art Class: Of Course

A couple of weeks ago I went on a 2-day art course down on the East Coast with a local artist who specialises in unusual watercolour techniques. On this occasion the subject was f1ot5am and jet5am (well, not quite that, but I'd prefer she didn't drop by unexpectedly!). On day one we had great fun learning how to make 'sand' and painting shells, rocks, seaweed, driftwood, and rusty metal objects, and I picked up lots of new ideas.

On day 2 we had to put all these things together to make a painting.

I'd brought in a heap of objets from around The Coven and its Grounds, and I set them up on a side-table and began to sketch them out (left photo). I used masking fluid to protect the object spaces from my raw sienna and yellow ochre wash (right picture), and multi-coloured spattering for the sand grains. The most fun you can have with a toothbrush!

Artist Tutor wandered over. "Small, I said small BW! Small enough to finish in one day, not 15" by 20"!" "Yes," I replied, but the space above the woodburner in my lounge where I have a very faded watercolour that needs replacing is not small, it's exactly this size! I know because Mr BW was late for work as he had to measure it up and draw out my pencil frame on this large piece of watercolour paper!" "Hmmm," she said, "I do think that's a bit adventurous, and I'm not convinced you'll ever finish it..."

By the end of the day I'd done this much. Everyone else had an A4 size completed materpiece and I had a not-very-inspiring beginning.

But, determined to prove the tutor wrong, Good Friend BW has kept me at it, and after another few hours painting with her at her kitchen table, it looked rather better.

I love the sea, and painting seascapes, or seashore objets makes me happy.

And yesterday I put in all the shadows and finished it off:

I'm going to give it an overly-wide pale cream single mount, and am considering using a couple of the beautiful old floorboards removed from The Coven Attic as a frame. Cut sympathetically, they'd look very much like driftwood, and could be waxed to a beautiful sheen (Mr BW doesn't know my requirements yet, so it's a secret, OK? ;)). I think this sort of edging would fit perfectly with the rather regimented still life composition.

Coded question

Please can anyone tell me how I can post a series of pictures, each about half a column width (210 px), into my variable size page, one under the other, when there's only a line of text to go beside each one? Using [img align= "left"] doesn't work well enough, as there isn't enough text to take you down to the bottom of the picture before the next one tries to post, and it ends up with the page in a complete mess. In the past I've just used a series of [br]s, but, with people now using so many different screen dimesnions, that doesn't work adequately.

I can't find an html command that will allow me to do that in any of my books. Does it exist?

I'm Magic!

I'm still managing to fit in swimming for half an hour on at least 4 weekdays. I seem to be creaking more rather than less, mind.

Yesterday there was a kiddies' swimming class in one side of the pool. I tend to swim flat out for 10 lengths, then take a break. Ever since I was a Small Witch I have been able to maintain a motionless position for hours, in any kind of water (salt, chlorine, the bath if it's deep enough).

"How can you float so well BW?" asked the kiddies' swimming tutor, "I have never, ever, see anyone who can float like that!"

"Ah, well, you see, I'm a Witch!" I smiled, "it's in my job description!"

Her face was a picture... and I'm just wondering if I dare put in an appearance this morning....

Thought for the day

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.

- Albert Einstein

Terminology

Just occasionally I have the pleasure of working with really, really exceptionally able children. Which makes a change from some of the rest of them who need a miracle rather than just a little magic. However.

One such child is keeping me highly entertained at the moment. And it's nice that his parents are paying me for the privilege :)

Last week he asked me what the stuff that comes out of cheese graters is called. I had to admit that I didn't know.

Do we have a word for it in English English?

Sliver? Shred? Strand?

He and I decided that we preferred the phrase 'a grate of cheese'.

Mr BW and I dislike the proper terminology for some items. For example, we prefer referring to slices of bread or cheese as 'sheets'. Viz: "Would you like one or two sheets of toast?" I think we have other personal terminology like that too. Although I can't think of it right now.

What other things lack an adequate descriptor in English?

Thought for the day

Things do not change; we change.

- Henry David Thoreau

It's just another Bank Holiday Monday

Well, it rained and it winded last night, but only a few drops of water came in, and it doesn't appear to have done any damage to the ceilings. Mr BW has readjusted the plastic sheeting today, and told me not to turn on the floodlight in the half-loft that's left, as there was water perilously near the socket. I'm not a flash Witch, and I don't intend to be, so I won't. I'm very pleased that our bedroom and the Inner Coven are in the existing 2-storey part of The Coven that isn't being altered. That plastic sheeting makes one hell of a scarily loud noise in adverse weather conditions.

Mr BW has finished putting the second coat of stain on my spinning wheel and it looks very beautiful. I was sorting out some of the bags of old textiles removed from the loft, and discovered a whole bag of wool and fleece bits left over form a previous foray into the fluffy world of sheep. Including one bag labelled "Herdwick 12p". That must be from 20-odd years ago. 12p for a bag of wool! Lots of stuff that will be very useful. Sometimes I'm glad I'm a kleptomaniac.

I spent most of the afternoon cutting up various old clothes, that were also emptied from the loft, to salvage pieces of fabric suitable for future projects, and the buttons for my button collection. One of the Nice Ladies told me recently that she only ever gets fabric for her patchwork (which is beautiful) from old clothes from jumble sales and charity shops. So, I'm cutting out the middle-man and reusing my own. The cut off scraps are going out for the recycling collection tomorrow.

In the bags I also found about 20 pairs of still-packaged tights - also from 20-odd years ago. Pale blue, mauve, red, magenta, grey, black-striped. Gosh, I was trendy once! Them was the days. I also found various skirts and trousers that I can't believe I ever fitted into. My 25 year old badminton skirt seems to be better suited to a thigh than to my waist these days. Nostalgia overcame me and I had to keep a couple of garments, just for posterity...

The GT&WF managed to walk over one of the six 2' x 2' MDF boards I was white gessoing in preparation for an abstract acrylics two-day course I'm doing in a couple of weeks. She shouldn't even have been anwyhere near where I was working, but it appears she too has a need to be artistic. I'm wondering it there is a future market here... Mr BW has a friend who paid a fortune to have some glass manufactured for one of her shower rooms with her kids' hand and foot prints in it. Maybe, just maybe.

And I also did an aquacise class, swam for 30 minutes and did an hour and a half's work work.

No wonder I'm worn out.