Blue Witch

I love imprecise use of English

----- Original Message -----

From: "Mr BW at work"
To: "BW"
Sent: Wednesday, August 30, 2006 4:30 PM
Subject: pressie store idea

> ISBN 1 85626 489 0
> Green and Blacks chocolate recipe book
>
> [one of my staff] just bought one for a friend, and it is yummy

> Mr BW
> xxx

-----Original Message-----

From: BW
Sent: 30 August 2006 17:38
To: Mr BW
Subject: Re: pressie store idea

You're so desperate for chocolate that you're now eating books about it? Oh dear ;)

BW xx

I finally lost patience with Chief Bui1der last night

----- Original Message -----

From: "Chief Bui1der"
To: "Blue Witch"
Sent: Wednesday, August 30, 2006 6:19 PM

> hi Mr BW and BW
>
> i have finally sorced a new light for the broken one when can i
>come over to replace?h
> I spoke with [Chief Ba1cony Company Bodger] today and he
>should be contacting you on Mr BWs mobile.
>
> Speak soon
> Regards
>
> chief Bui1der

*************

From: "Blue Witch"
To: "Chief Bui1der"

Sent: Wednesday, August 30, 2006 11:19 PM

Chief Bui1der

I'm out all day tomorrow and we have people arriving lunchtime Friday for the weekend and loads to do before to try and get things back together and in some sort of order by then.

Given that I just pulled the Dyson plug out of the socket to the left of the shower room door and the socket front pulled out of the wallbox as I did so, making yet another job for Mr BW to tidy up, I think that it might be a very good idea to wait until next week before you come over to finish off the 'outstandings'...

Regards
Blue Witch

Job for tonight

I have unilaterally declared this evening Clean Out Your Cutlery Drawer Evening.

Go and get rid of those crumbs and that fluff (where *do* they come from anyway?)

I've done ours, so you do yours, then add your name to the List of Hygienic Blog People. Or give me a good excuse why you can't ;)

This magically appeared in the top of my recyling bin

I have absolutely no idea where the leaflet came from, but I took it out again quickly.

I think it was The Borrowers who usually hide things, but took pity on the number of 'predicaments' affecting The Coven at present, and rather than be mischievous this week, decided to be helpful. I'm certainly going to find a use for it. Your suggestions welcomed ;)
(note for non-UK readers - this is a restricted-entry association who (say that they) only allow trades- and craftspeople of the highest calibre to join)

All the sagas I've been mentioning recently continue, but I just don't have the strength, time or inclination to write about them any more at present.

We've got the Good Friends BW coming up for the weekend, and, as they've also been having bui1ding work done, I'm looking forward to trumping all their stories.

In other news, I've got Renault UK Head Office to manage to do something our dealer couldn't - get our car, ordered at the beginning of July, here for Friday when the new reg comes out (Mr BW wouldn't let me buy the plate I wanted, but I did have the pick of the 50 or so numbers the dealer had been allocated by DVLA, and it is rather pleasing :)).

The dealer thinks I'm amazing and wants to know my secret. All I did was be very, very firm, and use the old stuck record technique - repeatedly saying, "No, I don't want to know when the expected delivery date now is, I want to know why a car that has been sitting on the docks in Le Havre since 17th, that was due for delivery to my dealer on 23rd, hasn't made it onto a boat as it should have done. You tell me what the problem is, and I'll help you solve it."

I've had cause to contact Ford and Peugeot Head Offices in the past and have been brushed off, so, although I shouldn't have had this hassle, at least they did manage to resolve the problem, and, to give them their due, they also kept me informed of how the chase-up process was continuing.

And Admiral have proved themselves to be utterly useless already. I see from my stats that I'm already Googling in the Top 20 for their MultiCar insurance after my previous post, so I'll just add a negative bit to my previous positive comment.

When I have 10 minutes I shall be using the freephone customer complaints centre number I found when I took out the policy.

As ever, once they have your business, further contact results in long telephone queues, Indian call centres (despite what I was told when I enquired before I took out the policy - although I do suspect that they might only be out-of-hours/peak hours overspill ones), containing non-English speaking Indians who hadn't got a clue and tried to charge me £17.50 to add the registration number to a policy which already had the car's chassis number (the car wasn't in the country, so DVLA wouldn't issue a reg number at the time I had to set up the policy due to the expiry date of the insurance on our other vehicle, and I'd already checked and been assured that there wouldn't be a charge), and then £7.50 to send the documents out first class so they got here in time for the dealer to register the vehicle, because, apparently, those are "additional services"!!! What, putting a registration number on an insurance certificate and posting documents in a timely manner is an additional service? I think not. As a result, a couple of Indians learnt some new terminology, and are now better educated in the BW Ideals of Customer Service, and of course I didn't have to pay the £25.

I can't decide whether I'm just incredibly unlucky, or whether most other people just put up with the crap levels of customer service that pervade this country and happily accept shoddy goods, wait, or pay up without complaining, in such situations.

The thing is, as I'm always saying, if you put up with these things, even once in a while, standards will only get worse.

Businesses exist to make a profit. And they will take any short-cuts that customers let them get away with to increase those profits.

Chief Bui1der's Bank Holiday

The Ba1cony Bods finally left at 7.30pm on Saturday. With all the errors and attempted bodging to put them right (see below, see below), that we wouldn't accept, that's 6 person days it took to put up, where it should have taken about one and a half.

And, guess what? The final piece of glass had been incorrectly drilled, so they still have to come back. There was a suggestion that the supporting bracket might be moved and then the hole in the stain1ess stee1 pillar filled up. No, I don't think so, do you? A new piece of glass (and I would imagine that they are a hundred or so pounds each) is the only thing that will suffice. The good thing is that as they had to modify the design, because where they had to lower it due to the original error, it made the solar pane1 unserviceable, it is now shorter than it was, and we're paying by the metre. Or, rather, not paying for the metre or so removed :) I still can't believe that they dropped a segment they took off to modify off the back of the truck, and, thinking we wouldn't notice it had bent, decided to put it back up.

Yesterday Mr BW spent the day extracting sticky substance produced by Buzzy Familiars. I'm not quite sure how much there was because we've been so busy that I've not had time to ask, but those girls have been working hard (unlike the bui1ders...), so x > 500 lbs, judging by the number of buckets of it there are piled up in the kitchen waiting to be filtered. I spent half the day helping, until my wrist gave out (RSI and uncapping frames with a heavy heated knife do not go well together), then had to get on with some urgent work work.

Chief Bui1der managed to only be 6 minutes late this morning. Mr BW told him that he would be coming round today (a Bank Holiday, for non-English/Welsh readers) to sort out the flaking f1ue, when Mr BW could be here to show him how to do the job properly (ie that you need to carefully rub down stain1ess steel to provide a good key, before spraying with st0ve paint). Given that Chief Bui1der only lives 5 minutes drive away, I do really wonder which planet he lives on. If you'd messed up as much as he has, wouldn't you at least manage to turn up on time?

Fortunately I have a report to finish so I can keep out of the way. I have nothing civil to say to Chief Bui1der at present.

Despite wht you might think from what you read here sometimes, I am outwardly pretty tolerant, and, provided someone is polite and seen to be trying their best, I can continue to be pleasant to them.

However, I have a line, and once that line is crossed, there is no way back. There is no point in there being a way back, as, once someone has proved themselves untrustworthy or unreliable once, they could do it again any time. And I just don't need the hassle of that permanent question mark. I only need people in my life that I can rely on. It's much simpler that way.

With people I like, the line is further back than for people who are disrespectful or don't put any effort into things. However, gross stupidity, like not sheeting things up, and spraying paint inside the house, that inconvenience and upset me when I am already highly stressed, is inexcusable.

Chief Bui1der - Doghouse. Simple.

I just passed the hall table and noted a bottle of red wine has arrived. A rather nice bottle actually. But, it's a good job I wasn't there to receive it, because I think the words, "It'll take more than that to pacify me after all the dust you made on Wednesday, and the fact that you're into week 20 of a 12 week project and still there are outstanding things that won't be finished today!" might would have popped out of my mouth faster than I could smile and say cheerily, "Thank you, how thoughtful!" He's already agreed to pay for the 4 hours overtime Cleaner BW kindly did to get everything cleaned up. What he doesn't yet know is how much that's going to cost him. There are several other things that he is going to be paying for (including, probably 3 days of Mr BW's time, at the same rate he charges us for his blokes, which is £150 a day - Mr BW does five times as much in a day as them, and is much more highly skilled, but, I'm trying to appear reasonable), but I shan't be telling him until he provides the final bill, or he'll just add my amounts in somewhere. I wasn't born yesterday :)

Is anyone still reading?
Oh, right then, never mind, no point continuing, back to work ;)

Overheard

I'm dashing between my Inner Coven where I am writing paragraphs of a report, and the new Studio where I am busily sorting the contents of packed-away-long-ago boxes into their new homes.

The latter task has the added bonus of being able to invisibly oversee Po1ish Workman and his usually-supervisory-grade 'helper' for the afternoon, who, after my earlier Very Stern Words with their boss (see below), have just returned with the re-manufactured end piece for the ba1ustrade.

Po1ish workman seems to be the only person from ba1cony fabrication firm who understands the concept of quality, workmanship, timeliness, respect for the customer, and that bodging will never go down well with us. He's getting quite irate:

"No, I not accept that we do like that. The lady, she will not accept. The man, he knows. Please, you listen, I know how it is best to do."

"No, that is not good. You listen. Like this... only like this... only my way. I teach you how you must do it. Look. My way is good."

"No, no, no, you cross me, no, is not right..."

Chief Bui1der could do with a few like him (incidentally, you may remember the bloke, usually the Foreman on CB's other team, who was left in charge here when Chief Bui1der went on holiday back near the beginning of this job - the one who bunked off for 3 days leaving us with soggy ceilings? - well, he's now gone AWOL and no forwarding address... *sniggers* Twas no spell of mine... ;)).

I'd heard the stories about the high standard of Po1ish workmen's work, and now I've seen it with my own eyes. With standards even of the best, most highly recommended, bui1ding companies so appallingly low, as we've found to our cost, I say, bring 'em in, let 'em show our sloppy workers how it should and can be done. Maybe then they'll buck their ideas up.

We used to have the best craftsmen in the world in this country. Where did it all go wrong?

We interrupt the ongoing balcony saga - now a bent post because it was taken off to be rewelded because someone had made it so it didn't meet Bui1ding Regs and in the process got dropped off the lorry and they thought they'd get away with it...

...being 10 degrees from true, and then them not turning up today at 8am as agreed, to finish the job promised for Tuesday or Wednesday, that the two here yesterday were prepared to work until it was dark to finish, until they were ordered off because another guy wanted his van (that they had for the day) back at 6pm.

*remembers to breathe*

All I'll say is that I am thanking whoever passes as god for someone who doesn't subscribe to that particular system of beliefs, for Po1ish bui1ders, because it's the little Po1ish guy who is insisting it be sorted and done perfectly, and has promised that he will work tomorrow (Sunday) as well, if necessary, until it is done to our satisfaction. And it's been agreed that they will pay the £200 materials cost, plus labour, to recoat the specialist fibreglass roof where its beautiful brown shiny surface got covered in deep white scratches by sheets of toughened plate glass being dragged across it in my unavoidable absence yesterday, because they didn't think to protect the surface as the bui1ders had so carefully done for the past umpteen weeks.

*remembers to breathe*

I have had words, serious words, very serious words, with the Company Manager about how to run companies, keep to time schedules, and not over-commit oneself for reasons of monetary greed, thereby stressing one's workforce and upsetting and inconveniencing one's customers. It was really not a good idea for him to say, "Have you finished?" to me when I paused for breath, because I then treated him to another 5 minutes worth ;) However, I think I made my point, as, from the starting position that they couldn't come back today as agreed at 5.55pm yesterday, and they'd be back on Tuesday, maybe, if we were lucky, he sent the most diplomatic person I have met all week round to grovel and oversee reparations.

Anyway, as I said, we interrupt all that, (a) because I'm sure no-one believes that this many things can possibly have gone wrong on one project so I must be making it up, and if anyone does believe it, they're probably bored with it all anyway, and, (b) because several readers have kindly emailed me asking about my Dad, what kind of a man he is, that he could end up in such a postion, I imagine that others must have thought it too.

In explaining how they construe the actions of their parents, many people quote the Philip Larkin poem, This Be The Verse:

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats

Man hands on misery to man
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

In my situation, I managed the last two lines...

And the rest was sort-of right, at some level, too.

I can't turn off my professional curiosity and hypothesis generation about why people act as they do, in any situation, even when I'm a central part of it. Most of the time I can take a step back and consider things as if I'm not involved. That can be quite, erm, interesting, sometimes. I'm also arrogant enough to believe that my formulations are pretty much right, most of the time, these days.

I guess I learnt from my early experiences in a way one can never learn from books or other's experience. Many's the time I've been accused of reading people's minds and then adding new insights to their thoughts. Maybe I do read minds, I have no idea, I just know that what seems so obvious to me often isn't to others, and that others often find my formulations so helpful that they're prepared to repeatedly pay me for them!

Therefore, I'm going to cut and paste the reply I made last night to one enquiry about my Dad (hoping the original recipient won't mind). I guess I'm posting it here because I'm aware that there may come a time when I wonder how I was thinking and feeling right now, and I may like to be able to access it easily again.

I honestly believe he really did the best he could as a parent - he gave me everything he could - he was always making things for me and talking to me and doing practical things for me - but, as a child whose parents divorced in an era when there was great social stigma, he was brought up by a succession of distant relatives, while his mother was cavorting with a succession of unsuitables.

She then died 18 months before I was born, by which time all the distant uncles had also died.

He had no positive role models for parenting skills and was never shown any love, so ended up emotionally repressed - I suppose he latched onto my mother (who has always been needy, and controlling, according to her 3 younger sisters) who is also emotionally bereft, but for a different reason (A5pergers as a therapist I was talking to a couple of years ago deduced - I frequently work with A5D kids and never realised - until she shared her suspicions, and it all then made sense!!).

I'm not going to stir, and I don't feel the need to write letters. We've never written letters to each other, and there's never been open expression of feelings, so it would make no sense to start now.

Writing it on BW has been enough; it's recorded for posterity, in case I ever wonder what I felt at this time. It's now almost someone else's sad story, which I am looking in on.

It's been that way for most of my life and it's strangely comforting, in a weird sort of way, that the end is no different.

I hope that doesn't sound crass...

While I was looking for the correct words of the Larkin poem, I stumbled upon this, which makes interesting reading. I'd heard about it but not read it before. While I don't agree with some of what I'm reading there now, there is one great idea that might save lots of us years of misery and soul searching in later life:

Rather than focus on exam results, James urges parents to do an "emotional audit" of their children at age 16. "The grotesque over-emphasis on exam performance should be replaced with a version of cognitive anal1tic therapy (CAT), in which every child is helped to evaluate the impact of their upbringing on their psycho1ogy."

... only, of course, if it could be facilitated by someone outside the family, with specialist training. Otherwise the possible consequences are mind-boggling.

Friday, Friday...

Maybe spurred on by the threat of a £250 a day penalty if they didn't rectify the ba1cony cock-up today before the Bank Holiday weekend (see post just below), a site team (rather than the pulled-from-the-fabrication-shop blokes from yesterday) duly arrived only 10 minutes later than promised. Do bui1ders and their ilk *ever* turn up at the time they say?

Yesterday's blokes also forgot that there were meant to be stainless steel collars around the base of the posts, but, lack of communication somewhere means that they won't now fit anyway because of the way the f1at roof was coated. To be honest I'm not that bothered as I don't think they'd have looked particularly good anyway, and we'll knock them off the bill, along with a suitable amount for "inconvenience and distress". And we were *very* inconvenienced and distressed.

Yesterday, amidst all the clean-up operation mounted by Cleaner BW (that woman is worth her weight in gold - bearing in mind that her own mother is currently uindergrowing aggressive chem0therapy for brea5t c@ncer and Cleaner BW is her main carer, she still was happy to do over 6 hours solid work for us to clear up the mess Chief Bui1der and Useless Apprentice had made on Wednesday, then went on to another job she does, and finally got in at 7.30pm, whereupon the first thing she did was ring me to see that I was OK) and all the building disasters, Mr BW (worth his weight in platinum, if that's the most expensive metal, and if it isn't, worth his weight in whatever is) valiantly tried to negotiate visiting rights for me with Daddy BW with my mother.

Apparently I would be allowed to see him, with her present throughout ("We have so little time left now, we are inseparable, we go everywhere together and do everything together, anything she wants to say to her father can be said in front of me"), either meeting in a coffee shop near where they will apparently be spending a week next week (just 60 miles from here), or, if we make a 500 mile day trip to where they live. She will not allow Mr BW to pick Dad up from where they will be staying next week (with an old school 'friend', who is similarly weird, and her husband, who has end-stage c@ncer himself) and bring him over here for the afternoon, as a first step (with the suggested possibility that I might then be happier to see him with her in the future).

Mr BW heard first-hand yet another rendition from her of all the crap I have had to put up with over the years: how ungrateful I am, how I don't know, care about, or appreciate the sacrifices they had to make for me, the difficult decisions blah, blah, blah (isn't that part of being a parent? I'd have thought so, which is one of the reasons why it never appealed to me...).

His own personality and years of job-related practice have made Mr BW a very skilled negotiator, and he has a very calm way of making difficult points in a non-threatening way. Faced with all her ridiculous anti-BW spiel, he did manage to get a few different points of view in, but I doubt she even heard it. There is only black and white in her world, and there is no middle ground. She always has to have things her way and total control. Letting Dad out of her sight means that I might get through the web of lies she has woven.

So, *I*'m not allowed time with Daddy BW, but, and wait for this, after their 7 days with old friends, they're flying out to the US to see Brother BW for 2 weeks. Apparently the poor misguided woman believes that their annual travel in5urance which runs until October will still cover them and that she doesn't need to report change of circumstances to the insurers. Golden Boy was only over here last week too (and again stirred and told lies as we discovered the other day).

Ah well. Nothing new there, just as I expected. He's under her thumb and won't stand up to her even now (although one can understand why). From being in a total turmoil about it all I am now quite accepting. Really it was never going to be any different. And I certainly don't want my last memory of seeing him to be with her in a coffee shop (not a place I ever frequent anyway).

The best part is that Mr BW has now heard everything first-hand. Not, I think, that he ever disbelieved me, but there's always a new dimension that comes from first-hand experience.

On a different note, MrD has a glut of tomatoes and wants to know what to do with them.

Please do not connect this question with the last few paragraphs ;)

The latest cock-up

I was just saying in the comments below that Mr BW discovered this morning that the owner of the ba1cony manufacturing company has gone on holiday for the weekend, conveniently forgetting his promise to Mr BW last Friday that it would definitely be fitted on Tuesday or Wednesday.

This is the company who have been promising Chief Bui1der, who 'arranged' it all, that the balcony would be fitted, every week for the last 11 weeks. This is also the stee1 fabrication company who held things up by two and a half weeks by failing to deliver the major gigantic 3/4 tonne structural stee1 for the project when promised.

It's amazing how Mr BW telling the company at lunchtime that, unless the balcony turns up today or tomorrow, they can forget it, resulted in them turning up to do the work an hour after the phone call...

But... the stumps onto which the balcony is meant to fit, that were installed by ba1cony company before being embedded in the extremely expensive special resin/fibreglassed surface of the balcony, are 13cm too tall (ie the pole of the balcony upright has a stop inside so it can't fully cover the stump pole, as you might be able to see in the photo - the top stainless pole is supposed to be at roof-surface level, and you shouldn't be able to see any of the stump that is partly brown resin/fibreglassed).

The 2 blokes fitting it, who are fabricators dragged out of the workshop, not site guys, didn't notice until I pointed out to them that the ba1cony was at shoulder height and there was a ten inch gap under it, which couldn't be right as it didn't look right and certainly wouldn't comply with Building Regs for ba1conies.

At least the two blokes are being very polite and apologetic...

But it's a Bank Holiday weekend coming up, so I have made it very clear that if someone doesn't come to fix it tomorrow, then [unspecified] will happen. 11 weeks of delays and broken promises and now this...

I can't quite decide what [unspecified] is going to be. £250 penalty a day seems reasonable though?

And here, for good measure, is a picture of the overflowing gutter from this morning. They've already tried to fix this once, I see from my notes. Oh thank goodness I've been keeping detailed daily notes, I have a Witchy Feeling that they are going to come in very, very handy.

Does anyone know anyone else who's had this much hassle with their bui1ding projects? Tell me your horrendous stories... make me feel better about all this... please...

Disaster areas

You'll remember that we're into week 20 of what should have been a 12 week bui1ding project.

Which effectively means I've lost the whole of the schoo1 summer holidays when I am usually less busy and would have had a chance to sort out all the things that had been in the Coven Attic for years and all the other things that needed to be stored or junked, or put into the new rooms.

You'll also recall how many things have gone wrong with this project before. The water pissing through all the downstairs ceilings back in May when the roof was off. All the only-replastered-last-year ceilings downstairs cracked (some due to things being dropped on them by bui1ders). Stee1s that didn't fit, necessitating all the roof having to come off, rather than just the proposed back, so that rafters could be made higher to compensate. Glass doors that were incorrectly manufactured. Gutters that leaked. Field drains that were blocked by their debris. I'm sure there were other things, but I can't recall them right now. Fortunately I seem to have bui1ders loo saga amnesia.

Yesterday afternoon while I was working they sprayed the stainless stee1 woodburner f1ue (inside the house, despite everything Mr BW and I had said, and confirmed in written email - can you believe that?) with black stove paint without covering anything and the whole of the studio and everything in it (open boxes of carefully-stored treasures from my childhood that I was in the process of sorting, £1000 of art materials that were laying around in the process of being sorted, £1000 of new LCD TV and DVD/video, £1200 of brand new 1inoluem floor) now has a black paint dust over it.

Then they rubbed down the new plaster in the entrance doorway without covering anything, or taping up adjacent doors, so the whole of the downstairs, including carpets that were brand new last autumn, and my Inner Coven which was spotless for the first time for several years, is now covered in thick white plaster dust.

And they didn't realise. When Mr BW rang Chief Bui1der last night, his reaction was, "Well I didn't do it deliberately!"

Today, Cleaner BW, who very kindly changed her plans so she could spend all day, rather than her normal 3 hours, here, so she could clean absolutely everything (I hasten to add, at Chief Bui1der's expense) so that we could judge what might need professional cleaning and what might be OK, noticed that the black paint sprayed onto the stainless steel f1ue is flaking off and there is water running down the wall from where the f1ue goes through the ceiling, as it's raining heavily and they obviously haven't sealed it properly. Outside there are overflowing gutters, and the people who should have turned up weeks ago, but were finally tied down to Monday or Tuesday, to do the ba1cony and replace the traingle door glass, still haven't been.

Mr BW has summonsed Chief Bui1der and is on his way home as I will *kill* Chief Builder if *I* see him.

And I keep thinking that the 2 bui1ding inspectors told me that Chief Bui1der is the best bui1der around... If he's this bad, what the hell must the others be like?

I can't remember the last time I was this angry.
And it's the last thing I need right now, as I'm sure you can imagine.

Here's a thought...

*If* insurance companies really do have the giant database of all driver information and claims etc, which is accessible and add-able to by the police and DVLA, as they say in their recorded messages, then *why* can you not just go online or ring an insurer, tell them your name and address and date of birth, and they can consult that and give you a quote?

Link together all databases for different types of insurance, then they'd see who the careless, frequently claiming customers are, and charge them accordingly, and the rest of us could get sensibly priced quotes without spending hours so doing.

Oh wait... such an obvious and sensible idea must have problems... someone is bound to complain that it's infringing their human rights to have info about them stored and used in this way... or maybe the database really isn't what it's talked up to be...

More on insurance

Interesting comments and info under yesterday's post, thanks for all contributions.

I was encouraged by GubGub and drD's comments yesterday to go with my instinct that said that all insurance companies are sharks and that one might as well go with the cheapest quote and take one's chances.

But, I lost a day somewhere in all the dying and bui1ding events of the past few days. The bui1ding work is still not finished - although the Holy Woodburner Altar F1ue *might* be finished by tonight and the ba1cony *might* be up by the end of tomorrow, and the glass in the large door *might* be replaced and the window frames and doors properly adjusted and finished off this week (how we wish we'd told them to take the lot away and put them in a skip 6 weeks ago when they first supplied them incorrectly - after the way they've mucked us/Chief Bui1der around, never, ever, ever, ever again does any company who can't supply as ordered get a second chance - and, believe me, the company owner is in for a BW Lecture Grade 1 on Acceptable Customer Service Standards and a few home truths about the way his new business is likely to go when he *does* eventually get his arse round here to do the outstanding work).

And so, having lost a day, I realised in a panic yesterday evening that my car insurance runs out at midday today. Or maybe midnight last night, I can't quite work it out as 2 different pieces of paperwok say 2 different things (aside - further to what I said yesterday about Churchill's incompetence - don't ever insure with Churchill - when I rang them last night to query something the spotty oik on the end of the phone - I don't have a videophone, but I could tell - was so rude and unhelpful (and I mean rude and unhelpful), and I was so frustrated and upset about everything that I told him, in no uncertain terms, that if he'd been worked a bit harder at school or been a bit brighter he wouldn't be working in a call centre for £5 an hour, and having to deal with customers who he clearly would like to tell to fuck off, and that he was a total loser. I felt better then and hopefully he will reconsider his career choice and general attitude to those who pay his wages. I very much doubt it, but I hope so. I don't usually ever speak to people like that, however badly they may be treating me, but, he deserved it. Really. And they can't trace me as I have permanent number withheld on my line and I'd not even given him my name before he began his rudeness.

Anyway... enough of the flitting - ian commented that Admiral and Elephant gave him cheap quotes and he swops between them year by year to keep his premiums low (usual insurance strageness as I know that they are both part of the same group that also includes Bell). Having been up to midnight trying to sort out my insurance and failing to find a policy that I was satisfied met all my needs and was cheap, on ian's recommendation, I tried Admiral this morning.

I discovered from their website that Admiral now do a multi-car policy, offering good discounts (it was 23% for my 206 cf the single insurance price), and you can delay the start date of vehicles. I filled in all the details on their online quote system (which was reasonably good and speedy compared to some) but then it told me I had to ring them to confirm some details. This didn't surprise me as I'd had to leave the registration number box blank as our new Clio - due for 1st September delivery - is still sitting on the docks in France and DVLA won't issue a registration number until it's on English soil.

After some to-ing and fro-ing with the dealer to get the chassis number (and a bit of a barney as they wouldn't initially agree to a courtesy car for Mr BW from 1st September when the new car, ordered back in July, and stuck across the Channel for no obvious reason, other than incompetence, should be delivered, until such time as it is), I managed to set up the policies.

Full marks to Paul at Admiral for exceptional friendly, helpful and informed service and really going out of his way to answer all my "what ifs". I don't think they record calls either, from some of his comments about the insurance industry and call centres, while we were chatting ;)

Now, from paying Churchill a total of £565.30 to insure a meaty (but 70mpg) brand new Clio and a meaty (but 55mpg) 206, fully comp, with business use for both of us, for a year, we are now paying Admiral just £385.41. The Admiral policy comes with more built-in extras and a £60 rather than £75 accidental damage excess. That is £179.89 (31.8%) cheaper, and the Churchill prices were the absolute rock-bottom obtainable last year.

Plus, I've already noted that the Admiral customer complaints number, should I need it, is a freephone number :)

So insurance is a scam as I mentioned yesterday, QED, and it pays to shop around.

Anyone got any customer service issues they'd like me to take up for them today... I'm just in the mood to take on anyone, and I mean anyone, over anything... ;)

A necessary mug's game

Insurance.

Surely the most complex minefield there is.

Impossible to compare products because they all offer slightly different cover, exclusions, inclusions and excesses. Using the screenscraper sites is worse than useless as the search returns are never as good as they sound when you click through.

And, worse still, impossible to know the quality of what you're buying until you are in the unfortunate position of having a problem or needing to make a claim. It's then that you find that a cheap policy is not necessarily a Value one. Particularly when claims lines with long waits and 0870- (or 0845-) numbers are involved.

It's also impossible to take recommendations from other people on Value products to buy as everyone's circumstances are different, and there is so much demographic and geographic variation on pricing.

So, today I thought I'd ask about people's experience of good and bad customer claims service with insurance companies.

I'll start the ball rolling:

Bad: Churchill Motor Insurance.

1. Absolute refusal to remove an incorrectly recorded accident from my policy details, despite being prepared to write me a letter saying they accepted it was an admin error and that I was 200 miles away from the site of the alleged accident on the day in question. Apparently "computer says no." I ought to take that one to the insurance ombudsman or something, but haven't got round to it.

2. Refusal to allow Mr BW to get a replacement windscreen from other than their preferred supplier who had a 10 day wait on replacements as the hot weather back in June together with air con and resurfaced roads led to a record number of cracked windscreens in this area. I had a Class 1 BW tantrum about that one, and had them grovelling and agreeing to anything I wanted, but it took over 3 hours out of a Saturday.

3. Continually sending out duplicate sets of paperwork, even for cancelled policies.

4. Long waits to speak to a human on all call centre numbers.

Bad: Privilege Motor Insurance - Time taken to agree replacement of a written off 30 week old car which caught fire in a flood, despite there being a clause in the policy agreeing that if assessed damage was 50% or more of the new cost of a car under a year old, replacement as new would be made (I think it took 9 weeks from the date of the fire to actually get the cheque, and with a write-off you don't get a courtesy car, and then the amount was wrong and they spelt my name incorrectly). Unbelievably rude claims department staff who could not have been less helpful.

Bad: Direct Line Motor Insurance - I can't remember what they did to annoy me as it was soon after they started about 15 years ago, but I do remember that I vowed never to use them again, which is a shame as they are giving me the best renewal quotes so far, and they are one of few companies who offer a £0 excess to careful drivers and promise that your NCB won't be affected if you have an accident with an uninsured driver. (Actually, on reflection, I think it involved being hit up the back in a 5 month old car, on the M25 by 11 cars, the last of whom was a vicar insured by Ecclesiastical Insurance, who refused to accept responsibility and said I must have braked too hard - erm, yes, it was a new car with excellent brakes, but *I* didn't hit the vehicle in front of me, as I wasn't tailgating, unlike the rest of them - and Privilege agreed with them. Well... for a while they did ;)).

Good - Erm.... as we make few claims, I have yet to find one... but I would like to, as we have 2 motor policies up for renewal in the next week....

All info on good and bad experiences with any kind of insurance would be welcome - motor, buldings, contents, breakdown, travel etc etc... (if you've already written about it, a URL would be good, but you will need to put in the html for a link as the comments boxes are set up not to auto-code to deter spammers)

Thank you

Thank you all - I've been out all afternoon and evening and am really quite overwhelmed by all your kind messages and thoughts, both in the comments and by email.

It's hard to believe that it's only a year since we were in this situation with Mr BW's father... and knowing how it ends, and that there is actually nothing that can be done, is the worst thing... Mr BW is being wonderful, but it must be so hard for him, reliving it all so soon (and his were the most 'normal' family I've ever met and live locally, so there weren't the problems of estrangement or distance).

Just occasionally I find myself forgetting what's happening, just for a few minutes, then it all pops out of my sub-conscious and hits me in a nauseous wave again. It just feels like someone keeps thumping me, hard, in the stomach. I keep hoping it's a bad dream, or that it's her idea of a bad joke, but I know it isn't.

The bui1ders have nearly finished repairing the ceilings downstairs, and are finally finishing off the thresholds (beautiful bits of oak) and the woodburner f1ue and other bits and pieces (Mr BW has a couple of days off to oversee it all).

But, somehow, the excitement I felt last week about getting to the end of the interminably long project at last is nowhere to be seen. I feel really robbed.

Past, present, future

Sorting things out over the past few days I've come across lots of forgotten treasures. Objects with attached memories, and things others have written to me. All sorts of emotions have been triggered.

"BW is adept at identifying central factors in dysfunctional situations and highly skilled in enabling those involved to move forward," was the concluding comment of one of my professional training placement supervisors.

A bonus of coming from a highly dysfunctional family.

Seeing problems - easy.
Helping others see problems - easy.

But, alas, no help in dealing with my own situation.

When one is a part of the dysfunctionality, no matter how skilled one might be in working with others, no matter how much one might want things to be different, and no matter how hard one might try, they won't be, and they can't be.

I used to believe that it was my fault. Years of being put down, and not ever living up to expectations (perfect wasn't good enough, top of the class wasn't good enough if the top of the class mark in another form was 1 point higher, 9 'A' grades at 'O' Level wasn't good enough because I also got one 'B'), and constantly living with the fact that Brother BW (technically and practically brilliant but useless at passing exams, so always in my shadow academically) was always Mother's Golden Boy.

Experience and therapy have taught me that the only way of dealing with it is to avoid it as far as possible. After the last debacle, I haven't been spoken to for 2 years and 8 months.

But, that time has been a time of huge stability for me, and one in which I've finally come to accept that things are never going to be any different, and that trying only sends me back into the deep dark pit of severe depression that I have oft inhabited in the past.

My one regret is that when I am Not Being Spoken To, Daddy BW is also not allowed to speak to me. Such is Mother's power, he does not dare to disobey, because She would find out. Nothing he has ever done has been good enough for Mother either, and, as an only child whose parents divorced and whose mother died before I was born, he has no family of his own. Years of being put down have taken its toll, but he's coped, in his own way, by not challenging her, no matter how ridiculous she is, and by working on his own projects in his workshop or on his allotment. I once asked him why he put up with it. "What choice do I have?" he said, "Anything for a quiet life - and, better the devil you know, surely?"

Like me, he is happiest in his own company, doing creative things, and like me, he has difficulty in understanding how Brother BW chooses to live his life (five and a half thousand miles away), or how he is considered to be such a Golden Boy when he's messed up so many times. It's also fair to say that I've always been close to Daddy BW, much closer than she has, and that, in the eyes of all her family (without exception she has fallen out with all of them - see the comments in the post linked above) she's jealous of this relationship.

Two of the most balanced people I know are Mr BW and Good Friend BW. I am fortunate that they are also the two most important people in my life. When I am out-of-balance, between them they somehow manage to sort me out. Awful though it may sound, the fact is that both of them, as well as the last therapist I worked with, believe that the only way out of this situation will be when Mother is dead, which, given her uncontrollable blood pressure and other related factors - some of which may or may not be hypochondria - should have been several years ago.

And so, I have lived in the sure knowledge that, one day, I would be able to rescue Daddy BW from the less-than-perfect-situation that has been his life for the past 49 years, and we would be able to have the relationship we both wanted. We'd even joked that he'd move in next door, and we'd spend our time being creative together.

Until Friday afternoon when She deigned to telephone to speak to me. To tell me, with almost glee, that Daddy BW is terminally ill. A very strained conversation, totally unsympathetic, and totally without mention of any visiting rights for me.

And the bottom kind of fell out of my world.

He's only 71, and has previously been the fittest, healthiest, most active man of that age I know. Eats a perfect diet, doesn't smoke, drinks only a minimal amount of red wine - maybe a glass a couple of times a week. I doubt he's been near a doctor more than a dozen times in his life (and in the UK there is no screening programme for this condition, as there is in several other countries). No symptoms whatsoever until 5 weeks ago, when he developed lower backache, which he put down to muscle strain as he was digging a path at the time, and it's very advanced.

Now every single person I know well either has, or has someone in their immediate family, with some form of c@ncer. I suppose it's an age thing, because they're all around my age or older, but it is rather a scary situation to be in.

Whatever else I do, or don't do, I'm going to make sure that I'm not forced into a position of 'looking back in anger'. Time is not on our side though.

Playing catchup again

Still madly tidying and sorting, and will be for some time...

Discovering that joy that people usually have when they move house of finding new homes for things they've had tucked away, or have tired of in their previous positions. And rediscovering many, many things I'd forgotten I still had!

The missing memory sticks reappeared on Sunday, in a place where I'd looked at least half a dozen times. The work of the little 'helper' ('hinderer') who hides things periodically, no doubt. Still at least I can photograph away to my Witchy heart's content again.

The field behind was combined at the end of last week, before the wind and rain, and they are now ploughing it. *sobs* Autumn is coming, as the cold twang in the late evenings and early mornings, and the early mist and dew on the grass is attesting.

(view from leaning out of the extreme right of the new shower room window - I've titled it 'harvesting' which rather pleased me - note the ba1cony is still awaiting its glass and rails so is highly illegal and best not walked on after a couple of pints of Pimms, which has definitely been the drink of this summer)

The so1ar pane1/tube system was finally completed yesterday at 4pm. Mr BW had assembled it, Energetic E1ectrician, Puzzled P1umber and Chief Bui1der had all contributed too. The three latter people stood and looked at each other. "Who is going to commission it?" asked Energetic E1ectrician. "Maybe Mr BW should do it when he gets home?" said Chief Bui1der (I suspect thinking that it would then be our responsibility if anything went wrong). "Commissioned? COMMISSIONED?" I spluttered, "just get the bloody thing turned on while there's still some sun left!" Heating up nicely it is.

Every minute I spend blogging or blog reading is a minute more from when It Will All Be Tidy, so off I go. Apologies to those of you I've not been to visit for a while.

In the meantime, I'm working on an idea with A.N.Other of this Blog Parish, to sell some (professionally printed) prints and cards of arty/paintingy/textiley things and superbly detailed photographic images (the latter obviously not mine... ;)) via the internet.

Still in its early stages, as I've been otherwise occupied for the past 18 weeks (today - not bad for a 12-14 week job, eh? *sighs* - but given that the Bui1ding Inspectors both told me that Chief Bui1der is the only local bui1der who usually brings projects in on time, I think it demonstrates the problems there have been...), but I've not yet come up with a suitably clever name. Nothing to do with Witches, because it would be best if the public at large remained unaware... All suggestions welcomed, thanks.

Catchup and Tidyup

Today's lack of a post brought to you by EDF Energy who managed to take 8 hours to restore our supply after a kind local tree took it out in all this bad weather (August? More like April or October!). The third long powercut here in as many months. Our £50 compensation for dreadful service this year is in the bag :)

Sick of extended localised power cuts, which take ages to mend because we are accorded low priority due to few people being affected as houses around here are so geographically spread out, we did finally get round to buying a generator a couple of weeks ago, when Aldi had cheap ones, but unfortunately it's still in the box.

The weekend's lack of posts brought to you by Pipex's inadequacies and us assuming squatters rights in the new extension. We decided that the bui1ders had messed around for long enough and moved in. They were supposed to have finished 5 weeks ago... but that was before the wet weather and the hot weather. Then it was Friday, then it was today, and, guess what, it's still not all done! The excuse, once again, the weather.

It's only minor things like mastic-ing and adjusting windows, and powering up the so1ar panel, but I'd really rather it had all been done before we moved in and they had the opportunity to nose in everything. And, oh yes, they have been nosing. Being oft-spied-on when a young Witch, I am adept at trap-setting, and they just couldn't resist falling into all of them... a little peek in here and there...

So, we are busily sorting it all out. And with 44 years worth of 'accumulated' to reduce (yes, I know I'm not 44 yet, but I have all my pre-natal baby things, kindly donated by Mummy BW when they moved house and cleared out), I may be some time...

18 hours yesterday, but at least my Inner Coven (next door to the new studio) is now almost decluttered and tidy for the first time in about 4 years, and I need to put in some effort tonight as I've been out doing Chinese P@inting of animals all day today.

I've always wanted a stack of multi-coloured towels in a bathroom. So, that's what I've given myself. The colours match the mosaic :) (I'm still looking for hand towels in a really, really, bright, bright yellow (new gamboge/ cadmium yellow deep if you're a painter), a really dark purple, a really bright turquoise, and a really post-box red, if anyone has seen any anywhere recently, please do let me know).

You can play Spot The Items That Have Been Previously Mentioned in Blog Posts, in the 2 pictures, if you like. There are lots of them, going back several years.

But, I don't think I got round to mentioning the lovely old chest of drawers at the front of the top picture? Rescued by Mr BW from work - £1, judicious use of a saw to get them in the back of the car to transport home, and about 20 hours of rubbing down, staining, varnishing, and polishing, and voila.

What happened next...

...the actual version

I turned the main stopcock slowly.

There was a hissing noise and water started pissing out.

There had been a few problems getting the stopcock to completely turn off due to the external pressure when the pipe was first put in. My first thought was that it was connected to that.

I tried to turn it off again.

I was sure I had it off, but the water was still pissing out.

Concurrently I shouted, "It's leaking, damn, it's leaking!"

Almost before I'd uttered the second, "leaking", Chief Bui1der was at my side, and hard on his heels was Puzzled P1umber.

I'd suddenly worked out that the water was actually coming out of the draincock above the tap stopcock, and had my finger stuffed in the hole. Rather like the story of the Witch with her finger in the dike. I'm sure you know the one?

"Spanner, Puzzled P1umber's Mate, spanner!" shouted Chief Bui1der.

I was about to say, "Quit hurling the abuse and do something!" when I twigged that, actually, a spanner was the required tool in this situation.

Chief Bui1der and I were locked in a wet embrace in the bottom of the Rest Room Cupboard for a jolly long time. Finally, he finished, leaving me to mop up. About 2 gallons had ejaculated out of the faulty cock.

Lots of good guesses... but 2 BW points each to Debster and Sue I think, despite Debster's attempts to encourage dave to turn the saga into a porno flick ;)

Yesterday

"Boats at Heybridge"
Pen and wash, 7" x 5".

What happened next?

At 3pm yesterday it was finally time for the ceremonial turn-on of the p1umbing to the new part of the house.

That honour was accorded to me.

Puzzled P1umber, Chief Bui1der and Puzzled P1umber's mate stood by while I went downstairs, into the cupboard in The Rest Room (but not in an American sense) - currently full of all the new art stuff and a new TV, and various other stuff that is going upstairs tomorrow night when Chief Bui1der finally vacates the premises. Well, he says it will be so, but, we'll see - and turned on the new supply to that part of the house.

Regular readers may remember the river caused by its digging back in May?

What happened next?

I am having a day out, painting down by the seaside today (I haven't had time to paint for weeks, and I shouldn't really leave Chief Bui1der to it today, but, it was arranged weeks ago, and I feel I can't let the rest of the group down, and I'm leaving Cleaner BW, who he already knows won't stand any nonsense, in charge), so you can finish the entry... BW Points may be awarded for the funniest, and for the nearest versions, oh, and for contributions from normally-mute lurkers...

Alternatively

I'm a bit tied up trying to assist p1umbers today - it's a worry when I managed to come up with a way to do something that they couldn't. Applying logic to systems is definitely one of my strengths, but I am a bit shocked...

In an attempt to improve the written language of the next generation, how many different words to replace "said" can you come up with?

Saving pounds and the planet

We've always been very conscious of wasting energy, because wasted energy = £££ and waste of a finite natural resource, not to mention environmental damage, whether visible or invisible.

In the 11 years (tomorrow!) that we've been here, we've lagged, draught proofed, insulated, and installed double glazing. The new bui1ding has been insulated with the latest space age materials, which are way above the stringent Bui1ding Regs requirements. We've got a so1ar pane1 to provide the hot water to the new extension (being powered up tomorrow - watch this space for news!), and we're thinking about a wind turb1ne for next year sometime, when, hopefully, we will have some spare Witchy Pennies again.

I've always known that official figures say that 30-35% of heat is lost through the walls of a building, but, as The Coven is an amazingly warm building in the winter and cool in the summer, we've never really worried about the cavities.

Until Chief Bui1der showed me the 3" or 4" empty gap between the two brick walls.

That, and the rising price of oil (we have no mains gas here), and the fact that The Coven needs completely repainting after the bui1ders have gone, made us look again at cav1ty wa11 insu1ation.

Government grant funding for energy efficiency measures (as an offspin of The Kyoto Protocol - the US position on which still shocks me, sorry, had to get that in, as I'm convinced that the majority of Americans - although I accept probably not ones who read here - probably have no idea of their government's disgraceful attitude to measures necessary to save the planet) is now administered by the energy suppliers. Money ran out around February, but there is still grant money available in this financial year.

I've just had someone out and we can get a £300 grant, leaving £197 for us to pay, for 114 square metres of fill. Had I applied before the bui1ding work, when we were more bungalow than house, the grant would only have been half that. Planning, eh? :)

As it's their quiet time of year, the insu1ation company could have done the work next Tuesday, but I've put them off until the end of next week, so Mr BW can have a day's holiday, and be here. As they'll be drilling lots of holes in our pretty walls, I don't fancy overseeing that kind of work. Although I did overhear Chief Bui1der chatting and joking with the surveyor and saying that that he'd better send his best team, and they'd best be told that perfection was required, or they'd be returning until such time as perfection was achieved. I love having that sort of reputation :)

More details of all energy saving grant schemes available here. It's amazing what is available (but it does depend a bit on who your energy supplier is).

Given that the government will soon be introducing an 'energy rating' for houses, which is to be included in the "Home Information Packs" that everyone will be required to provide to prospective purchasers when they sell their house (they've been delayed from the June 2007 start date, as some official bod has realised that there won't be enough surveyors to do the surveys, had you heard?), while there are still grants available, it may be a good time to consider getting some extra subsidised insulation, and thus get some of your taxes back from the government... not to mention saving the planet, some money on bills, and adding to the resale vale of your home.

(an example of what an Energy Performance Certificate will look like is here)

Floored

Having personally, on hands and knees, with a circular motion, rubbed in the second coat of sealant (anything to save a few quid!) all over the 42 square metres of it, I now know that there are 2 tiny pieces of grit under it, and one tiny 0.75mm x 5mm piece of top surface missing on one of the joins (it only comes in 2m widths, hence the need to join it).

One more coat to go. Hope Mr BW has got some energy left when he gets home as I haven't...

I love the way it perfectly matches the wheat. The manufacturer must have thought so too, as the colour is called "Barley". I can't believe how much brighter it has made both the studio, and the downstairs hall, when the door is open.

Hopefully The Blue Witchy Altar Woodburner (lower picture) will soon be able to have its towel and plastic bag removed, and its flue pipe painted black. The skirting board, cupboards and e1ectrics get finished tomorrow, and the p1umbing and painting on Wednesday.

Earth matters

We now have modern electricity at The Coven. And a fully functioning phone network again. Due to a bui1ders' mishap with the old wiring to our myriad of extensions, for the past couple of weeks we've only been able to have a fixed phone plugged into the main socket. So, no wanderphones and no answerphone. It's been quite nice - to be able to go out for 3 hours and not have to come back to ten messages all requiring me to do things. Less good was having to answer the phone in a kneeling position in the hall, and ask people to wait while I fetched a calendar/pen/sheet of paper to write on (they all started each day by the phone, but somehow walked away during the day). Down memory lane it was, back to those days of phone coversations tied to the hall table when I was a teenager.

But... I was extremely displeased to learn from Nice Efficient E1ectrician that since our meter was changed (remember the saga?) 17 months ago, our house has not been earthed, because the spotty oik who did it failed to reconnect the earth cable into the new meter. Gross incompetence, and also potentially lethal. Deliberate, I'd say. I can't wait to hear what the electric supply company have to say for themselves...

And on other sorts of earth matter... interesting looking programme on Cutting Edge on Channel 4 at 9.00pm tonight. Called 'My Kid's Psychic'. Or not? ;)

The new studio f1oor is coming along nicely too. It's very similar in colour to the field of ripe corn visible from the window that must be about to be harvested, if it ever stops drizzling for long enough for it to dry out for combining. Made of this stuff. Nice and natural, not to mention hardwearing (it's what they use in many offices and public buildings, and comes with a 15 year warranty). Many thanks to reader J, who has a beautiful kitchen floor of it herself, for her suggestions and advice on that one.

Disappearances and appearances

I have lost 5 full Sony memory sticks.
250 pics worth.

I had them all lined up, ready for Mr BW to download and file (I'm not qualified for that job), on the mess that is nominally my Inner Coven Desk, and they have vanished.

I remember thinking on Thursday or Friday last week that I should move them as the p1umbers and e1ectrician needed access to the Inner Coven to get into the eaves cupboard where wiring and piping runs, so I couldn't lock the door as I normally do, and Chief Bui1der displays far too much interest in all my picture-taking and might mind full sticks too irrestistible.

I distinctly remember thinking that it would be a good idea to note their location as a draft post (security is all ;)), but I didn't.

And I definitely don't remember moving them, or where I put them, but I think I must have done as they're not where they were. Or, indeed, anywhere to be found. Despite intensive and prolonged searching.

They'll probably reappear. Sometime. But, in the meantime, I only have 1 small 64MB stick. Which is about 25 pics worth. Which is jolly annoying.

Anyway, must go as I'm about to lose all my Witchy Power as the e1ectrician decided to work today, despite the f1ooring going on, as he needs to modernise our consumer unit from its 70s one-switch-for-all style.

By the way, as a reward for your tolerance of the lengthy Bui1ding Saga, when it's all finished (one day, two days, three days, four days, who can tell...), as I know that those of you who don't know me personally are all very curious as to what I look like, I shall be posting a pic of me and Mr BW, exactly as it came out of the camera.

Value Gift

If you, or anyone you know, has ever fancied one of those colour-changing lamps, I found an excellent bargain on clearance on Maplin's website yesterday. Once £24.99, these glass cololur-changing eggs are now just £4.94. I ordered one yesterday and it is with me today (excellent service from Maplin, as usual). Excellent quality and fades beautifully between colours, or can be fixed on one colour (I recommend blue!).

Perfect to buy now and put away as a FOTCR gift (if you're still as old-fashioned as to believe in the need for such things... ;)) Available in their shops or on the website - but, be quick, I suspect they won't last for long at that price.

It says they are, "Mood lights... producing a calming effect at any time of the day." I've been looking at it for 10 minutes now and my mood has not improved. Hmmmmm ;)

On Bui1ders and Identity Cards

I'll bet that Chief Bui1der wished he hadn't had the day off yesterday after the ear-bashing he got from me when he rang up to check that all was OK at the end of the day. I reserve use of language for situations in which extreme expression of displeasure in extreme circumstances is required. It is then very effective. After 16 weeks of me being at my most dignified, he was quite taken aback by me uttering such expressions such as "fucking bombsite" and "fucking incompetence and unprofessionalism". There were others too. 10 minutes worth of others, actually.

Nothing got finished as it should have been. What was 'finished' wasn't 'finished' to my standards (because it was done by extra p1umbers bought in by the usual one). Nothing got tidied, and it was only by luck that the floorer who was due here today (who generally only does huge contract work in huge developments in large cities) got called to an emergency - a f1ood in a London nightclub (apparently - any London residents/clubbers know if this is true? Blessed are the cynical, I say, for they are rarely disappointed...). The p1umbers went home at 2.30pm as they couldn't do any more (according to them) because there wasn't a bui1der here to help affix the so1ar panel to the roof securely (by then they'd broken half a dozen tiles and snapped 3 drill bits trying). The chippie we should have had all day turned up at 12.30pm and disappeared at 3pm without saying goodbye or finishing what he'd been told to do. I have no idea why as I left them all to it as I thought it was best.

We now have the f1oorer tomorrow and Monday, which knocks out the e1ectrician who was coming on Monday etc etc ad infinitum, so adding to the chaos next week, when all I want to do is get in there to get a month's worth of sorting done in the two weeks of the school holidays that are now left to me.

Anyway, the upshot of all this, and my swearing, was that, in an attempt to placate us, Chief Bui1der has sent us Specialist Painter today, to sort out all the extraneous holes made by Unskilful Bought-In P1umbers and Over-Enthusiastic E1ectrician, and to rub-down and repaint as necessary where we wern't satisfied with the finish.

And Chief Bui1der turned up to clean and do the clearing up that should have been done by his men yesterday, but wasn't, for a couple of hours earlier. He was treated to a long list of other things that weren't satisfactory, like leaking guttering, broken lights, concealed loo tops not fitting, storage cupboard boarding not being finished etc etc. He has a BBQ party for 30 at lunchtime, but, as he said, he's much more scared of the Wrath of Witch than he is of the Wrath of Wifey.

His parting words were that he shouldn't have relied on others to finalise things, and that he'd learnt that, "If you want something done, do it yourself." I bit my tongue and didn't say, "That's how we feel..." and instead said sweetly, "I hope you have a lovely party." I've resisted the urge to do a rain spell, as it is the first warm and sunny day we've had this month. After a record-breaking July, the first 4 days of August felt like May again. Which, for those of you with short memories, was the wettest month on recent record. Which also corresponded with the time out roof was off.

The annoying thing is that Mr BW could get all the outstandings done in a day, by himelf, but apparently it's still going to be Friday before Chief Bui1der has totally finished everything. I'm totally sick of all the bumbling about, not to mention sick of smelling Bui1ders' Loo to be honest.

I've got loads of interesting posts in draft. Just no inclination to finish them with this degree of annoyance going on. In case you're as sick of bui1ders and worried about Identity Cards as I am... read this. It's the Sixth Report of The House of Commons Select Committee on Science and Technology. Sixth Report, on ID Cards.

This Report is the final of three case studies considering the Government's treatment of scientific advice, risk and evidence. It focuses upon the Home Office's identity cards scheme, which uses various technologies including biometrics, information and communication technology (ICT) and smart cards. We considered this scheme in order to explore the ways in which scientific advice, risk and evidence could be managed in relation to technologies that are continually developing.

This inquiry has found several areas in which the Home Office's treatment of scientific advice and evidence appears to be following good practice: the establishment of advisory committees, the use of Office of Government Commerce (OGC) Gateway Reviews and the development of risk management strategies are examples. We welcome the Home Office's commitment to implementing the scheme gradually rather than using a "big bang" approach, which could jeopardise the success of the programme.

We have also identified weaknesses in the use of scientific advice and evidence. We are disappointed with the lack of transparency surrounding the incorporation of scientific advice, the procurement process and the ICT system. Potential suppliers are confused about the extent to which the scheme will be prescriptive and when technical specifications will be released. Whilst the Home Office has attempted to consult the wider community, stakeholders have complained that consultations have been unduly limited in scope and their objectives have been unclear. As a result, the wider community does not have the level of confidence in the scheme that could reasonably be expected at this stage. Whilst the Home Office has determined some aspects of the scheme such as the biometrics, it has left other aspects such as the structure of the database undetermined. Its decisions demonstrate an inconsistent approach to scientific evidence and we are concerned that choices regarding biometric technology have preceded trials. Given that extensive trialling is still to take place, we are sceptical about the validity of costs produced at this stage. We note the danger of cost ceilings driving the choice of technology and call for the Home Office to publish a breakdown of the technology costs following the procurement process.

The identity cards scheme has at least another two years before identity cards begin to be introduced and the scheme has not yet entered its procurement phase. There is still time for the Home Office to make alterations to its processes. We encourage the Home Office to seek advice on ICT from senior and experienced professionals and to establish an ICT assurance committee. Whilst biometric technology is an important part of the scheme, it must not detract from other aspects of the programme, in particular ICT. It is crucial that the Home Office increases clarity and transparency across the programme, not only in problem areas. We also emphasise that if evidence emerges that contradicts existing assumptions, changes must be made to the programme even if the timescale or cost of the project is extended in consequence.

Bear in mind that Select Committees are Bliar's own choice of people.

Now, I know that I have several readers who hold senior positions in companies. Would any of your companies have made such a complete and utter foul-up and wasted so much money? Unless it's a public company, once-national dinosaur company that has been privatised, or part of the Civil Service, I sincerely doubt it. I know that Mr BW's company wouldn't have.

What a waste of my money, and yours.
And what a concern.

Friday again

I claim another victory for Witchy Consumer Power.

After a very, very, very, long email dialogue with various people at various levels at Pipex, they have now finally seen sense and are publishing geographic numbers as well as the 0845- ones. I do wonder why it needed a customer to repeatedly point out to them that 0845- numbers are expensive to most customers (as they're not bundled into free minutes packages or available at 0p per minute from services such as 1899) as well as to them, before they did this.

When I first went to Pipex the service was excellent. However, the reliability of the service is now so bad that I need to go elsewhere. There have been periods every day for the last few weeks when I have had either no mail server access, or no web server access, and they have no server status line to tell customers what is happening and when they might expect services to be restored. I'm just now receiving emails that were sent yesterday lunchtime (a couple by me, to me, as tests). It's a nightmare to get through to them either on the phone, or by email (their target turnaround time for initial response to complaints is 10 days - need I say more?).

The line my broadband is currently on cannot currently be upgraded beyond 512KB, due to the old cabling and the distance we are from the exchange. Despite negotiating a discount on their standard rates last year when the attempted upgrade to 1MB failed, prices generally have fallen, and the £14.99 a month we are paying seems to be comparatively high.

However, my other line would seem to have been part of the cabling upgrade that BT have just completed in this area (which was primarily done to supply new business lines), and several different systems are claiming I can get up to 6.5MB on that one. So, my plan is to get broadband from another supplier operating on my second line before cancelling my service on my existing line. It'll cost a few pounds more in overlapping monthly payments, but it will be worth it to avoid the changeover hassles that most people seem to experience.

So, which broadband suppliers do you recommend (or are they all as bad as each other?)? All I want is broadband, not bundled voice calls/broadband, and I don't need any equipment, free gifts or any other sales gimmicks. I require reliable service, a dedicated server status line, and geographic contact numbers (not 0870-, 0845-, or 09-) that do not go through to call centres abroad.

Meanwhile, in other news, Chief Bui1der has taken the day off as he has some old friends visiting. I am not very pleased about that.

This was *supposed* to be their last working day, as the f1oor goes down tomorrow. But, as ever with these things, there is still lots to do (door painting, external making good, mastic beading edges, doorway finishing, replacement of broken items such as external 1ights, window cleaning etc etc).

The e1ectrician couldn't get here today, but he did sterling work yesterday, and, as he's needed again on Monday to fit the f1oor 1ights, that's not drastic. Despite there being 3 p1umbers, I doubt they're going to finish everything, as it's all very complicated, and things keep arriving damaged, and I will not accept radiators with huge gouges in them as efforts to touch them up will result in nasty coloured patches within no time at all. And besides, things with a £300 price tag (not that we paid that, but...) should be properly packaged for transit.

The chippie who is supposed to be completing the architrave and eaves boarding hasn't yet turned up, and I think I'm going to scream.

Still, I've told them all, once the floor is down, they are not coming in in either dirty workclothes, or workboots, and I shall be in there sorting my arty things out, so they will be working under my beady eye, and there will be no talking allowed.

Oh - and, to cap it all, Chief Bui1der had the cheek to send us an email on Wednesday asking for the last of the staged payments by the end of this week. That payment is due, according to the contract, "on completion of internal works". He must think we were born yesterday. He hasn't raised the subject with me in person, perhaps because he knows what the reply would be...

I've just realised that this last 16 week period is the first time since 1995 when we moved here that we have ever spent money faster than we have been earning it. Roughly 4 times faster, according to my spreadsheet. And, although all our purchases have been meticulously researched (Pipex permitting...) and as Value as is available in this country, and largely covered by either 0% balance transfers, or 0% purchase offers, that concept is very, very scary to a Value Witch.

Excess wordage

A special offer leaflet from a specialist local wine merchant has just fallen onto our doormat. It says: "We are committed to offering customers an excellent quality to value ratio and wines in this offer start from £3.95."

Now, why do customers need to hear the company's business speak? "...quality to value ratio..." indeed. What a load of nonsense.

And then there are the two new shops recently opened in Small Local Town - M&S Simply Food and Costa Coffee (*sighs*). Everything wrapped up in deliciously descriptive excess wordage (as well as in excess packaging), but it doesn't make it taste any better.

Good Friend BW and I were attending a craft course the other day. We'd both taken packed lunches but some of the other course members went out to get something from M&S. One elderly lady remarked, "I bought this because it sounded lovely on the wrapper, but I could have got better in [name of the excellent, independent, local sandwich bar that has had vastly reduced trade in the past couple of weeks] for half the price!"

She read the description aloud. I'd love to repeat it, or something similar, but I can't begin to write that kind of rubbish. Good Friend BW listened carefully, then said, "Take out all the flowery words and all you're left with is cheese and salad - why did you expect any more than a cheese salad sandwich?" "Well... it said..." the old dear began, and then the penny dropped. She'd been conned.

Less is more.

Except with workmen, when, now into the 16th week since the scaffo1ding went up, more bui1ders, e1ectricians, p1umbers and ti1ers are definitely better. There seem to be at least 7 of them today, judging from the amount of chatting going on (don't anyone ever tell me that women talk!). Lights, sockets, rads, so1ar panel and sanitaryware are all in the process of being fitted. Here's where we see whether months of careful sourcing works out aesthetically. With luck all except a few jobs, that can only be done after the flooring is laid at the weekend, should be complete by tomorrow night. And then I shall be very, very relieved.

*sniggers*

Your Quirk Factor: 63%

You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal. No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average."

(via)

Good Customer Service Award

Just to prove that I do also praise good customer service (when I get it - not often these days, see below)... a Witchy Word of Approval for http://craftynotions.com/.

Next day delivery, by first class post, well packaged, and good quality product. And, because they were out of stock of a mixed colours item I ordered, they sensibly sent me separate pots of the colours involved that I could mix myself, with a nice handwritten note of explanation/apology. Cost them pence more, but resulted in a satisfied customer, guaranteed future business, and a link which should send them up the Google rankings.

Frustration

1. Insurance companies who, year after year, send out quotations because you once, many years ago, had a quote from them. Step forward Liverpool Victoria who sent an unrequested quotation for a whopping £702.40 for less contents + buildings cover than we're getting for just over £300. What a scam the insurance industry is. Even the insurance screenscraper sites don't offer what the initial returns pages suggest when you actually click through.

2. Internet companies selling Velux blinds who have websites that allow you to accidentally put something other than your postcode in the postcode slot, then leave you several answer-phone messages on Monday that, because there has been a problem with your phone line, you only discover on Wednesday, telling you they cannot process your order until you telephone them with your postcode. Now, if you ran a small business, and didn't have a customer's postcode, what would you do? I know what I do, and it isn't leave the customer answerphone messages. Step forward Lockhart's Blinds. You may be the cheapest, but I shan't be buying from you again. Oh, and there's a missing apostrophe in your company name.

3. Painters who think they can do undercoating while a ti1er is cutting floor tiles and there are piles of dusty bui1ders refuse (sawdust, plaster dust, grout dust) lying around unswept, and the wind blowing outside.

4. Ti1ers who spend weeks ti1ing one shower room. Yeah, so it's very complicated, and he's generally doing a good job (apart from not lining the diagonally laid floor ti1es up with the centre of the door as he appears to have failed to accurately divide the door width by two), but the excellent ti1er we've employed in the past could have ti1ed the whole bloody house in the time Chief Bui1der's employee has taken. I'm just bloody glad I'm not paying him by the hour.

5. And last but not least, at least for the moment, the Moronic Double Glazing Company who yesterday finally got round to arriving to replace the sea1s and gaskets from black to white and the glass units to ones with white spacer bars, as originally ordered. Except that the surly old git sent to do the work smoked inside (against the Witchy Rules), broke off half a gorgeous fuchsia that our bui1ders had managed to avoid for 15 weeks, despite everything - including half tonne stee1s and massive sheets of plywood and plasterboard - that has gone up and down the ladder near where it is, refused to wipe down the filthy white UPVC edges before fitting the new sea1s and glass panels as, "Cleaning up is the bui1ders job, they put the muck there so they get it off," and fitted a 6 foot tall unit with a spacer bar made of 3 separate lengths of metal, in two different colour tones. That's now got to be replaced too. And I haven't yet decided about the the other 6 foot panel or the 2 foot tall window that also have spacer bars in two parts. To join spacer bars at all is just penny-pinching. Furthermore, after the replacement efforts, both opening doors now squeak, and they couldn't even be bothered to spray them with WD40 to stop it! Now, tell me, if you ran a small start-up company and had one very upset and angry customer because you'd already cocked up once, wouldn't you go out of your way to make everything perfect when they kindly gave you the opportunity to put right your errors, rather than tell you to take out the two and a half grand's worth of product you'd made incorrectly, as they could have done?

What is it with people, companies etc these days? Does no-one care, have any intelligence, professionalism, or respect?

Personally I blame the consumer (or rather, the majority of consumers). As I've repeatedly said here before, if people accept poor service, quality and workmanship (this is the sort of thing I mean - look at the poll results and read the comments - but this is not an isolated incident, I see this sort of thing all the time in blogland, and often hear people's stories), they are sending companies a strong message that they can get away with reducing standards even more. Companies only exist to make a profit, and the lower they keep their costs, the higher their profit.

Next time you let something go that you could complain about, just think about how, in so doing, you are contributing to the the overall lowering of standards in this country.

Escapism and Progress

Bit busy doing things like this (the annual very Value day craft classes at a local community centre):

to keep out of the way while the bui1ders finish up, doing things like this, ready for the flooring to be laid on Saturday:


Recognise that 'random' mosa1c line that gave me such a headache a few weeks back?

And aren't those flues cute? (the Blue Witchy Blue Altar Woodburner looks pretty good too) :)

Insurance scam

The insurance companies (3 at least, to my direct knowledge, so I suspect more) have come up with a new trick recently.

They send you a renewal notice with a price for the next year's premium.

You go online to check that price by entering your details to get a new quote and get a figure £20-£50 lower.

You check the T&Cs, but there is nothing to say the price is only for new business.

You save the quote by clicking the appropriate button.

You ring them to ask why.

They tell you that's because it's an internet price for new business.

You ask them to match the price.

They say they can't.

You cancel your policy from the renewal date (be very clear it is from the renewal date, so you get the cover you have already paid for).

You set up a new policy, with the same insurer (assuming that it is still the best price and cover to meet your requirements), for considerably less than renewing your existing policy with them.

Disliking the environmental costs and consumer deception angle of this, you try to talk sense to a senior manager by pointing out how much it is going to cost them to send out a complete new set of documentation and cancel an existing policy rather than just price-match their own internet quote.

The manager tells you that you are, "One of a very, very, small group of consumers that we know are price savvy and will do this, but we have calculated such exceptionals into the costings and are convinced that it is still cost effective to our business."

You sigh and decide to make more people aware of this shark-like business practice.

Yet another case of companies only being interested in winning new business without concern for keeping existing customers - in this case, with known track-records of not claiming, which must be a better bet for their business.